To cancel the party?

[FudgeBiscuits]

Kind of a WWYD, kind of a WIBU.

My DD turns 4 in little over a week and I've had a party booked at a local play centre since November (for the day before her birthday). No deposit has been but down. But it's all sorted and people have RSPV'd for the party.

She's been really well behaved and over the last week she's been asking to go horse riding for her birthday.

Originally she wanted a party with her 10 or so of her nursery friends (that's when I booked the party).

I've asked her if she wants to have a party too, she says no, just horse riding.

She also wants to go to the play centre the day of her birthday with her 2 best friends.

WIBU to cancel the party? And just take her horse riding and just organise her friends to meet us at the play centre for the party?

You just can't dick other people around like that and i'm surprised you'd even consider teaching your DD that it would be acceptable behaviour.

This is a reverse surely?

I asked her because whenever I mentioned the party she said to me she doesn't want to go.

I'm not letting her dictate the decision but at the end of the day it's her day, shouldn't she be able to celebrate it the way she wants to?.

If she changed her mind again (to wanting a party if I do cancel) I'd tell her it's too late to book now.

The 2 best friends who she wants to play with are the only kids she plays with outside of nursery.

Completely unreasonable and horribly rude, I'm that you'd even consider it.

No, you can't do that. Learn from it, and next year don't book anything until she promises that's definitely what she wants, But you absolutely can't cancel the party now and would be very very unreasonable to do so.

'it's her day, shouldn't she be able to celebrate it the way she wants to?'

It's too late in the day. She might be a bit put out at not being able to change her plans but in my opinion better that than ten upset kids and their disgruntled parents.

She needs to start learning that you don't let other people down. Maybe point out to her that if you cancelled she would be the one child who never got invited to anyone else's party for at least the next year?

You both need a lesson in manners. That's such an incredibly gauche thing to do

Really?? Yes, ywbvu to cancel.

I also think you need to stop indulging this as even a possibility in your conversations with her. It sounds as though you're going along with it ('don't you want a party as well as the riding?') to an extent that suggests you might go along with it and are in agreement with her.

Instead, I would be saying 'you did ask for a party dd, and I think you will have a really lovely time and lots of fun and presents - then another time when the weather is better we'll perhaps do the riding, but it would be mean to cancel on your friends now. They might even have bought your present already!'

She's celebrating the way she asked to originally, she can't change her mind sadly, it would be incredibly rude to do so.

It would be very rude to cancel the party. The other parents may have turned down other invitations. She's 4 years old, you are in charge not her. She'll love it in the end.

Nah it would be very rude to cancel.

Don't worry about your DD, I'm sure she'll be fine on the day

No you really can't cancel the party. Not only is it horribly rude but you're really giving her the wrong message. It's your job to be consistent and to stick to plans made and honour commitments to other people.

She is celebrating it the way she wants to if you take her horse riding.

Ask her how she would feel to be uninvited to a party

You're joking, aren't you, OP?

I'm not letting her dictate the decision but at the end of the day it's her day, shouldn't she be able to celebrate it the way she wants to?

yes, you are, that is exactly what you are doing

if you wanted her celebrate the way she wants to you should have consulted with her at an earlier moment.

tbh at those soft play parties its pretty low key. kids play with who they want to play with,. it's not usually hyper organised and you can tell them no thanks to organised games. If you are worried she may be feeling apprehensive about being centre of attention then get them to play it all down.

You can't just cancel a party that 10 little kids are looking forward to because your 4yo decides at the last minute she doesn't fancy it. She'll have a great time when she's there, and even if she doesn't, well she can sit there while the others have the party you've arranged. I can't believe someone would actually be as selfish, rude, flakey and cruel as to cancel a little party that 10 small children have RSVP'd to. Do you have a personality disorder or similar? If not, do get a grip, and keep it.

My cousin and her son have just cancelled!

Yes of course she can celebrate her birthday how she wants to- the party isn't on her birthday itself so you can take her riding or whatever on the day, but you need to stick to your original plan for the party. I'd also be gently asking her why she suddenly doesn't want the party- perhaps something has happened at nursery or she's worried about something?

What everyone else said, plus the fact that the play centre's booked and they may have turned away enquiries from others. I can't believe you're actually trying to justify such rude behaviour.

I'm looking forward to the thread in about 9 years' time about the spoiled, entitled teenager who has no manners. There will be no guessing where she learned it from.

You want to cancel the party literally so that your four your old can have a pony?

I think that way the road to a very spoiled child lies.

Have they? So what, are you hoping this trend will catch on? Or thinking that's another good reason to cancel the party?

Seriously OP, this just isn't on. Your name will be mud.