To set up fake fb account

[WynterBlossom]

To message my exes new gf to advise her I am pregnant as I have reasons to believe he hasn't told her...realistically I know it's not my business whether she knows or not as she will likely find out once the baby arrives, however, I feel if she knows now & the circumstances...then she can get her head around it just in case he decides he wants contact with our son as I'd like to meet her too!

To message ex when the baby is here??

Op do you work? Are you near family? What support network are you moving away from and where to?

None of this is...nothing is good for me or the baby...the worry & stress I have to live with each & every single day...struggling on pretending I'm okay at work...pushing my maternity back so I don't have to face being at home alone all day.
Being told il have to find somewhere else to live when my son is 6 months old, not going to be able to afford the bills wherever I move as where I live it's all bills included.

My life is pretty shit right now....however like I usually do, il paint a smile on my face act like nothing has changed &! Continue to embarrass myself on here.

Thanks all

OP what were you hoping to get from this thread?

Wynter I have read some of your other threads and posted I think. You have had a lot of support and advice. I think it's time to now get rl help though. You clearly are floundering and an online forum can only do so much.

Forget about your ex, he sounds charming. I get you want to give her the heads up but there's no way to do it without looking like psycho stalker.

If you were on speaking terms with his family and they don't know, I'd write them a letter with details how to get in contact with you if they would like to see their grandchild

If you are at the point with your ex where he is contacting the police accusing you of harassment you need to leave well alone. Aside from you probably not wanting to spend your weeks and months ahead with a police case hanging over you, have you thought about what you are risking here? It really does sound as though you are behaving in an unhinged way. Have you thought about what you and your child might have to go through if your ex starts to question your stability and how that affects your ability to parent? If he already has the police involved social services involvement is very much a distinct possibility.

For the sake of your child step back and leave this man alone. He is the father of your child but that does not mean he has to have anything to do with you beyond the minimum of contact needed for joint parenting. So really while you are still pregnant he doesn't have to have any contact with you at all beyond that relating to your health and that of your unborn child.

He's not doing anything wrong by refusing to engage with you. You seem to think he will want contact so presumably he is not abandoning his child, he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. This is obviously heartbreaking and hurtful but he does have every right to do it. Trying to force him to engage will do you no good.

Step back and concentrate on your baby and leave this alone for your own sake.

Hello OP, I'd concentrate on you and your unborn child right now. Stress, isn't going to do either of you any good.

After your baby is born, start the process of claiming child maintenance. He doesn't even have to be on the birth certificate for you to claim.

Get your ducks in a row, don't get preoccupied with what he is or isn't doing at this stage.

Well at least I don't name change each time I post....I don't hide away.

I've attempted real life support, it's just the usual "put your tablets up, see your gp".

I'm going through a very shit time in my life......it gets worse before it gets better.

When we split I called the police due to his behaviour....he called them a week later.....the police for the sake of my stress levels, advised we don't contact each other, the police agreed it wasn't harassment as it was about our baby.

FYI, SS have already been informed because of his behaviour.

I only seem "unhinged" because I'm airing my THOUGHTS on here.

But the actual reality is this.

I last heard from him or tried to make contact with him on 25th November 2016.....I have sent 1 text to his sister since asking if she'd like to have contact.

Other than that, in the last 7 weeks, I have not contacted him at all.

So really thinking about it, I'm not really "acting" unhinged purely because I've not ACTUALLY acted on anything.

I don't think AIBU is the place for this Op. Forget them for now and concentrate on your situation. You'll get finincial help once the baby is born. Child benefit, child tax credit, 2 bed housing benefit allowance etc. And of course put in a claim for CM through CMS. You're causing yourself extra stress thinking about them. Unfortunately you can't force someone to be an involved parent if they don't want to. Even if your plan worked and he did it to look good he'd quite likely drop contact when the relationship ends and that would be harder on your child. If he wants to be involved he knows where you are. Focus on looking into your finances/what you may be entitled to so you can work out where you can afford to live. I'd seriously advise against moving away from your support network, you're going to need it.

Don't bother trying this, for the simple reason that unless she accepts a friend request from this new profile you set up (and why would she), she won't get any messages you send her - they'd just go to the "other" messages folder on FB which hardly anyone even knows about nevermind checks.

Basically, you can't contact her even if you wanted to, so put it out of your mind

I want an amicable mutual arrangement or!!

