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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel a little annoyed this woman googled my husband?

180 replies

farmerswifey33 · 11/01/2017 20:34

My husband is handsome. I often look at him and wonder what he's doing with a plain Jane like me 🙄 Our whole relationship I've had to deal with other women openly flirting with him.
He never flirts back, he's incredibly awkward around people (men included tbh) he'd much rather be in his tractor or with his herd of cattle 😆 We have a very loving relationship and I trust him 100%
Anyway, we've been happily married 12yrs and have a lovely life with 2 primary aged children. He is very rarely in the playground, I'm a sahm so do all the school stuff. A few of my mummy friends have commented that I have a very handsome husband but I laugh it off and tell them they wouldn't put up with his obsession with all things farming and never being able to go on nice holidays because he won't leave his animals etc.
However, the other day a school mum friend stopped me in the playground and told me she had seen my husband in his tractor and they had waved at him. Then, she said something very odd. Whilst giggling she said she had gone home and googled him then proceeded to tell me what articles he's been in and she found a picture of him in the local paper from 2006. I honestly didn't know what to say. Why the hell is she googling my husband?? Is this normal? I'm guessing it might be but why tell me?
I now feel a bit sick about it. I told dh and he said she was a weirdo!
AIBU to feel a little uneasy? Thinking of keeping my distance with her 😕

OP posts:
mumofthemonsters808 · 11/01/2017 22:56

Having a very handsome Husband must bring a whole new set of problems. I work with someone whose Husband is a fitness instructor and I cringe when she tells me about his stalker experiences with both young and older women. I felt very sorry for her when she said most people are shocked to find out they are together and she knows what other women are thinking about her attractiveness compared to his.It must be a very hard thing to handle, but she said it's always been this way and it's ok, she's proud of her beautiful man.

I google random people, but I would never admit to it.

dontdoitatall · 11/01/2017 22:57

I'd steer well clear sounds to me like she's after your man!

layercake9 · 11/01/2017 22:59

It doesn't help that almost everyone and their pet dogs have Facebook, Instagram or Twitter accounts, and oversharing every single detail about their daily activities, where they live, where they've been, or where they've spent the day with their kids. It's even more alarming to see so many people share pics of their children online. Not sure why so many people insist on oversharing on social media and making it so easy to find everything about them. Maybe this is why people love "googling up" anyone. Too easy.

glitterazi · 11/01/2017 23:00

Googling --and nosing on facebook profiles of people daft enough to have no privacy settings is normal.
TELLING them isn't. Grin

glitterazi · 11/01/2017 23:00

strike out fail lol

Huldra · 11/01/2017 23:06

I'm not sure that she would have mentioned it if she was really after him. Maybe there had been a bit of chatter about him being good looking, she saw the tractor and remembered what you had said. It could be chatter and it was meant as a compliment.

areyoubeingserviced · 11/01/2017 23:23

My dgm used to say that a woman shouldn't marry a man who is better looking than them.
She believed it was ok for a man to marry a woman who was better looking

AddictedtoLovely · 11/01/2017 23:25

Weird to tell you

Lynnm63 · 11/01/2017 23:40

Just had to google Steve Jones as I'd never heard of him. When you said farmer my first image was of the Wurzels sorry op their song was on the radio the other day and I embarrassed the dc by singing along in the car to Combine Harvester Grin
Frosty very jealous of your Aiden Turner lookalike dh.

FrostyPopThePenguinLord · 11/01/2017 23:41

@Earlgreywithmilk, yes it's quite a striking resemblance when you know who Poldark is...(I didn't until a friend pointed it out so I watched the series and was very weirded out) however my partner is a bit of a wallflower so he is mortified at the same time as being highly amused by the whole situation...

dansmum · 12/01/2017 17:37

Tell your hubby about the weird stalker lady. He'll avoid her even more.

