Page 5 | To set up fake fb account

WynterBlossom · 2017-01-09T19:33:54+00:00

To message my exes new gf to advise her I am pregnant as I have reasons to believe he hasn't told her...realistically I know it's not my business whether she knows or not as she will likely find out once the baby arrives, however, I feel if she knows now & the circumstances...then she can get her head around it just in case he decides he wants contact with our son as I'd like to meet her too! To message ex when the baby is here??

Underthemoonlight · 09/01/2017 21:02

I remember your other threads it
Seems youhad a short lived fraught relationship with this man and fell pregnant quickly. Police have been involved after you emailed his boss and some altercation with him in his mothers house, all this going on I think messaging the new girl will only cause more stress and unnecessary drama. I think it would be wise to avoid contact with him until the baby is born.

DearMrDilkington · 09/01/2017 21:05

moon oh is this the same poster? I thought we all got through to her last time..

Underthemoonlight · 09/01/2017 21:06

Yes I believe it is

Helloitsme87 · 09/01/2017 21:07

OP I'm so sorry you have had to put up with some of these comments
I had pre natal depression and it's the pits. The worst.
Even without that, pregnancy alone is hard enough. And facing it without the father who seems to be set on erasing you out of his life is awful.
I'm so sorry you feel like this.
Work for a long as you can and go on maternity. Enjoy the peace and quiet and look forward to your new arrival. There are things out there to help single mums and you should also contact csa to get them to get your ex pay what he should.
I understand why you want to contact this new girlf. You need the world to know what an arse he is and how devastated you are that he wants nothing to do with you and your son. I couldn't have done my pregnancy alone so I do admire you. For now just focus on getting your name on a council property so you have somewhere to live for the foreseeable future and contact csa. Focus on you and your son and no one else has to matter. It may not seem like it now but things will improve. You won't feel this alone forever

hoddtastic · 09/01/2017 21:12

stop contacting him, his family, his work, his girlfriend- have your baby. He's made it quite clear he wants nothing to do with you, don't 'threaten' to move away, harsh though it is he doesn't give a monkeys, so you need to make a life for you and your kid and leave him out of it. CSA him up but you don't have any trump cards, and this obsessing is not helping you or anyone else.

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 09/01/2017 21:13

Id do it because if i was her id wanna know but dont use a fake profile

Original poster

WynterBlossom · 09/01/2017 21:15

But contacting his girlfriend is not necessary contact about the baby. You agreed no contact with the police. So if he wanted to reopen the case he could.

There isn't a case & never was a case.

OP posts:

PurpleMinionMummy · 09/01/2017 21:16

If you're pregnant he's clearly not been with his gf very long. There's no reason to even assume she'll be around long enough to ever meet your baby.

If SS have been called due to his behaviour I'm surprised you even want him.around your baby.

Leave well alone and concentrate on yourself and baby.

Original poster

WynterBlossom · 09/01/2017 21:18

moon oh is this the same poster? I thought we all got through to her last time..

Apologies!! Let me just pull myself together! Silly me! All fixed now.

Wow!! Look at that! My antenatal depression has miraculously disappeared!
My mental health has HUGELY improved.

Why didn't anyone tell me I could just suck it all up & get on with it....who bloody knew!!

OP posts:

watchoutformybutt · 09/01/2017 21:20

The baby isn't even here yet. Christ. I think the fact he has blocked you and called the police on you should help you gauge his feelings. Back off. Carry on doing what you're doing to take care of yourself and the baby and let him or his family contact you when baby arrives if they want contact. Don't seek the drama when you already have enough going on, seriously. If I was his girlfriend and you started messaging me and I knew the police had been involved before probably call the police again because I'd be freaked out!

Cakeycakecake · 09/01/2017 21:21

My ex is in a relationship. His gf has met our son. That's his lookout. I trust that he as a father will ensure no harm comes to our child as he does when I am caring for him.
He doesn't try to restrict who I introduce our son to and I extend him the same courtesy.
She must be nice anyway, he's happy.

Op I obviously don't know you from Adam but I'd say messaging your exes new gf is a bad move. Full stop. You won't become friends with her, she believes his side of the story. You'll more likely be poking the bear that is your ex.
You don't need him to be involved until your baby is born. My ex was good enough to leave me to be pregnant until I was 34weeks. We met, discussed a plan going forward and have been good to one another since. Your pregnancy is about you. Not him, his new lady. You and the life inside you. And until you give birth, he won't get how real it all is

Original poster

WynterBlossom · 09/01/2017 21:22

OP I'm so sorry you have had to put up with some of these comments
I had pre natal depression and it's the pits. The worst.
Even without that, pregnancy alone is hard enough. And facing it without the father who seems to be set on erasing you out of his life is awful.
I'm so sorry you feel like this.
Work for a long as you can and go on maternity. Enjoy the peace and quiet and look forward to your new arrival. There are things out there to help single mums and you should also contact csa to get them to get your ex pay what he should.
I understand why you want to contact this new girlf. You need the world to know what an arse he is and how devastated you are that he wants nothing to do with you and your son. I couldn't have done my pregnancy alone so I do admire you. For now just focus on getting your name on a council property so you have somewhere to live for the foreseeable future and contact csa. Focus on you and your son and no one else has to matter. It may not seem like it now but things will improve. You won't feel this alone forever

This, is valued advice! This up here is actually constructive instead of telling me to just simply forget about him!

