To be fed up of people thinking it is really easy for me to be slim?

[Pomegranatesaremessy]

Yes I am slim but I am fed up of the comments I get around me. People saying it is ok for you, you are slim. You just don't put weight on easily like I do, you can eat what you want etc

Well no I can't eat whatever I want. I am careful and that is the reason I am slim. I rarely eat cakes, unhealthy foods. If I do eat a slice of cake people pressurise me to have more because it doesn't matter apparently.

I feel like I am belittled and I can't know what it is like to be overweight. Well yes I can because I was overweight and lost it all and am determined to keep slim now.

I wouldn't criticise anyone who was overweight to criticise their food choices but people think it is ok to make comments to slim people.

I wish more slim people would be honest about this

It would end up getting seen as a stealth boast. I mentioned it was hard to keep slim and people suggested it was a stealth boast and I should wear a badge saying go me

What if I said "why can't fat people just be honest about why they're fat"? would that be okay? no!

True true true!

How you deal with stress is a good indicator of whether you're likely to be "naturally" fat or thin - do you comfort eat or stress starve. I'm the latter - stress and anxiety have me rejecting food and feeling sick. Other people turn to feel good foods for the endorphins. I don't think there's anything you can do about it, just how you're hard wired.

Been watching "how to lose weight well" on c4 - that programme is NUTS. 2 women starving themselves for a week, lose 6lbs to look good in a dress at a party and presumably drink a load of cocktails and get a burger in the way home? What a complete waste of time.

I think it's difficult for slimmies and fatties to get in each other's mindsets. I try to remind myself with bigger people that their normal is 3, 4, 5,000+ calories a day. Asking someone who has for years eaten at that level to cut down to 1,500 and stay there for life is frankly Herculean. It would be the equivalent of me being told I have to live on 800 calories a day (which I've done 'naturally' during high stress episodes) forever.

Interesting to note that being slimmer doesn't generally change your life. I think a lot of large people think "oh if I were a size 8 everything would be better" but the reality is 99% of the time those who lose a lot of weight and hit targets don't magically then have more fulfilling and wonderful lives. I think that's borne out by the rate of regaining the weight - if life were that much better then the sacrifice of keeping weight down would be worth it?

In my early 20s I was a 6-8 dress size (5'10") and whilst I looked great in clothes, it was at a time when I was deeply miserable, physically and mentally very alone and probably not well. Cigarette for breakfast, 2 bites of a plain ham sarnie for lunch and a plate of whatever supper.

Diet is still crap. Don't really enjoy real food. Also don't enjoy feeling full, so toast and crisps are always more appealing than say a big plate of beef stroganoff with veg and rice for dinner.

icy that programme is extremely dangerous. As well as the risk of gallstones they are reinforcing disordered eating.

icy i hear you.

ppl end up dealing with the same problems as they did when they were overweight but just as a different dress size.

That programme was absolutely ridiculous I agree

Agree 100% with icy about natural responses - my default in times of stress or sadness is for my appetite to switch off. I've never had much of an appetite anyway, since I was a tiny, and so I think the less you eat the less you want to eat. Like icy the thought of a big meal at the end of the day is thoroughly unappetising. I would much prefer to just graze and nibble than sit down to a big meal. I'm just not that interested in food, I find eating tiresome.

I think when some people say they're naturally slim it's not that they can genuinely eat 4000 calories a day and not put on weight. I think it's that eating as much as they like just actually isn't that many calories, as they have naturally smaller appetites.

When I've been at my skinniest I've had both comments from people who think it's OK to comment that I'm lucky to be so slim (no, I've got chronic health issues and am emotionally worn down and am underweight), whilst those who know me can see that I'm gaunt and have jutting bones and know that's a sign that I'm not doing well.

But I've never tried to be slim. I've tried not to be slim. People say how lucky I am not to struggle with my weight. I do, but in the opposite way. I don't know what it's like to struggle with restricting calories, but I know how awful I feel trying to force down food when I don't want to and it's making me feel ill.

DH is one of those people who was a skinny teen and always a "naturally" slim adult. In his 20s, he'd even "forget" to eat.

Nah, in his 40s, he has to keep an eye on his weight and cut back if he doesn't want the swallowed a beachball look. He might have a naturally slender build, but puts weight on, just like anyone else if he eats too much.

As a formerly obese person my response many years ago was to comfort eat.

Now i go off my food when stressed.

Three months ago i had to have my beloved 15 and a half year old cat PTS. This is the hardest thing ive ever had to do . Much harder than losing weight.

My beautiful cat was with me (and DH) through so much. My weight losses/illness. I went off my food for a while.

I still cry about it at night. So something has obviously shifted within my mindset now i dont react by eating.

having heavy periods that are close together helps too. Though obvs i realise im losing liquid here

HelenaDove for your beautiful cat. Losing them is so hard.

The day I realised that most people don't really 'eat whatever they want' was a revelation for me as I had bought into the lie.

The truth was the thin person would eat one biscuit and I'd have the rest of the packet!

I'm own trying to be the one (or no!) biscuit person.

I've been guilty of what's upsetting you now and although I understand now I didn't then so I am sorry!