Dilligaf81 · 12/01/2017 17:40

I think she should be labelled 'stalker nutjob' from now on.
My dh is nice looking and a firefighter, i find it really rude that people openly flirt with him and say things like they went to the station open day hoping to get a look or cheering like a pissed up hen party when he comes to school to talk to the kids and show the kit etc Hmm how is that ever right? My dh would feel the same if his mates said it about me (they dont) Grin. Anyway looks fade and i love him for him not his face and i dont get the whole firefighter fantasie tbh, the uniform stinks and they are mostly not easy on the eye (from my experience)

Brocka · 12/01/2017 17:49

Nornal to Google people, but strange to declare to the wife. Wierdo alert.

Next time you see her, just casually mentioned that your husband googled her the other day, then when she asks what he found, stand back look grave and act creepy and just say "I don't know he seemed quite panicked for a bit, I.dunno what he found but there was a lot of shocked gasps coming from him and mumbling about "That's disgusting, she hasn't and How many" etc, and in the end he shut the laptop in a hurry as though he had seen something he couldn't "unsee". He has avoided the subject since and told me not to bother looking at it myself

Then simply stand back.n wat h her panic wondering what's on the net about her.

morningconstitutional2017 · 12/01/2017 17:51

It's impossible to be better looking than Steve Jones!

shovetheholly · 12/01/2017 17:51

Awwww, you sound lovely!

I would take some comfort from the fact she told you! I think it means she's trying to 'share' with you in a wellmeaning female friend-to-female friend kind of way, and not realising how much she's coming over as a crazy stalker instead! I would take it as a sign that she doesn't have designs on your DH, she's just admiring him from afar and complimenting you. Smile

Judging by my friends, everybody googles everybody these days. Wink

I'm sure you're not a 'plain Jane' either. Don't do yourself down!

Daydream007 · 12/01/2017 17:53

She sounds like a stalker, very weird! From the sounds of it you have nothing to worry about, your husband thinks she's weird too! Be flattered that your gorgeous husband married you!

SirChenjin · 12/01/2017 17:53

I suspect it's more a case of a bit of a 'wow he's alright', then bored googling, then lack of brain engagement. I'm sure your husband is safe and that he's not going to have to fight her off in the lower fieldGrin

libbyb · 12/01/2017 17:54

I had a friend who was seriously delish - (although so was she) - but even their GP (female) would ask about him during her personal medical appointments!! Seriously weird!

You sound totally happy and your husband is unaffected - ignore wierdo's or you may encourage them!

libbyb · 12/01/2017 17:55

That should read 'who's husband was'

KissingAFool · 12/01/2017 17:57

OP, please can we see a pic? Then we can decide and mock or drool as appropriate!! If he hawter than Steve Jones..... Welllllll....I must see! Sincerely, stalker Lady no. 2

iwasbornaunicorn · 12/01/2017 17:59

That must be weird to be followed by giggling gaggles of horny women.

It would be great for a fancy dress party though you'd just need a red wig for yourself unless you are a red head?

At least with my hubby once he's finished singing the women generally stop throwing themselves at him....he's safe in lidl Wink

iwasbornaunicorn · 12/01/2017 18:01

That was for FrostyPopThePenguinLord but can't seem to get my phone to play ball!

Niskayuna · 12/01/2017 18:01

Crikey. I've googled a crush or two but I've never considered walking up and telling them/their partners.

Weirdo. If I were going to play armchair psychologist, she might literally be so jealous she wanted to unsettle you or say something nasty to you. She wants you to think "Gosh, that gorgeous sexy stunner of a mum waved at my husband and now she's googled many interesting topics to chat to him about, I am DOOMED, he will fall for her charms!"

"You googled my husband?" might have been a nice frosty conversation killer. If anything it would teach her that certain things aren't acceptable conduct to admit in public.

sparechange · 12/01/2017 18:07

I've always thought DH was good looking, but I had it confirmed when my aunt told me that my very beautiful early 20-something cousin told her she thought he was 'sooooo gorgeous, and wished she was older'

Unfortunately for cousin and DH, she told me this in front of both of them. Cousin went puce, and DH didn't know where to look

TaylorP1234 · 12/01/2017 18:13

I understand that we Google people from time to time however, someone's husband really!!! That's just plain weird!! If get into conversation with her and tell her that I googled her. When she says did you!!! You can say yeah it's weird isn't it and the stuff I found out about you is even more weird. Then walk away leave her worrying what you have read.