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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel a little annoyed this woman googled my husband?

180 replies

farmerswifey33 · 11/01/2017 20:34

My husband is handsome. I often look at him and wonder what he's doing with a plain Jane like me 🙄 Our whole relationship I've had to deal with other women openly flirting with him.
He never flirts back, he's incredibly awkward around people (men included tbh) he'd much rather be in his tractor or with his herd of cattle 😆 We have a very loving relationship and I trust him 100%
Anyway, we've been happily married 12yrs and have a lovely life with 2 primary aged children. He is very rarely in the playground, I'm a sahm so do all the school stuff. A few of my mummy friends have commented that I have a very handsome husband but I laugh it off and tell them they wouldn't put up with his obsession with all things farming and never being able to go on nice holidays because he won't leave his animals etc.
However, the other day a school mum friend stopped me in the playground and told me she had seen my husband in his tractor and they had waved at him. Then, she said something very odd. Whilst giggling she said she had gone home and googled him then proceeded to tell me what articles he's been in and she found a picture of him in the local paper from 2006. I honestly didn't know what to say. Why the hell is she googling my husband?? Is this normal? I'm guessing it might be but why tell me?
I now feel a bit sick about it. I told dh and he said she was a weirdo!
AIBU to feel a little uneasy? Thinking of keeping my distance with her 😕

OP posts:
HardofCleaning · 13/01/2017 13:58

SirChenjin

Exactly, the googling is no big deal, people google other people all the time. The only odd bit was telling you about it but she probably just spoke without thinking, bit embarrassing for her but no big deal.

areyoubeingserviced · 13/01/2017 14:00

I don't google people. I think it's a not strange to be honest.
If I found out someone was googling me I would think that they were saddos
I would think that the 'googler' would inadvertently give themselves away

areyoubeingserviced · 13/01/2017 14:03

I think it's strange

KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile · 13/01/2017 14:05

It's refreshingly honest. That's weird in itself. Most of us don't admit it Grin

hibouhibou · 13/01/2017 14:07

Sounds like she's got a lot missing in her life. Some people are sad.

KickAssAngel · 13/01/2017 14:12

"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife"

but yes, it's not weird to google someone, it is weird to tell their spouse ... unless you needed to do research for legitimate work purposes.

Sarahisthename · 13/01/2017 14:29

Not RTFT... But I think you really to upload a picture of DH (in pants ) before I can judge is woman was reasonable or not ...

SirChenjin · 13/01/2017 15:08

Agree Hard. I always find it funny that posters can assert that others are sad losers/are lacking something in their lives/are mad stalky weirdos out to get your man/etc with such finality on the basis of a throwaway comment made by someone who have obviously not engaged their thought/speech filters for a few moments. Live and let live, I say - we all make silly mistakes.

ineedmorelemonpledge · 13/01/2017 18:09

No Sir Chenjin if you read my earlier post I said that the op surely feels secure in her relationship with him having discussed it etc and I don't think she should do anything in regards to advice here about rumour spreading and gossip about this woman.

What I added later is that some posters are taking the suspicious route and I can understand why based on some life experiences I've seen/read on here and heard about.

SirChenjin · 13/01/2017 18:16

I'm sure that is the case - but mthe person who was at fault in the example you gave was the cheating husband (who was hiding in plain sight).

ineedmorelemonpledge · 13/01/2017 18:57

No, they were both at fault.

SirChenjin · 13/01/2017 21:18

If she had a husband, then yes. If not then the fault is his - he cheated on his wife.

brianna5 · 13/01/2017 22:32

Dinnerout1 - bcos I don't have time to be so judgemental and negative about life and people doesn't make me a supect in d slightest and if I am suspected, Pls who hasn't googled a man on here put ur hands up. And I'm also sure it's someone's husband & have just been wise not to mention it to their wives, my dear.

SirChenjin - thanx hun, u took d words out of my mouth.

Ticketybootoo · 15/01/2017 08:58

Agree with SuperTrumper !
I don't think her behaviour is appropriate or quite normal either !

Realjournal123 · 15/01/2017 09:12

Googling people today is quite normal and she probably does it regularly to all sorts of people as I do sometimes. She shouldn't be telling you though. I think she's harmless and naive. Don't be too mad at her.

Deidre21 · 16/01/2017 14:48

No, you are not being unreasonable. Some people just have nothing much to do with their lives, however as irritating as it is just try to not let it bother you. I have come across people who google things about us and it annoys me at first but then I just think they're sad with nothing better to do. (probably also find us interesting as opposed to their own lives). She could be a flirt and perhaps she thinks that by her being honest to you that she googled him, will make her seem harmless and if she's now talking to you she'll perhaps become friendly with him when and if he is doing the odd school run and that can possibly give her the chance to start a flirty friendship with him - I could be wrong - but there are all kinds of attention seeking people out there - at least your husband sounds loyal and you trust him so that's all that matters.

HelpTheTigers · 18/01/2017 14:23

My DP is a bit gorgeous too and I've had problems with a few women over the years, particularly as we used to go to a dance class where there were a few predators about. One was sending him emails talking about me ("I saw your girlfriend looking at us dancing together last night, is she the jealous type? I'm not, I think it's awful" Ehh, wtf??!!), another used to flirt with him outrageously and talk to him while whispering into his neck (her name was Sylvia and her nickname was Syphilis) and yet another jumped on him and tried to kiss him full-on. There were quite a few other flirts. I wasn't too bothered about his side of things although tbh, he could have been a bit more assertive in knocking them back. I was rather disgusted with the other women though. Re the googling thing, it is a bit odd but probably not worth overthinking. I'd rather someone did it openly and said so, instead of surreptitiously. I'm probably well in the minority for that view though!

I'm really pleased for you that you have a good life and a lovely DH, he obviously only has eyes for you and that's fantastic. Cheers to that!

CaraAspen · 18/01/2017 14:27

A bit gorgeous. Describe so that I can judge. One woman's idea of gorgeous is another woman's idea of ugh.

monkeymamma · 18/01/2017 14:29

I think she's an oversharer rather than a weirdo actually. If she googled him and told someone ELSE about it but not you (then aforementioned 3rd party told you) that would be a bit creepy. Or if she did it secretly. Or if she did it, said nothing, and then let slip something like 'oh, how are his prize winning runner beans nowadays? He won the village fete with them six years ago didn't he?' that would be weird and dodgy. To be honest she's confusing him somewhat with someone famous or whatever - I imagine her genuine intentions are not to have a torrid affair.

CaraAspen · 18/01/2017 14:34

All different - all gorgeous... in the eye of the beholder.

user1484493755 · 18/01/2017 14:35

I can sometimes we a bit OTT when I'm having a laugh. I googled my handsome work colleague once. I didn't tell him though! Haha.

If I find a man hot and he's clearly unavailable (gay or married) I will openly say he's handsome. It's just a compliment

user1484493755 · 18/01/2017 14:36

I'm an oversharer too. Sometimes the things I say are inappropriate and I cringe later in the day.
I'm just an extrovert who says what I think

BitchinBlack · 18/01/2017 18:28

Stop putting yourself down OP, I'm sure you are lovely. That woman is a lunatic so AVOID. You and your husband seem to have a lovely marriage so go home and close that big farmhouse door and shut the nutty world out. Remember that anyone can google someone , but it's only you that goes to bed with him at night WinkSmile