To think SAHM's have an easier life?

[workingmummy123]

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

working my dh dies nothing every evening. Not even bath a child. Or do bedtime. So he has 4 hours free time a day. I in theory get 15 child free hours per week but probably study for 9 of those hours. He definitely gets the better deal.
I do everything included club runs 4 evenings per week.

I have done both. Being at home even with two disabled children was so much easier than being a working mum. No comparison really. I hated being a full time working mum and I just could not do it no hosp appointments after work, no childminders wanted them and on top of that the shopping and school bag packing and all the rest of it. Being at home without them was boring though so part time term time was the way to go. But being a mum is hard whatever you choose so just support each other.

I think that's a fair question toast in my case I think the inordinate amount of tax my husband pays covers my back! The tax from his high salary, from his great job, that of course he couldn't do if I weren't at home taking care of business here......

I think that being a SAHP is certainly not easy, but working full time and managing your children on top - is really genuinely bloody hard work! Perhaps if you can afford someone to cook and do childcare and clean, then not so bad, but having to do your work job AND the job of a SAHP is just agghhhhh. Can you tell I've recently gone back to work? sadface

another thing my eldest son says it comes in handy because i am also free childcare for the grandaughters think i will be stuck forever in the house .

do sometimes think it is really odd that we allow a whole group of people not to pay their way socially

honestly.

Depends on the job.

I've done a few different types of office jobs and some have been a piece of piss. Admin - I'm amazing at it

Would that be easier than SAHM? Yes.

Nursing / teaching / a million other jobs id be crap at would obviously be harder. Because I'd be having to run faster to stay in the same place.

I really don't understand people lumping working parents in together. SAHMs often have broadly similar days but WOHMs could be doing anything and everything. Just impossible to compare.

toast I did 20 years full time work per kids and no doubt will work again. Plus dh pays enough for both of us.

I've done both but with a preschooler, was off work for a few years and went back recently. Can definitely say that being at work is a lot easier than being a SAHM. For me the huge perk of being a SAHM was the lie in (I say for me as my little one will get into bed with me and stay there til 8 am) or if you're hungover, you can hibernate in the house. But ultimately it's full on all of the time. I have quite a pressurised job in finance and I definitely think it's easier than being at home all day.
But I can imagine that a SAHM of school age children must be great. Thinking of quitting my job and going back to it as soon as the kids are in school. Just think of the yoga, the coffee, the shopping, the lunches! I might be wrong but that is what I imagine the life of a SAHM with school age children is all about!

However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores

The difference is you get paid and that is what makes it easier to work outside the home.

ToastByTheCoast very lovely of you to allow me to stay at home . Why thank you very much.

Yes stealth and as a family unit we contribute more. Only one person tax allowance and potentially more likely to be hrt not claiming child benefit.

workingmummy When I said I go back to bed after drop off, that is very rare. I'm just saying it's nice to have the choice, I don't feel guilty because my husband doesn't lift a finger at home I do everything - he literally wouldn't know how to work the washing machine/dishwasher.

His job involves sitting in a chair most of the day so I am actually a lot more active than him, even on the days i have a nap!

Hmm "dcs at school" is a bit of a sliding scale really. IME having a reception age child is only a tiny bit less labour intensive than having a 4 year old at nursery for 15 hours a week. I was lucky enough to be able to choose my dcs nursery hours (so 2 long days, rather than 5 mornings). No one cared if they missed a day, I could go away in term time (a huge thing for me). If their was no nursery and I was feeling knackered we could have a slow start. I find the 9-3 a real tyranny, where ever you are, whatever you are doing you have to stop at 2:45. No more long days out. Then you get them back and they are tired and grumpy and it's too late to do anything anyway and you need to do reading and sometimes they need nit combing or a book day costume or a cake for the bake sale- so not really easier no.

Yeah actually what about the children? Workshy little ragamuffins.

Stealth

I was a SAHM for 14 years. I volunteered at the kids school teaching cooking lessons/games classes. Helped in the lunch room, helped in the library, chaperoned field trips, helped at class parties and extra curricular events. I looked after other people's kids after school for free. Picked them up, dropped them off, fed them....along with making sure my two kids were happy.
I did ALL the household chores, cooking, cleaning, DIY, pay bills, maintaining our garden, helping an elderly neighbour with shopping/trips to hairdressers etc.
I was always busy. Yes I had time to go for a walk/gym when the kids had gone to school 3 days a week but apart from that my whole time was filled.....well maybe a little bit of slobbing with the kids........even at the weekends I was busy when my DH did sod all because obviously he was working much harder than me earning money. Why would I go out to work just to increase my workload if financially it wasn't essential?
When I returned to work I still found myself responsible for the household chores because no other fucker would do them.
In a lot of respects I would have rather have gone to work and gotten a bit of respect and value from other mums who went to work.......and my husband. It's the most thankless job going. Severely under appreciated for the job you do, not only in your own home but in the community.

