AIBU to not to any of these things at my wedding

[Crowdblundering]

I am going out on the piss for my hen do - one night in my home town not a week away costing all my friends millions.

I am not having a "theme" (other than getting married). I am not having bridesmaids, or a choreographed dance.

I plan to buy invites from WHSmith, not to send a "save the date" card.

To have a late afternoon wedding so we can just have a party after with our friends.

To not care what anyone else is wearing. To not have a really grabby wedding list - to not ban anything or anyone. To just invite who WE want to invite.

To not release doves, or have a photo booth.

To not spend £20,000 on one day of my life.

To not post on FB Every. Single. Day how many days are left until my wedding day.

AIBU? Should I be more Bridezillary?!

Please help me be more demanding and enter into the madness that getting married seems to be in these times 😆

*lifeisabracrissing"

Thanks - that is what I was getting at.

If thats want you want do it, I think when it comes to getting married if we get around to it (10 years and 2 kids in) we will just go on holiday just the 4 of us and come home married cant afford a big do and don't really want one anyway. Im an introvert so the less attention on me the better

We would have eloped but we have 6 kids and I did not fancy having that lot on honeymoon with us

Wow - I never said any of those things were "wrong". Please show me where I said others were wrong......

You honestly can't recognise the judgmental subtext in your post?

So comments about asking for help to be "more bridezilla-y" and hen dos "costing millions", "posting on Facebook every. Single. Day." and "being more demanding" and referring to wedding celebrations as "madness" was meant to convey you saw nothing wrong with these things?

Ah, but are you having a photo booth with 'quirky' props, or jam jars with wildflowers in as centrepieces?

What about giant light up initials? A must at every unique wedding.

I first got married in 2004 and I guess I was just amazed at how big the machine and the industry has grown since then - and yeah to a degree it feels a bit pressured to provide this "event".

I truly and sincerely apologise if I have offended anyone

Nobody cares - so you don't need to expend so much energy on showing how fab you are

I'm not doing half the shit you mention by the way. I have no idea what a wedding theme is, there's no dress code, I haven't sent save the dates and I wouldn't even know how to go about having a dove release but all best wishes to those that do. They're not harming anyone and if it makes them happy to celebrate their marriage in that way, so bloody what?

Well, OP, after a long list of completely inoffensive things you are pointedly eschewing, with a facetious "should I be more Bridezillary" and an explicit claim about not entering madness or being demanding, it's pretty clear you think you are morally superior to all those other vapid women who do their day differently to you. Do you really not see how this is far more attention and approval seeking than having your sister and best friend walk down the aisle with you?

The wedding industry is shite but you are not some lone voice of sense and superiority among the babbling female masses. Just have the day you want and let other women be.

Omg "judgemental subtext" seriously ?

It's my opinion which is neither wrong nor right.

People are taking this way too seriously.

On a serious note a lady at work has fallen out with her brothers fiancee about being expects to go to Portugal for a week on a hen do.

You are much, much better than your random co worker's sister-in-law to be whom none of us on the internet know or care about.

Feel better now?

None of us know or care about anyone on here - that's the whole point of expressing an opinion on an annoymous forum - surely...

Sounds exactly like my wedding! We, and everyone else, had an amazing time.

I didn't do 'favours' either. I find them pointless.

Have a great time

You do realise that most of the bridezilla types usually don't have six children? I imagine nobody would expect a huge hen do etc or a child free wedding or any of the other things done by mere mortals, all of whom wish they were you!

Someone has offered to do "favours" for us I have no idea what they will be.

YABU.

Buying invited from Whsmith is bad for the planet op.

Go to your nearest beach and find some large flat rocks and carve your invite to your guests. Deliver by hand, walk to each guests house, don't drive. Much more environmental friendly.

Your wedding sounds great, but mine will be great too, and I'm having some of the things you say you don't want. I'm not a bridezilla and i'm not mad either!

Different tastes, different experiences, different ideas, different priorities... I just don't get why you felt the need to post this? It does sound like a passive aggressive criticism of people who are doing it differently to you.

Ah!

But what about the children?
Invited or not?

Weird thread. That just sounds like every wedding I've ever attended, mine included.

You're not being unreasonable. You're being a bit smug and sanctimonious by listing a bunch of things, looking down your nose at them and imbuing them with a patina of shittiness just because they're not to your taste. Who gives a fuck what you have at your wedding?

Some MNers love to be competitively relaxed though; "oh I can't even remember the date of my birthday or anniversary."

I think you hit a nerve with this thread OP.

Clearly

Sounds absolutely bloody marvellous.
A day that's about the marriage more than the wedding - perfect.

And I agree that so much about wedding planning has gone completely insane.

Candy what date is Christmas? I'm so chill and laid back I can't remember.