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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to courier.

433 replies

anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 16:21

Amazon courier just asked to use the loo. I was alone in the house with a baby. I said no and immediately dropped a note to Amazon to say I wasn't impressed that it made me feel uncomfortable.

I feel a bit bad now...remind me that I did the right thing please?!

OP posts:
joangray38 · 08/01/2017 17:29

Fine to say no but why complain to Amazon ? Poor guy may could lose his job - they are not known to be great employers, we have had 3 different deliverers since Nov - all have been sacked for spurious complaints like yours

gamerchick · 08/01/2017 17:29

I think when you're dying for a piss to the point of breaking the rules that sort of thinking goes out of the window.

You don't report someone for that.

wanderings · 08/01/2017 17:30

Although I don't agree with contacting Amazon about it, I think you are being treated very harshly on here, OP. If you had posted saying that you'd had money stolen because you let someone in to use the loo, the victim blamers would be pouncing on you with "you should have said no". My parents drummed certain messages into me: "don't answer the door, don't talk to strangers, keep yourself safe, and complain complain complain about any bad service, so you don't get ripped off". I might easily have done the same thing as a young adult. It was only later having worked in several jobs that I saw the bigger picture about who gets the blame with complaints.

purplefizz26 · 08/01/2017 17:30

You had every right to say no, though I would have said yes.

Complaining was mean and pointless. He asked to use the loo, he might have been really desperate for a wee, you said no, he accepted and left with no arguments and you complained HmmConfused

Aeroflotgirl · 08/01/2017 17:31

Exactly, op you might have cost him is job, well done! I really feel for them, but I would have said no if I was on my own and told them, that there is a Macdonalds or Supermarket within half a mile, and give them directions to it. They should not have to wee in bottles or poo in bags, that is totally undignified, Amazon need pulling up on that.

Boundaries · 08/01/2017 17:31

joan - what exactly were the "spurious complaints"?

MrsRhubarb · 08/01/2017 17:31

I wouldn't have let him in. You're never too far away from a supermarket or a drive thru that has a loo. I always seem to get asked this by charity workers. I direct them to Waitrose, only a few minutes walk.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2017 17:35

I've asked them to disregard my email now but if conditons are really that bad doesn't highlighting how these conditions are impacting customers make sense?

pasturesgreen · 08/01/2017 17:35

You were perfectly reasonable to say no. I would have let him, and I live alone, but that's not the point. Everyone feels differently.

I can hardly get my head round why you felt the need to complain, though. You must have too much time on your hands. Amazon are notoriously bad employers, I feel for the poor driver.

krustykittens · 08/01/2017 17:37

I wouldn't let a total stranger into my home either and all those people saying OP knew he was an amazon driver, as he was delivering to her, read the thread - the parcel was for a neighbour. The Amazon drivers who have delivered to me have had un-marked white vans. Anyone could turn up with a parcel and say it was for a neighbour before asking for access to the house. Easy enough to re-use an Amazon parcel of their own if they had ill intent. These types of attacks are few and far between, thank goodness, but that is not much consolation to victims of such random attacks. OP you were right to say no, although I would have held off on a formal complaint as the man wasn't threatening or rude.

Haffdonga · 08/01/2017 17:38

YANBU to say no. YABU to complain about him to his employer (as you've acknowledged).

But I'm really interested to know what exactly were the grounds of your complaint? Were you upset that he mentioned bodily functions at all to a customer? (Surely a delivery person must be allowed to admit they urinate somewhere. Better that than catching them weeing behind a tree as I did our local postie last week). Were you upset that he asked youin particular, because you were a woman on your own? (Would it have been OK if you had been with other people?) Or were you upset that he didn't have access to facilities on his route just for delivery people (in which case it's Amazon you should complain about, not him).

Genuinely I'd love to know what were the grounds of your complaint and what you felt this chap had done wrong.

Original poster
anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 17:39

Oh bluntness you are just being silly. You don't think that they could offer some guidance of better choices for when they need to go, or planning in advance?

if they really are under so much pressure not to take a break they have my sympathy but customers houses aren't the solution.

OP posts:
Clandestino · 08/01/2017 17:40

Amazon likes the easy come easy go when it comes to employees or associates.
You had a full right to say no. Complaining was very spiteful, meaningless and uncalled for. They don't care about their employees. You could really get him fired for merely needing a wee.

krustykittens · 08/01/2017 17:42

What irony! As I typed that above message, there was knock on the door and it was an Amazon driver, still working at 5.40pm on a Sunday to make less than minimum wage! I do feel very sorry for them and their horrible working conditions, but it's pitch black and I am in the house on my own - I wouldn't have let him in for a pee!

Mrsglitterfairy · 08/01/2017 17:43

I've just realised something, how on earth was the delivery driver to know you were on your own with a baby? For all he knew there was a 6'5 huge husband in the other room... Still think you were well within your rights to say know but complaining was harsh and uncalled for

exLtEveDallas · 08/01/2017 17:43

I have a friend who was an Amazon courier.

A customer made a complaint about him knocking over her plant pot when delivering a parcel (He did. It was pitch black, no outdoor lights. He walked into the pot going back to his car. Didn't break it, and reset it back upright).

Customer said he'd broken it - he hadn't but his bosses believed the customer.

He lost his job.

I really hope this poor driver doesn't.

expatinscotland · 08/01/2017 17:44

'Oh bluntness you are just being silly. You don't think that they could offer some guidance of better choices for when they need to go, or planning in advance?'

No, I don't, because you're still not getting it! They are self-employed by subcontractors. They don't get 'training' and 'guidance' and all that shit. They get told to deliver X no. of parcels by X time, how can they plan in advance'? Dear god. How are there people who think like this?

Original poster
anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 17:44

Haffdonga I felt they should be aware their representative was asking for access to a customers homes.

I don't think it's hard to understand how that could make someone feel uncomfortable for one, and for another he might be making a habit of it.

On the other end of the scale he may not work for them or other issues may have occurred on his route.

I gave an accurate account which included that he was polite and made no issue so it was just a case of making them aware

OP posts:
SomethingLikeFlying · 08/01/2017 17:46

If it was on a day where my house is clean and tidy then I'd probably say yes. Otherwise in order to avoid the embarrassment I would say no.

Emailing Amazon was quite OTT.

riceuten · 08/01/2017 17:47

This is something intensely personal, but I would have let them myself. I did see a thread on another forum from a hysterical mum who knocked on a strangers door to request her daughter to use the loo there, and was appalled the householder said no. Swings both ways.

Mrskeats · 08/01/2017 17:48

You reported him to Amazon!!!
That's such a mean thing to do. I'm totally shocked.

Original poster
anannoyinglylongusername · 08/01/2017 17:48

OK so an interesting update! just nipped thr parcel to the neighbour it was for. The note left by their amazon courier was timed an hour before he knocked on my door and said the parcel was left behind their gate....

OP posts:
RealHouswifeofBury · 08/01/2017 17:50

Of course it was

Ehlana · 08/01/2017 17:50

YANBU to refuse him access.

YABVVVU to complain though. Assuming he was polite throughout, why the fuck would you complain? Poor guy could lose his job, Amazon give zero fucks.

Mrskeats · 08/01/2017 17:50

He probably called back.
This is an unbelievable storm in a teacup.