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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to never go to the cinema again?

607 replies

rmrf · 15/01/2017 09:01

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

OP posts:
MostIneptThatEverStepped · 15/01/2017 21:49

Well...ok. This thread has gone in directions I did not anticipate. But what I came on to say, 21 pages ago, was that I went to one of those hipster type cinemas near Waterloo.
Everyone had headphones. You could make yours louder or quieter. You did not have to hear any fecker eating popcorn or rustling sweet papers or chatting. It was marvellous.
Why couldn't this be an option at other non hipster screenings? Not for the whole audience, just got those that wanted it. I'd take it e try time.

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 15/01/2017 21:50

Every*

WinterRose92 · 15/01/2017 22:03

So annoying. We tend to wait for a while to see a film so it's not so busy when we go but it does drive me mad when people use their phones. So rude. One time, we went to see a film and it was pretty empty, but there was a guy three rows behind us who was bloody talking on his phone during the film! It happened twice! I turned and stared him out the 2nd time it happened and he had the cheek to scowl at me! What's the point paying to see a film if your going to chat on your phone throughout it and ruin my day at the same time, you inconsiderate arse?!
And also, the constant sound of rustling wrappers annoy the hell out of me!
To be honest, going to the cinema seems more hassle than its worth sometimes, would rather wait for it to come up on Netflix! YANBU at all. Popcorn is cheaper from the shops, too Wink

SeaWitchly · 15/01/2017 22:34

Not the cinema, but I took my two DS [7 & 5 years] to a pantomime performance the other day.
I am sure you all know the pantomime experience... lots of excited young children, rustling of sweet wrappers, audience participation actively encouraged - "He's behind you!" etc...
Well DS7 was particularly excited and at the commencement of the performance made a couple of comments to me about what he was seeing on stage, not very loudly at all, more a stage whisper. And the woman directly in front of him whipped her head around to give both of us the death stare. I ignored her as I didn''t think DS had done anything but she made a point of doing it again when he made another comment later on [and the theatre was very noisy anyway so it was impossible that DS was individually ruining her listening experience Hmm] but I shushed DS as I didn't want snowflake woman causing a scene and upsetting DS... but I later felt bad that I had shushed him as he was behaving perfectly well and intolerant woman obviously expected complete silence from those around her which was completely unreasonable in that environment!

Anyway I also agree with those who say it is not reasonable to expect complete silence when you attend a cinema performance. If someone is too rude/annoying, i.e. kicking your chair or loudly talking all the way through please do get a member of staff to deal with the situation.
But some of you sound very easily annoyed by popcorn eating and someone texting quietly on their phone. If this sort of thing causes you hypertension and stress it is probably best you wait for film to come out on DVD or Netflix!

Dawndonnaagain · 15/01/2017 23:14

Sorry to hijack. We're back. DS had a tachycardia event. He's been allowed home and will need to have meds looked at this week.
Thank you all for the posts on the thread and the pms.
Flowers

AVirginLitTheCandle · 16/01/2017 00:08

Welcome back Dawn Flowers Smile

coffeetasteslikeshit · 16/01/2017 08:12

Well, this thread took an unexpected turn whilst I was away. I've finally read the whole thing and would like to apologise for my comments up thread if they upset anyone, I honestly hadn't thought of SN when it comes to eating at the cinema.

Flowers to whoever it was that was reduced to tears (sorry, connection is too slow to scrawl back and find your name) and Flowers to all those who struggle to get out.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 16/01/2017 09:55

coffeetasteslikeshit
The fact that you heard and listened to what we were saying fills me with hope. It's why we do what we do. Thank you.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 16/01/2017 10:00

I've learnt loads about SN from being on MN.

If you don't mind me asking, why would someone eat throughout a film? Is it to distract from stuff that would otherwise be scary or something?

I find that the more information I have, the better able I am to empathise. I used to think that I may be on the spectrum but my therapist thinks it's more to do with not being taught empathy by my parents, so I'm a work in progress!

LadyMelbourne · 16/01/2017 10:02

Lady M is most cheered by your thoughts Coffee

Many face invisible challenges and others perceptions can be one of those challenges,

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 16/01/2017 10:03

Coffee you seem to be doing just fine to me. Empathy doesn't come naturally to me either, I'm a work in progress too Grin

In DS1s case it's a distraction, something he can control in a sea of things he can't iyswim. He can't control the noise, or the smells, or the crowd but eating gives him something to focus on, an anchor if you like.

skyyequake · 16/01/2017 10:29

coffeetasteslikeshit from what I understand of autism negative sensory stimuli can sometimes be counteracted by positive ones. So for instance if the movie is very loud this can be painful to an autistic person but having the positive sensory stimulus of chewing on food they enjoy can make this bearable so they can enjoy the contents of the film!

user1483945709 · 16/01/2017 10:38

My ds, who has SN's just loves eating popcorn at the cinema! And is totally unaware of any noise he is making, as he is so engrossed by the visual and audible experience!

NathanBarleyrocks · 16/01/2017 10:40

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user1483945709 · 16/01/2017 10:42

I think one of my most enjoyable cinema experiences, was when a lad with Down syndrome was really enjoying the film. He laughed at funny bits, cheered and clapped at happy bits etc, etc. Was lovely to see.

We are so British, sitting in silence!

aretheyhavingalaff · 16/01/2017 10:43

user1483945709 - your poor son. It's your responsibility to teach him how to behave in public so that people will want to be with him. You are not setting a good example allowing him to behave like this. Entitlement screams at me (from you!)

user1483945709 · 16/01/2017 10:44

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user1483945709 · 16/01/2017 10:44

I give up!

aretheyhavingalaff · 16/01/2017 10:46

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NathanBarleyrocks · 16/01/2017 10:50

user1483945709 I haven't been to the cinema for years as it isn't the same experience as it was 20/30 years ago. People seem to have lost the ability to have consideration for others. I expect silence from people. That stopped happening so I don't go any more.

skyyequake · 16/01/2017 11:00

Ok I'm going to have to say this slowly again.

If. Other. Peoples. Existence. Annoys. You. Dont. Go.

User's DS has every right to go to the cinema without entitled idiots berating him from something he can't control. But of course... all SNs can be completely eradicated with discipline right? Hmm

Dawndonnaagain · 16/01/2017 11:05

Nathan So glad you don't go to the cinema anymore, I would hate for my ds with full body tics to sit next to you.
Or not...

MitzyLeFrouf · 16/01/2017 11:06

Any fule kno that the best time to see a film is just as it's coming to the end of its run. Preferably in the afternoon. It's basically like having your own private cinema. No munchers to be heard!

Dawndonnaagain · 16/01/2017 11:07

Honestly Nathan what was the point of that post, which I have reported. Does it make you feel better to question someones parenting? To question their decisions as to whether it's okay to go out with their children, a risk they've already weighed up and decided they may possibly go out and do the things that the rest of the world do without being attacked and vilified? Seriously, if that's the case, I suggest you go take a good hard look at yourself. If you're unable to do that, and I suspect from your post that may well be the case, then stfu and let nicer folk than you alone. Angry

user1483945709 · 16/01/2017 11:12

Im not sure which part of totally unaware, you didn't get. He does not know he is making any noise, as he is overwhelmed by the visual and audible experience (which he loves)

You will be pleased to hear, that he sits in total silence, apart from the odd rustle of popcorn or the occasion hand flap