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AIBU?

To think SAHM's have an easier life?

379 replies

workingmummy123 · 11/01/2017 19:50

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

OP posts:
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AddictedtoLovely · 12/01/2017 17:38

Odfod

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zzzzz · 12/01/2017 17:38

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AddictedtoLovely · 12/01/2017 17:42

What is the aim of your post op?Hmm

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Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 17:43

The OP is from the Daily Mail and the aim of her post has already been satisfied- hence the article in the Daily Mail today.

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zzzzz · 12/01/2017 17:44

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arethereanyleftatall · 12/01/2017 17:46

I've noted the name of the 'author' of the article so I know to stay clear in future.

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Daydream007 · 12/01/2017 17:47

Of course SAHM's with children at school have it easier! It's hard being at home with pre-schoolers but being at home with no kids to look after is of course the easy option.

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Butterymuffin · 12/01/2017 17:50

It gives me only a small amount of satisfaction that this sounded like a Daily Mail fishing expedition from the start (which is why I said I wasn't playing).

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Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 17:53

And a completely pointless question.

So " what's easier- being at home alone with no kids to look after, or being at work?"

Duh.

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TurkeyDinosaurs · 12/01/2017 17:54

I can imagine it's lonely at times

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Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 17:57

terkey- depends on your personality and how you fill your day.

I love my own company- but there is plenty to do and other people to meet if you feel so inclined.

I never get lonely being at home alone. It's blissful.

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zzzzz · 12/01/2017 18:06

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Kitsandkids · 12/01/2017 18:12

Today I had a 2 hour nap on the sofa after watching a film on Netflix. It was lovely. I will never try to claim I have it harder than WOHPs because I know I don't.

I do occasionally feel a bit guilty if there are jobs to be done and I go off and have a nap. But, my husband has to get himself to work and he's the only one he has to worry about. I'm the one who always gets the children up, breakfasted, dressed and taken to school etc. Even on his days off (of which he has at least 3 a week) I always do that. I always sort their meals, wash their clothes, do their ironing, take them to extra curricular activities etc. Not hard jobs, but he never has to think about them.

I am not a person who gets bored easily. I am quite happy on the sofa watching TV! But, I used to be quite busy helping to run a club, volunteering in the school twice a week, going to a parents' group, going to a weekly class etc. So there are always things you can do if you want to. I'm now pregnant and have cut right back so am really enjoying the relaxation during the day!

Technically I do work full time as I am a foster carer. But with 2 school aged children there is quite a bit of time to myself. I am very, very fortunate.

When I worked full time, before the children came, I was often too exhausted to do anything when I got home, let alone make children's tea and sort homework and bath time etc. So I respect parents that go out to work all day then have loads of things to do once they get home because personally I'm pretty sure I wouldn't cope very well.

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catwoman0815 · 12/01/2017 18:29

Would it be easy if you were a sahm cat

I was a sahm last year for a few months (redundancy and it took a while to find another role). And yes, my life was so much easier esp as I am also caring for a DC with very complex needs. I would go back to it in a heartbeat. Finances dictate that I work. not choice.

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zzzzz · 12/01/2017 19:23

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catwoman0815 · 12/01/2017 20:12

Generally sahm's are time rich and cash poor and working Mums the opposite

I am certainly not cash rich. I am probably classed as working poor. no holiday in 10 years, no meals/days out. no luxury, no hobbies, nothing.
A lot of working people are still pisspoor because of low pay.

And yes, my life would be easier if I were richer.

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SallyInSweden · 12/01/2017 20:14

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Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 20:18

sally I currently work 100%

What does that mean?

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EnormousTiger · 12/01/2017 20:20

Life is generally easier if you are richer (and healthier too - being ill no matter how well off is awful) and also once children are older. It is much easier now mine are teenagers. I have always worked full time even with 2 week old babies but now they are teenagers it's very easy indeed.

Load of women and men work for all kinds of reasons. It is not just a matter of whether you "need" to. I could stop work but I don't want to.

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Mindtrope · 12/01/2017 20:25

I have never worked full time since my kids were born.
When they were very young I didn't work. When they started school I worked part time which I still do, even though they are teenagers.

I think teens still need support.

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ScuttlbuttHarpy · 12/01/2017 20:28

I'm a stay at home mum with school age children, I had to leave full time work last year after a 6 week long bout of sciatica which still rears its ugly head quite often, the problem is it renders me almost incapable of moving, and can only walk at a snails pace when it does flare up, I then need to wait for physio appointments to relieve me of the pain. I get bored very easily and I'm also unskilled. I've previously worked as a chef and in a factory, which are now both out of the question owing to mobility issues. I get so bored of being a stay at home mum, I wish I could find a job that didn't require heavy lifting and also allow me to move when uncomfortable. I am currently looking into receptionist jobs, but need to brush up on clait and word processing and english skills. It is an easy life being a sahm, but its also boring and repatative, and after all this, I wont have a decent pension.

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MerylPeril · 12/01/2017 20:28

My SIL has teenage kids (one about to leave home) stopped working when her kids were young and refused to go back as its 'impossible to work with children'

I've never heard anyone complain how busy they are and how she is left to do everything and her DH has the easy life (he doesn't at all).
She has a cleaner btw and is the ready prepared food queen.

I bet she would say her life was harder...

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SallyInSweden · 12/01/2017 21:00

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fakenamefornow · 13/01/2017 08:03

Obviously they have it easier (assuming this does not cause poverty) their partners have it easier as well, it's a very neat division of labour that must leave evenings and weekends free for family time instead of filled with chores. I work full-time (little choice) and am jealous.

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Eolian · 13/01/2017 08:20

I don't thing the time rich, cash poor thing is really true. There are rich SAHMs and there are poor SAHMs (e.g. ones who can't afford to go to work because childcare is too expensive to make it worth their while). Equally there are rich WOHMs and poor WOHMs on low earnings.
I work very part time and have school age children. Dh has a full-on job and would not have time to do much at home etc so that works for us. I definitely feel that I have an easier time than him, but he's more ambitious and driven than me and I like my own company and have no desire to go back to work full time. I'll probably ramp up my part time hours when both dc are at secondary.

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