To think SAHM's have an easier life?

[workingmummy123]

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

I'm due dc3 in May and dc will be 7 and 9 when the baby's born...so it's been a long time since I had any huge chunk of time off work.

I know being on Maternity leave isn't 'the same' as being a SAHM what with having a job to go back to etc so that's not my point...but at the moment, I can't wait to have a year off work and just be at home, and I like my job. But I literally can't wait...i'm almost as excited about that as I am about the baby itself

I know that by the time the baby's 10 months though, i'll probably be chomping at the bit to have something else to do and regular adult interaction!

Grass is always greener.

I wonder why all SAHM are seen as being "rich" and have the luxury to have hobbies/ pamper sessions/ shopping days. Not the impression I got at all from the SAHM at my kids school.

I'm not planning on going back to work once dc are both school age but I'll try to be that mum who is always helping at school, doing pta stuff etc plus I'm going to find volunteer work doing something like food bank

I couldn't be a SAHM. The kids nearly break me every weekend and I look forward to work on Monday. But I do think about it a lot as my work isn't stable. But it's a very intense time as they are currently 3, 2 and 1. I think I might enjoy it when they are older but expect I would be pretty busy even with them in school, just maybe not so stressful. We bought a smallholding that I don't have the time or energy to populate with animals or plants but maybe if I was home for the kids and they were at school I'd get that up and running which would certainly keep me busy.

Anyway, in response to the OP, I guess SAHMs of school age kids have a relatively easier time if it (compared to someone in a high pressure job or SAHMs of babies and toddlers) but nobody should EVER apologise or be ashamed of having or choosing to have a nice and easy life if that can be afforded by the family.

Of course they have an easier life, housework hardly takes up an entire day, the only deadline they have is a school run and the financial burden and there every need is provided by others.

I did not realise it was even a competition....

Surely it is down to each family to work out how best to manage their lives and act accordingly. As long as people are not choosing to stay at home whilst relying on all benefits under the sun, how does it even affect anybody else?

People do go on about being bored. I am currently sahm to school age children, dh works from home 2 days a week. I volunteer at CAB one day a week. I have plenty to do. A project always on the go. Books, music and Netflix to entertain. I make things, I bake things. I have two children with ASD who need the stability of my presence and will need me longer than their peers. It is not boring. If I worked it would be bloody hard to juggle, so though I would love the extra income and am planning to be in paid employ as some point - I do prefer to have a less stressful life. That is logical imo.

I thank god for the army of SAHM's that help out at our school. I do volunteer, but I don't read every week, go on all the trips etc etc. I don't think SAHP get enough credit.

I have my day 'off' tomorrow with just school age dc, a few activities and a bit of hw to do. I absolutely bloody love it. I'm going to go for a long run, I'm having lunch with a friend and I have a massage booked. Can't wait.
I can never understand the competitive 'my life is shitter than yours' line.

Everybody's circumstances are different whether u are a working mum or a sahm for example different levels of income, different ages of children, some people have more or less children, others have more support and help, there are too many differences in people's lives for you to just put people in two catagories of sahm and working mum and moan about who has the harder time.
Who cares what SAHM's do? Who cares what other people do with their own lives?
Can't stand judgmental posts like this

Kahlua4me

that exactly.

Some posters sound very bitter, I guess it's jealousy.

To be fair, both my husband and I would love to be stay at home parents with a healthy trust fund, and be able to do what we want all day . It must be lovely. I am terribly jealous of people who can afford to do just that.

I would love to be a SAHM, I wouldn't find it hard at all. I dream of all the lovely things I could do if I had a life free of work and some free time.

I'm a single mum though, so I wouldn't be called a SAHM would I? Even if I was completely self-supported, I'd still be something someone wiped off their shoe.

SAHM's have if very easy, but I don't blame them for not wanting to work. Who in their right mind would work if they didn't have to?