OP it sounds like absolute crap that he is ignoring responsibilities, but you havent spoken for 8 weeks and he has blocked you yet you want an amicable arrangement and to meet the girlfriend??

I think you should be making sure you start paperwork to get financial support from him....

You need to be concentrating on getting more support in place in dealing with your mental health, this way of going on is no good for you and is certainly not going to be any good for taking care of a baby when it arrives.

Your ex doesn't need to be in contact with you right now, and it's a good thing he isn't given the state of your mental health (based on what you've been posting here).

Contact your midwife and seek additional support before this entire situation causes you real problems - such as a criminal record and SS intervention for worry about the welfare of your baby.

You need to be concentrating on getting more support in place in dealing with your mental health, this way of going on is no good for you and is certainly not going to be any good for taking care of a baby when it arrives.

Your ex doesn't need to be in contact with you right now, and it's a good thing he isn't given the state of your mental health (based on what you've been posting here).

Contact your midwife and seek additional support before this entire situation causes you real problems - such as a criminal record and SS intervention for worry about the welfare of your baby.

Apologies for double post. Internet is going mad.

I'm suffering with antenatal depression....on top of this my ex left me...I apologise for airing my thoughts!

Stop bringing up a fucking criminal record! I don't have one & I won't get one.

My baby is not a concern, SS have t got involved because they aren't worried about my baby's safety!

I talk about wanting to contact my exes gf & people start getting nasty & talking about SS & police, it's fucking horrible!

A friend of mine threatened her own baby with a razor & then tried to kill herself, what did the police & SS do?? Nothing.

I talk about messaging my exes gf & suddenly the police & SS would be hugely interested in me! It's all fucking bullshit!

Have your opinion on this, it's what it's here for....stop trying to "scare" me with SS & police, I'm struggling & deciding to come on here to talk about how I feel & what I've been thinking about & rather than people thinking "fair enough, she's struggling but she's choosing to come on here for advice before she does anything", I'm treated like a psychiatric patient.

I get up each day & go to work, I do extra hours.
I pay my bills on time each month.
I visit family & friends regularly.
I am on a healthy eating plan for the sake of my baby.
I am getting things up together for my sons arrival.

I am also attending CBT, Counselling & researching potential routes....I am doing all the right things.

In the meantime, I come on here for advice for the things I think about.

I don't require a slating.

I wouldn't do it. She will find out soon enough. Unless she agrees, you won't meet her even if he has contact with your baby. It is after all his baby, too. Difficult as that is, you have no right to meet her unless you have reason to believe she would be harmful to the baby.

If I remember rightly, wasn't you the poster who asked can they get maintanece but he's not to have anything to do with the child?

OP you asked whether it would be unreasonable to contact your ex boyfriends new girlfriend. The answer is yes it would be really unreasonable and along with the other stuff in your previous threads, it would be a really terrible idea for you to do this.

At least until the baby arrives, you need to act like he has fallen off the face of the earth and you need to carry on looking after yourself.

How has he blocked you on Facebook when you don't have a Facebook account?

You need to concentrate on the here and now. Not about what might happen in however many months time. He might not want any involvement or contact with his child? Some men don't. You can't force him to either.

Take a step back, then start working towards what you can change. Sort the things which are in your realm of control.

Let him continue to be an arse. Be the better person here.

Cross the bridge when you come to it. If you do it now it looks like you're doing it to cause trouble. If and when he decides to see your son you can ask at that point to meet his G/f. She might be dumped by then anyway so stop worrying.

If he doesn't want to be involved with the baby then leave him. It's his choice, nothing you or his new girlfriend do or say will change that.

Focus on yourself and your baby. If he gets in contact then rethink the situation, but he most likely won't.

But contacting his girlfriend is not necessary contact about the baby. You agreed no contact with the police. So if he wanted to reopen the case he could.

I'm not being horrible, you are playing a really dangerous game here which could have repercussions for you. And it won't actually do you any good! You will achieve nothing by doing this.

As far as his girlfriend goes, I remember in a previous thread you said you had sent him messages saying that he wasn't the father. So he doesn't actually know for certain that he is. If you tell her he can quite truthfully say that he hasn't told her because he doesn't even know that the baby is his! He can even show her the messages!

Please, please don't do this. In the long run it's going to do far more harm than good. Instead whoever is treating you for your antenatal depression and discuss these feelings with them. It's totally understandable that you are feeling hurt and angry but doing things like this is going to be cutting off your nose to spite your face.