Agreed stillwish, my youngest is in reception, I get back from the school run at 9.30 and leave again at 2.30 so it's like it's a full day at home doing nothing! He's exhausted after school, there's no way he could cope with after school club etc etc.

I work part time and have school age children, and yes I have an easier time than working full time,

I visit the gym 3 mornings a week, shop when the shops are quiet, my days are full but never frantic.

It depends on lots of things but it would probably break me to be full time because everything would still fall on my shoulders due to time restraints.

I work 2 days and do all the wrap around childcare for my 4. My partner works away two days and then works at the office 6am to 8pm the other days. I do the cleaning, all the fine organisation, the cooking, the school clubs, the DIY, the garden and our finances. I enjoy it.

I'll bite. I'm a SAHM with a child in year 9 and a child in year 6.

There is good and bad. The good is, all the housework, cleaning, shopping etc is done by me so I am available to collect Ds2 from primary school, over see homework etc and after dinner we are all together as a family.

The bad? See above, everything housework wise is left to me. Ironing, folding clothes, cooking, DIY (that I can do) shopping for food, everything. I even put bins out.

The loneliness can be crippling, people who work full time have less available time, people who work part time are rushing around trying to get stuff done in the 2 days they are not in work. Lots of people fall into this category. Finding people to talk to can be difficult.

Just because someone else is a SAHM does not mean you have anything in common. People judge you for being a SAHM so they aren't so friendly.

I listen to a lot of podcasts/watch YouTube/listen to the radio to get me through the drudge. I also volunteer my time so I can speak to adults in the day.

So yes, I have an "easier" life in a lot of respects. I am never bored, I am happy in my own company and over the years have made some great friends. Dh totally respects what I do. He makes my life easy by working, I try to make his life easy by doing everything at home so he has time for the children.

It seems like it should be good, but when the work goes away, the salary also goes away, and the routine, and the friends, and sense of identity.

It's easy to become isolated and develop health problems, which then lead to more isolation.

I speak as an isolated SAHM with a school age child and chronic health problems that prevent me from getting the job that I always intended to go back into when ds started school.

Oh and this

I do sometimes think it is really odd that we allow a whole group of people not to pay their way socially (just because they have partners who can support their personal finances)

It is rather implied in being a SAHM that the other individual is a high earner. It's a fairly well established fact that high earners are net contributors to the tax system and the way the system is at the moment the state needs net contributors.

Given that your tax free allowance is non-transferable, it is surely obvious that one earner on £50k pays more tax than two earners on £25k.

My SAH, facilitating my husbands two income increases in that time which likely wouldn't have happened if I was working makes our household a clear net contributor.

I am far from a drain on the system.

These types of threads always end in an argument!
I would say that a SAHM probably does a few more chores than a WOHM, either through having more time or from not having money to just go out and buy things so makes them jnstead
E.g. Probably cooks more from scratch. I know the days I work have to work late in the office it's a beans on toast or quicknpasta for tea where as when I am home I can spend a couple of hours cooking a lasagne from scratch, make my own garlic bread etc etc. Yes both mums are still cooking but I would bet most working mums do use shortcuts a lot more - pre chopped veg, jar sauces, etc
Maybe makes and sews a costume for school or trawls around the shops for hours looking for a particular thing rather than ordering one off amazon
Probably cleans things like skirting boards a bit more often than the rest of us!

Has time to go to 5 different supermarkets to get the offers and save money on the shopping rather than franctically booking a delivery slot with whichever supermarket can deliver before school run in the morning
Can go to the gym or a run rather than at 5.30am or at 4pm on a Sunday.
Can volunteer to supervise library at school

So it's not that a WOHM doesn't most of the things a SAHM does just that a SAHM can do them in a more cost effective/leisurely manner or can do them more often.

i always think well i saved the tax payer a fortune in special school fees and i save them for care home fees for hubby who is only 50 .saying that i do sometimes feel people think i am a lazy sod on the dole even although i only get 62 per week carers allowance for hubby and he gets his private works pension.