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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop work

374 replies

hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:10

I can never make my mind up, so quick thread to get other views.

Pros are, I like my job, it's school hours, it's worthwhile and it pays reasonably well.

Cons. Oh, the cons.

I'm not making a huge amount. In fact I make barely anything, due to nursery costs. This will change obviously.
I have other things I want to do ... I have got really into some voluntary work, and I could help out more there, I want to do some more voluntary work with animals but don't have time.
The house is a mess.
I have another interest I want to develop but really don't have time.

Any thoughts? I made a vague enquiring about PT but was essentially told NO.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 13/01/2017 16:12

Do you need the money (even though it's a small amount after nursery fees)?

Are you actually going to have more time for the volunteering, or will you be looking after the DC who's now in nursery?

Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:14

That's a really good point essential but I'd want her to carry on with nursery (though not as many hours) as its really benefited her, she has loads of friends and confidence :)

OP posts:
Magzmarsh · 13/01/2017 16:16

If you're not making much money then it might be sensible to stop and pursue your other interest. I wouldn't put a messy house as a con, a better solution would be to get everyone to help with the housework, giving up a job to spend more time cleaning the house quickly becomes soul destroying Wink

NickyEds · 13/01/2017 16:17

Can you afford it? How does your partner feel about it?

NapQueen · 13/01/2017 16:18

Are you married? Being a sahm and not being married is a risky situation imo.

I wouldn't quit if I'm honest as these sorts of job are like unicorn shite. So rare. Pretty soon the little ones will be in school and you will have z3ro childcare costs.

Can you do more with your hobbies and interests evenings and weekends?

Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:19

We are married. I just never have time, Nap - it's spreading me too thin. DH thinks it would all be smoother if someone was at home.

OP posts:
HawthornLantern · 13/01/2017 16:20

If you give up work and then, for whatever reason, you need to go back into the workplace later on, would it be difficult for you? Is continuity of employment (up to date skills etc) relevant in your job? What I'm really saying is that if you leave your job but need it back again at some point, have you damaged your chances in any way? So short term it may not be paying you many dividends but long term the answer might be different (it might not - just that it's worth thinking about).

Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:21

Possibly, I can't deny that that is a possibility. And I was lucky to get this job and I do really like it but I wish I could do 3 or even 4 days.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/01/2017 16:21

It's school hours. I say keep it and volunteer when you have time.

Also, I'm always a little Hmm when you are clearly spread too thin and your DH wants you at home. Does he do his share of housework, childcare and general spread-thin-ness?

IllMetByMoonlight · 13/01/2017 16:22

I'd think twice about leaving if it meant taking an indefinite career break, effectively stepping off your career path, if it is that sort of job. You may not make much after nursery fees now, but will you be able to hop back on where you left off once your child starts school? For me, this would be nigh on impossible.

NapQueen · 13/01/2017 16:24

When you say school hours do you mean 9-3.30 term time only?

Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:25

I have to commit to a certain number of hours a week, though - it's fine but the only ones I can do are late at night due to childcare. Which means I'm wiped out the next morning. Obviously this isn't conducive to working the next day so they have to be Friday or Saturday nights which means next day I'm so tired.

I guess I should stop the volunteering but I LOVE it and the people are lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:25

Yes Nap

OP posts:
IllMetByMoonlight · 13/01/2017 16:25

Cross-posted with Hawthorn.

NapQueen · 13/01/2017 16:26

But essentially that is part time. I don't understand how you don't have spare time to do stuff. Sorry I don't mean to sound snippy but you have lots and lots of spare time imo.

IrnBruTortie · 13/01/2017 16:28

If you give up work, what about your pension? My pal is approaching retirement age and has been busy calculating her pension etc, and it's made me very glad I didn't go PT / SAHM when I'd first had the kids and would've bitten your arm off for the chance...

Crumbs1 · 13/01/2017 16:28

I think advantage of keeping job going is for later on when kids are older, more expensive and you are bored. Moving up career ladder and getting more interesting work is easier from a position of employment.

Original poster
hurtingbackachingheart · 13/01/2017 16:30

Well, I have to be in school for half eight and sort out small people's washing, dressing, breakfasts, get them out of the house, into nursery, go to work myself, spend the day at work, finish at 3, leave at 3:15. Back to walk dog, go to pick children up, food, changing, playing, shouting, bed.

It doesn't feel very part time!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/01/2017 16:32

What do the weekends look like?

Truckingalong · 13/01/2017 16:33

Echo the poster above who said that they are already pretty much part time hours.

bloodyteenagers · 13/01/2017 16:34

I don't understand either how you don't have time to do stuff. Sorry even with you showing your day.

Truckingalong · 13/01/2017 16:35

That sounds like a very good work life balance. Does your OH do the same level of domestic work?

Chottie · 13/01/2017 16:38

I would stick with your job too. Times are hard and those sort of jobs are very hard to come by.

notsurehowtodothis · 13/01/2017 16:41

The house is a mess

If you're going to be a SAHM don't expect the house to be any tidier. If anything, mine is worse as now the DCs are home full time as opposed to nursery when I was working, and I can't keep up with their speed of destruction....

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 13/01/2017 16:41

As school hour jobs are like hen's teeth in most areas it's often worth hanging on to them so that once the DCs start school you get a reasonable income and don't have to use much out of school childcare. Lots of people effectively work for next to nothing while paying nursery fees.