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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel the party?

276 replies

FudgeBiscuits · 06/01/2017 16:56

Kind of a WWYD, kind of a WIBU.

My DD turns 4 in little over a week and I've had a party booked at a local play centre since November (for the day before her birthday). No deposit has been but down. But it's all sorted and people have RSPV'd for the party.

She's been really well behaved and over the last week she's been asking to go horse riding for her birthday.

Originally she wanted a party with her 10 or so of her nursery friends (that's when I booked the party).

I've asked her if she wants to have a party too, she says no, just horse riding.

She also wants to go to the play centre the day of her birthday with her 2 best friends.

WIBU to cancel the party? And just take her horse riding and just organise her friends to meet us at the play centre for the party?

OP posts:
BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 06/01/2017 17:01

So the 10 kids who've RSVPd will now be uninvited and it will just be her 2 best friends at the play centre? I wouldn't do that! Seems very rude.

esiotrot2015 · 06/01/2017 17:02

No that would be really rude

esiotrot2015 · 06/01/2017 17:02

She can go horse riding another time

Shoxfordian · 06/01/2017 17:03

Yeah you should have the party and take her riding another time. Don't let a 4 year old tell you what to do!

rollonthesummer · 06/01/2017 17:03

Horribly rude!!

Upanddownroundandround · 06/01/2017 17:03

Yes, YWBU. VU. The children that you have invited would be looking forward to the party.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 06/01/2017 17:03

No I don't think you can cancel the party.

Wolfiefan · 06/01/2017 17:03

I agree that would be really rude. Kids will be looking forward to the party and parents may have brought presents already. Explain to your child that you have booked the party that was originally requested. Horse ride another time.

Ginmakesitallok · 06/01/2017 17:04

You would most definitely be unreasonable! You can't cancel a party which 10 kids will be looking forward to, have bought presents for etc? How selfish!@

PotteringAlong · 06/01/2017 17:04

Yes you would be completely unreasonable!

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 06/01/2017 17:04

Plus those who have their invited rescinded might worry that they've fallen out of favour. Too much potential for hurt feelings.

Beeziekn33ze · 06/01/2017 17:04

If people have rsvped I think you should honour this and have the party. Small children change their minds all the time but I don't think you should let her, at 3, change imminent arrangements. Other children will feel let down if you cancel now.
Let her go riding another time. Arrange a trip to the playcentre with her 2 friends another weekend as an treat.

ShowMeTheElf · 06/01/2017 17:04

No you can't cancel a party for which 10 families have made arrangements because your 4yo has changed their mind. If she wants to go horse riding do that in the morning and do the party in the afternoon.

ladygrinnings0ul · 06/01/2017 17:04

Totally agree with the not letting a 4 year old dictate ! If you have sent invites out you will you look like a right flake if you cancel now .

early30smum · 06/01/2017 17:05

I wouldn't cancel. I'd explain to DD that her friends are looking forward to coming and that it would be a shame to upset them. I think even at 4 they need to understand they can't just change their mind if something has been booked. I also think (not that it matters but what people think but I know what school gates can be like!) that it might really annoy/upset the parents if you cancel- plus some will have already bought a gift etc.

I would explain to your daughter that the party can't be cancelled, but that as she has been so well behaved she can go horse riding as a special treat for her birthday.

AmeliaJack · 06/01/2017 17:05

Of course not! That would be incredibly rude.

Apart from being terrible etiquette the guests will already have bought presents.

Why did you ask her? She's 4! You just gently steer her back in the direction of the party and talk about how exciting it will be.

ExitPursuedBySantaSpartacus · 06/01/2017 17:06

Are you serioius?

It would be terribly rude to cancel the party.

bumsexatthebingo · 06/01/2017 17:07

Erm what everyone else said. How would your dd feel if she was invited and then uninvited to a party??? Can't believe you're seriously considering it tbh x

wowfudge · 06/01/2017 17:07

She's 4 - she does what you tell her, not the other way round. If you haven't got her a present yet, could you make that horse riding?

Floggingmolly · 06/01/2017 17:07

Why did you ask her did she still want to have the party when people have already said they're coming?? Would you really tell them it's cancelled on the whim of a 4 year old? Hmm

JustSpeakSense · 06/01/2017 17:10

That would be really rude.

You need to follow through with the party you've planned and invited people to.

She can go horse riding another time.

You can't allow a 4 year old to call the shots.

MLGs · 06/01/2017 17:10

No ywbu. Not fair on those other kids. Take her horse riding another day.

TheWitTank · 06/01/2017 17:13

YWBU to cancel now.
I guarantee that as soon as you cancel, DD will change her mind and want a party. She is 4! Take her riding another day.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 06/01/2017 17:14

Wow, that would be incredibly rude. You can't just cancel a party that people have agreed to attend on the whim of a 4 year old-how would you feel telling her that a party she had been invited to now wasn't happening? She'd be a little disappointed don't you think? But you're happy to do that to 10 other children Hmm

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 06/01/2017 17:14

Of course you can't, don't be so rude!

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