I don't think i've ever met anyone who didn't think the grass was greener for someone else. I've known people who could eat 3000 calories of really unhealthy sugary junk a day and not gain a pound despite being very slim and desperate to gain weight. OTOH i know others who eat less than recommended 2000 for women/2500 for men and try to keep to a healthy balanced diet but struggle to maintain weight let alone lose it. Everyone has some sort of food envy, be it the ability to eat what you like and keep trim, to be able to gain weight without a major sustained effort, to feel confident to order what you want and not feel judged, to have the ability to control your eating and not binge/purge/starve yourself, and who knows how many others. For some i'm sure it's of the willpower to go vegetarian/vegan or to be able to eat certain foods because you have an allergy. We all have the same organs, but no body works exactly the same. Hopefully one day people will realise that, and instead of thinking "They're so lucky!/It's not fair!" will stop to think everyone else probably has a food/weight battle of some description just like them.

the reality is 99% of the time those who lose a lot of weight and hit targets don't magically then have more fulfilling and wonderful lives - for me, this is like the saying that 'money does not brink hapiness'.

Yes, true, you can be rich and miserable/slim and miserable, but it's one less problem to deal with. At least for me it was a really really big issue to be overweight. Every day started with standing in front of my wardrobe, trying to find something that did not make me look too fat. It was not fun to choose clothes, but an exercise of damage limitation.
My mood went down every time I passed a mirror. I have basically no photos of myself, as I hated to see my puffy face and double chin in them.

It might be shallow and no losing weight didn't make all the other issues go away, but at least I eliminated one issue constantly bringing me down.

I try to remind myself with bigger people that their normal is 3, 4, 5,000+ calories a day.

You see that is a mammoth misunderstanding right there!

As I posted previously, you can go from a normal weight to obese between the ages of, say, 20 and 50 just by overeating 9 calories per day.

For me, at the moment, that would mean eating something like 1600 calories a day instead of the recommended 1590 (or whatever it is).

I am pretty certain I eat well below 2000 calories every single day, with the possible exception of Christmas or special nights out, and yet I am obese.

It's not only the slim who are misunderstood!

Yesterday, for example, I had half a carton of mushroom soup, 1 slice of walnut bread and butter, some lean ham, a jacket potato and home made cauliflower & broccoli cheese. Plus 3 or 4 cups of tea made strong with a dash of semi skimmed milk. That's fairly typical - lunch and dinner, no snacking.

I am pretty certain I eat well below 2000 calories every single day, with the possible exception of Christmas or special nights out, and yet I am obese

People regularly underestimate how much they eat

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3729060/Why-dieters-denial-People-underestimate-eat-50.html

Apologies for daily fail link

the reality is 99% of the time those who lose a lot of weight and hit targets don't magically then have more fulfilling and wonderful lives

Life is sooooooo much better as a slim person though. I used to hate clothes shopping because I was so huge. I never looked good in anything. I was embarrassed at having to buy bigger sizes. I get treated better being slim. People used to give me scornful judgemental looks whenever I ate crisps or chocolates. I have so much more confidence. My self esteem is so much better. My daily life has improved so much

What if I said "why can't fat people just be honest about why they're fat"? would that be okay? no!

YANBU at all!!
I'm 5'11 & 10st. I eat like a horse (think 2 packets of Old El Paso Fajitas for me & himself for tea). I have had people (usually female & middle aged) comment ohh it's so easy for you" when I'm in Costa, or "oh that'll stop when you get older". No. It wont.

I do 20hrs of HEAVY exercise per week, I lift weights, I eat a healthy balanced diet but I burn over 3500 calories a day. If I ate "normally", I'd be emaciated & the busy bodies would still have a comment then wouldn't they.

You don't wear a badge with "smug & slim" on it. Nobody knows anybody's weight or food history

I completely agree that a 'naturally slim' person isn't someone who eats a lot and never puts on weight, it's someone who rarely has the desire to eat a lot. So when they say 'I eat whatever I like' they are being honest, but someone who has a tendency to eat too much and put on weight will interpret it as either 'they must be lying' or 'it's so unfair, why can't I do that?'.

So that's your answer is it Pomegranite?

You don't accept that I know what I'm eating? And you post a Daily Fail link to prove it!

I didn't say I wasn't eating too much for my metabolism (as I clearly am, the evidence is in my size 16 jeans) I was addressing a pp who said large people's normal eating is 3,000, 4,000, 5,000+ calories per day.

Ffs. And you want people to try and see things from your perspective? What a hypocrite.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36988065

Britons under-report calorie intake, study suggests

Non-daily mail link for bibbitybobbityyhat

People do underestimate what they eat.

I am pretty certain I eat well below 2000 calories every single day, with the possible exception of Christmas or special nights out, and yet I am obese

Over eating

That is hypocrisy!

Oh right then, you are a plank. Just like I thought from your first post.

OP why did you start this thread? You sound just as annoying as the people you describe. So at least you're in good company!

OP why did you start this thread? You sound just as annoying as the people you describe. So at least you're in good company!

Lots of support despite annoying people like yourself MitzyLeFrouf !!!!!!

Childish attention seeking by the looks of things.

YANBU. I feel the same - some people assume I can eat whatever the hell I want. I do eat a lot yes but choose healthy meals wherever possible and I exercise a lot too. Calories in, calories out. Tbh I find myself eating a whole lot more whenever I've cycled for 60 miles or after a 10 mile run anyway. Also, I just don't eat crap. I've been following the MFP thread with interest and alarmed at the amount of junk food people are eating whilst 'trying to lose weight'. Jaffa cakes, biscuits, crisps, Coca-cola, Twix, doughnuts, pizza, etc. And then ask themselves why they're not losing weight. And why do this to their bodies?

You're both impressively restrained Mitz and Bib