I have to say that SAHM actually do offer some tangible pluses to society rather than being a drain
They can (if geography allows) do some of the caring for elderly relatives that would fall to the state if they were working or would mean the elderly person would have to go into care earlier as unable to cope
If everybody was working then nobody would be able to go to the shops/spas/gyms between 9-5 meaning that all the people who work in those places wouldn't be needed to do as many hours!!
There would be no one to take in parcels for everybody on the street meaning that couriers would have to return many times to deliver 1 parcel causing more fuel to be used adding to global warming
More burglaries as everyone would be out at work and nobody to notice that soft can parked outside
All after school activities such as ballet lessons and swimming lessons etc would go bust as kids wouldn't be able to go as both parents would be at work until 6pm
gangs of kids wandering the streets every year on snow day as no SAHM to take them in until other parents finish work
No PTAs as parents to busy to volunteer to run the after school disco, set up the school fete, sell drinks at sports day, meaning less funds for schools meaning all our kids will become delinquents.

Well, yes, my life is easier now I have one child at school at one at nursery for 15 hours of the week, then it was when I had them both at home full time (and I found that much harder than working full time too). I expect to work again when DD starts school in September, but if for whatever reason I'm not my life will be easier still.

I'm kind of pleased to see all the "so what?" replies. Why should life be a competition to see who can be the most tried, stressed and miserable?

Surely you just change your standards of cleaning/cooking/shopping etc? When I wait maternity leave I used to cook fresh meals most days, I would buy meat at the butcher, bread at the local bakery, fruit at the market etc. I'd try new recipes most weeks. Since returning to work it's a lot more online shopping and batch cooking.

Same with cleaning, gardening and any other chores!

I assume that if you're a sahm with school age kids those standards adjust accordingly so the workload doesn't necessarily seem that much less.

Plus I would hope you'd spend some time doing stuff for fun, so there wouldn't be that much more time to do chores!

I don't think of myself as just a sahm, I'm a corporate wife too so I have to be able to entertain at the drop of a hat, organise the company events, do any of the things that would be overlooked if I didn't attend to them

Pre dc I worked 8 hours a day, and did whatever I liked around that, had a cleaner.
That's less hours than a sahm to school age dc.
8-9 breakfast/school run
9-11 housework/admin
11-12 volunteering
3-8 - pick up, activities, dinner, clear up, homework, stories, bath, bed
=9 hours
Less work obviously than a ft working parent, but fairly comparable hours to pre dc work.

Of course they have it easier when their kids are at school - but fuck it - there are loads of people who have an easier life than me and loads who have a shittier life than me. I am a bit though at the ones who put " full time mummy" as their job on Facebook and the like when their youngest child is 14 though!

Why should life be a competition to see who can be the most tried, stressed and miserable?

Precisely!

I work four days a week with two nursery age kids. It's bloody stressful sometimes and I get to work from home half the time! It's great that some people can have calmer lives.

I don't feel guilt about being at home alone for 6 hours a day. DH works a standard 40hpw and does more than a fair share of household chores, cooks, takes the boys to clubs etc.

I work at home from 3-6pm but for not very much money, dh earns less than 40k. Prior to having children I worked full time for 28years. We go without holidays, new car etc in order for me to be at home. However, our lifestyle was discussed and agreed by both of us before we went ahead and did it.

We are both happy.

I loved being a SAHM when mine were young but went back to work when they went to school because I wanted to. An acquaintance of mine doesn't work and has no intention of doing so (youngest is 11) as her DH works and her parents give her money every month. She spends her time lunching and gossiping. She's very happy with her life. A good friend of mine also doesn't work and spends her time volunteering. She's also very happy with her life. We're not all the same.a

Lalunya - you hit the nail on the head there, definitely as I have more time to work on the home so I get around to tackling those jobs that have been left for years, replanting the herb garden, blitzing the garage, painting the side board. Plus my housekeeping standards have gone up from 'that'll do' to Bree Van De Kamp eat your heart out

We are all forgetting the biggest bonus of being a SAHM: you can stay in your pyjamas all day.

they do have it easy after all

I m really looking forward to being a SAHM when the kids are at school. Can't wait. Shopping in a leisurely manner, going to the gym, baking, persuing hobbies. Marvellous.

Depends what you define as easy. My work is at a desk. It's pretty easy, It's less hard work than being home when we had a new baby, 1 year old and 3 year old and no cleaner or outside help (I worked full time then too not surprisingly).

50% of marriages break up and most of the housewives kick themselevs at that point when the husband runs off with a younger woman and pays nothing. It always comes back to haunt you if you don't have an equal marriage and both work. Your children tend to pay the price in the end.