It's like telling someone who earned £150,000 a year & now lost their job to just accept it & learn to live on £292 a month! It's a life change.....I'm sorry, I didn't make a contingency plan just in case my bf left me & id be left on my own....apologies for going through a tough time right now.

OP posts:

Whosthemummynow · 09/01/2017 21:23

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Underthemoonlight · 09/01/2017 21:23

OP you are entitled to be upset and hurt I've been in your position I was left with my DS who was one year old. Life does get better I had a hard year I lost a lot of weight was depressed but I got myself a job and focused on the positives aspects of my life my friends and family. I meantioned your previous behaviour as I don't think your in the right frame of mind at the moment it's difficult being pregnant let alone issues with the ex who's the father but you have nothing to gain contacting his GF. I fear this will only give him an excuse to get the police involved. You don't need any stress when your pregnant. Have you had counselling?

BillSykesDog · 09/01/2017 21:23

There isn't a case & never was a case.

There will be if you keep contacting him! I'm not aware of the other posts about a fight at his mother's and you contacting his boss, but what you are doing is potentially stalking. The only person you are hurting by doing this is yourself. It's just destructive and you need to move to a place where you are thinking positively about your own and your baby's future rather than obsessing about this, it's not healthy for you or your baby and you need to talk to a medical professional about this.

PurpleMinionMummy · 09/01/2017 21:24

Where does that end rogue? When the LL refuses a gas safety check and a tennant dies, maybe it's their own fault for not booking and paying it for themselves?

PurpleMinionMummy · 09/01/2017 21:24

Oops wrong thread!

toptoe · 09/01/2017 21:29

This is out of your control. How he behaves, who he tells about the baby, is all out of your control. Yes you could tell her pretending to be someone else but they'll know it's you - who else would it be. And you would be buying into whatever story he has told her about you.

He has made a decision and you can't force him to see his child, or if he does you can't really do much about forging a relationship with whoever he is with then.

I can understand how horrible this is for you, knowing he is denying the existence of your lovely, growing baby. But some people cope by sticking their head in the sand. I would think that if contact began, it would be a couple of years down the line if ever. That does not mean you or your baby are any less valuable or worthy of love. It just means he can't cope.

If you have the ability to move nearer people who are good and supportive to you, move. Later on in your pregnancy and then when you have little one, you'll want all the support you can get from good, kind people. If you want to leave a forwarding address for him so he can track you then do so. These days it's not that hard to find someone via social media etc anyway.

Once the baby is born he should pay child maintenance contact or not, so go along to Citizens Advice Bureau sooner rather than later and look at what you need to do to get financial support, so you can plan ahead and get the ball rolling.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 09/01/2017 21:32

You don't know that he hasn't told her. You sound childish by wanting to set up a fake profile. Either tell her as yourself of leave well alone

Gooseberryfools · 09/01/2017 21:33

Personally I'd leave it till just after the birth and then just post a picture of the baby to him, his parents, his girlfriend. No name or weight or sex. They can ask for details. The thing is that although your ex and his girlfriend are dating now, they mightn't be in 4 months. The whole relationship might just be a flash in the pan.

Miserylovescompany2 · 09/01/2017 21:34

Excellent advice toptoe

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/01/2017 21:35

OP I really don't think aibu is the right place for your right now. The fact is, you a are being unreasonable but can't accept that I suspect for a number of reasons. You're not going to get the support you need on this section of mumsnet.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/01/2017 21:36

And it is support you need, not people to blindly tell you a bad idea is a good idea.

Original poster

WynterBlossom · 09/01/2017 21:36

If I spend the next 13 weeks moving on with my life & planning the arrival of my baby without any contact with him now or in the future.....I will say right now, he will NOT be getting in contact when he decides too!

I have changed my number
Came off fb
& now potentially moving....I will make sure he can't find me now or in the future.

He will pay CMS but won't know where either of us are.

He either contacts me now & let's me know wtf is going on when our son arrives or! He fucks off and leaves both of us alone for good.

I'm not letting him have the control or call the shots anymore.

I'm in a bad place right now, I'm struggling....however given time I'm sure il get over it & il say now....I certainly won't be able to cope mentally seeing or hearing from him for the rest of my life!

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Milklollies · 09/01/2017 21:36

You're in no position to care for a child if you can't even act like an adult. I pity you but I think you want to have this baby as way to punishment. Are you ready for a child because he may never want to be part of your babies life? Do you understand that my concern is for your unborn baby? Many posters on here will further support the argument that child maintanence is hard to enforce if he doesn't have any money. Benefits will be cut further so if you plan to depend on them then understand that you might be in a lot more difficulty than you can imagine. I get the impression that you are attempting to trap him and punish him but he's not into you and doesn't want any contact. You deserve a man that can respect you and love you. Why go after a man that can offer you neither?