To be fed up of people thinking it is really easy for me to be slim?

[Pomegranatesaremessy]

Yes I am slim but I am fed up of the comments I get around me. People saying it is ok for you, you are slim. You just don't put weight on easily like I do, you can eat what you want etc

Well no I can't eat whatever I want. I am careful and that is the reason I am slim. I rarely eat cakes, unhealthy foods. If I do eat a slice of cake people pressurise me to have more because it doesn't matter apparently.

I feel like I am belittled and I can't know what it is like to be overweight. Well yes I can because I was overweight and lost it all and am determined to keep slim now.

I wouldn't criticise anyone who was overweight to criticise their food choices but people think it is ok to make comments to slim people.

People used to say that to me when seriously anorexic :') People have no idea.

People confuse 'easy' with 'easier'.

Its like trying to explain white male privilege to a bunch of men who worked very hard to get where they are. I'm not saying it was easy for them, or that they didn't work for it - I am saying it was 'easier' for them, and they didn't have to work as hard as say a black woman.....

So OP YANBU because they are saying you have it easy and you don't. You do probably have it 'easier' than the fatter people around you though. This seems likely because you have succeeded where they continue to fail. Given how society values the obese, it has to be very very hard indeed for someone to loose weight in order for them to put up with the abuse they get.

So, you did (and are doing) a hard thing OP and you deserve the rewards you reap from it....but those who can't lose the weight have an even harder road to travel.

I have noticed the same people won't say anything to the overweight people around me

That's because it's socially acceptable to be slim! It's not socially acceptable to be overweight, so people don't generally comment on fatness!

They wouldn't say it to Dawn French would they?!

I'm always puzzled when people say "I am not naturally slim".

All human beings are naturally slim.

It's being fat that's unnatural.

That's why it's so hard to shift and stay shifted, because it often involves a battle with modern day living.

If you're slim, you are there to be shamed, whatever your particular pathetic excuse is for being slim

I have some sympathy, OP (a couple of my larger friends love to look at me all mock concerned and say "You look gaunt"/"Are you OK?" [head tilt] - I'm one of these much-maligned "effortless" skinnies at times). But basically, don't sweat it. It really is all small stuff (sure there's a pun in there somewhere). Let it roll off you (sure there's a pun there too, but I'm damned if I'm lowering myself to finding it). Generally, no one is trying to be mean - just trying to deal with their own insecurities.

It's not really socially acceptable to comment on anyone's size or how they eat, Pikawhoo. People who are overweight don't get a special pass to make comments about slimmer people.

Congrats on not just losing the weight, but keeping it off. Most of us know how hard that is and it's an ongoing battle.

I think part of the issue is some people with their weight under control feed into the myth that they are just naturally slim, when in reality they eat the right amount for their height and lifestyle, be it through a determined effort or habit but they know they do it.

On the other side I think people who haven't got it under control want to make them selves feel better, that it's more of an effort for them and that's why they haven't succeeded in doing the same. It's like a form of excuse to make themselves feel better. So they say well it's ok for you, it's harder for me. They don't really want to hear you have to work at it.

I'm not naturally slim either and it's a bastard, there is no getting round it, ensuring uou don't over eat, ensuring you get the exercise, I doubt many people are "naturally slim" if they had different lifestyle choices and eating patterns they'd no longer be slim.

Do you remember the feeling of being (unhappily) overweight? It's horrible. And when you have people making statements like this "They love someone to take it out on and your weight is what they are trying to achieve. It happens all the time with me I don't over eat and always leave food on my plate and I count calories. People love to make out it's the hardest thing ever but they have no self control and lie to themselves that they don't eat that much or that bad, it's just jealousy" it can be hard to remember that not all slim people have the same attitude.

Well done on your sustained weight loss and I applaud your efforts (not least because I am trying to change my own diet and reduce my weight and am finding it VERY FECKING DIFFICULT).

I'm slim, I'd probably be half a stone heavier if I ate all the cakes and sweets that are kicking around daily in my office. However, I like being the weight I am, so I practice a bit of discipline and don't head to the kitchen whenever the regular 'cakes in the kitchen' email is sent out. No one bats an eyelid at my choices ! In fact the only comments I receive are complimentary, asking me how I keep my figure. Not once have I ever been criticised. The people you know are weird

Meh. Reasonably slim and just finished a packet of wagon wheels here. It's really not much of an achievement - nor is being fat much of a failure.

Some people are naturally slim though and eat like a horse. I have friends like this

I bet if you had an accurate food diary of what they eat they wouldn't be over their calorie allowances.

Some people "eat loads" at lunch time or meals out, but don't pick all evening or "drink their calories" like people who eat like rabbits at lunch time.

Don't worry OP. It's just idiots commenting. Rest assured that the kind of person who goes on about you having cake is the kind of person that will make comments about an overweight person and cake behind their back!

If you weigh 9 stone at 20 years old and overeat by 9.5 calories per day you will end up 11 stone 2 at 50 years old.

Being overweight is not always a case of being greedy or lazy.

Yes, by saying some people are "just naturally slim" (and they are not) they tell themselves that for THEM it is hard to be slim, but for You it isn't.

When really, being slim is about lots of things yo fancied but did not eat. (I like donuts and sausage rolls, but never eat them)

Sometimes when people say :" how do you say slim" I think "Lots of donuts I did not eat"

But then you sound preachy. So instead you just say something about a fast metabolism as that lets the questioner off the hook.

When people say it's easy for you to stay slim, what they are really saying is that it is HARD for them to get slim.

And it IS hard

All slim people I know are deep down quite careful about food intake.

I find weight obsession really dull naughty cakes or healthy choices i wish women would just stop talking about weight and food then we can all rub along together and talk about something/anything else

I was very slim (BMI 19) before I got pregnant, but mainly because I was training for races and things. When people used to bring cakes into the office or whatever and I didn't have any I would get loads of 'but you can eat whatever you want because you're so slim'. No, I am slim because I dont eat whatever I want!

I do know what you mean and people often go on about it, especially if you have lost a lot of weight. Somehow it seems acceptable to comment on slimness to the slim person's face, in a way that would be deemed rude if we were talking about somebody oveweight.

Quite, MrsJayy.

I like a nice chat about the weather .

YANBU, thin comments are squalling as hurtful as fat ones

To be honest, the people I see the most are the mums at school who are (mostly) around late 20s/30 and the majority are slim. As an obese mid-40s frump of a mum, I tend to assume that none of them have every been to the dark side of 10 stone, but I've only know them for the 4 years I've been doing the school run.

I could be wrong, I'm not going to start asking them though, I'll just keep envying their slimness (whether it's natural or hard-fought), and being the 'old fat funny one'.

Equally not squalling!

I think a lot more people criticise the food choices of overweight people than slim people! Do you really believe it's a one-way street here??

I think the difference is, when people criticise overweight people it’s generally either a) a stranger (someone you saw on the bus or a celebrity) or b) as a collective – ie “those fat people who can’t control what they eat” etc. It’s very rarely a personal attack. How often do you hear somebody actually say to another person that they know “you need to eat less, you are overweight”? almost never, I’m guessing. It’s not socially acceptable in most polite circles and if someone said it in a work environment it would probably be a cause for disciplinary action. Yet for some reason, people feel comfortable making personal remarks when someone is slim – “You need to eat more, you’re skinny!” never draws anywhere near the same level of horror as calling someone fat would.

Yeah it is blowing a hoolie here

It's ALL incredibly tedious Yo. The colleagues sound unbearable but OPs incredibly detailed account also makes me want to pluck bits of myself off.

Who cares what the tedious people think? Why hang around to listen to their comments on your food?

Ha. That cake emoji just added itself