Aibu to feel worried that I'm 26 and have never had a proper job?

[user1480954406]

I fell pregnant with ds during my second year of university, took a year out and then went back and graduated. Before falling pregnant I had intended to go straight on and do a masters in speech and language therapy, but oh and I decided that it would be easier in the long run (and we wanted two together) to do babies now
And start my career once the kids are at
School. I love being a stay at
Home mum but all my friends from school are really getting on with their careers and I'm starting to panic a bit that when they go to school too much time will have passed between graduating and getting a job. Oh says I'm overreacting but I'm really worried... aibu?

Oh I just read that last post again, I misread and thought you meant Sen/language issues not actual language. You mean like teaching kiddies how to speak other languages?

Is that to me? I meant something like this:

www.gold.ac.uk/pgce/primary-modern/

Really not my field at all, but I've a cousin who did it and I thought it might be of interest if you were considering an MFL PGCE. Maybe not, based on some of the stuff you've said I did not understand all the long words you used though no reason why you couldn't also combine this with an interest in SEN is there? Obviously if you will need a bursary for definite, primary not as good.

Or what about one of the teacher training routes 'on the job'? School Direct type programme. If you have work experience doing MFL in secondary, even if it's not that recent, that would surely be to your advantage? And maybe a couple of placements to top it up once your youngest gets free hours?

If you chose to do SALT as undergrad degree it is 3yr FT,and you'll self fund with student loan.no bursary or grant. you'd need to contact the uni regard fees

Undergrad - more courses available.still competitive to get on.need experience but 3 yr as opposed to 2yr.so an extra year in uni,loss of wage. However undergrad fees may be lower than MSc?

Regard skills gathered as a mum e.g. Time management. Sure I get that. But equally a non parent with a job juggles time between work and uni making every second count. I don't think that a parent is better at time management because they're a parent.

I don't think it holds up to any inspection that parents are better at multitasking, time mgt etc. I known on mn folk list qualities they parents have. Some parents have those skills and some don't.what I'm saying is being a parent doesn't automatically confer transferable favourable Skills,We all know the always late,ditzy parent who forgets the pe kits,late for everything,theyre not automatically good at time mgt

To recap
You've made a good plan
You've got oh on board
I think notion of Sahm counting for something is an necessary digression
Concentrate on getting on a course
Look into costing this,inc travel to placement. You'll need to self fund this

Regard skills gathered as a mum e.g. Time management. Sure I get that. But equally a non parent with a job juggles time between work and uni making every second count. I don't think that a parent is better at time management because they're a parent.

Gimmee I don't think anybody has made the bold claim that parents are better applicants than non-parents or vice versa.

The point is that you can use examples of skills gained from any activity or period of your life, whoever you are.

Well actually it has been a thread theme that the skills acquired as mum are advantageous
Someone has said there experience of mum exceeds 9yr in high profile role
It's been suggested op join a nursery committee, join pta for experience
Op herself has said she thinks it's unfair or sexist if sahm experience isn't considered

My point (as I've said) is being a parent doesn't make one more skilled than a non parent

Well, no, actually I thought we'd been saying that skills gained as a mum can be presented advantageously. Which is slightly different.

And of course any skill is transferable, in the right situation.

My point (as I've said) is being a parent doesn't make one more skilled than a non parent

For the love of god, nobody has suggested it does!

Why do you keep saying that?

Not arguing that it is but surely it's as legitimate a way to gain such skills (such working under pressure) as other non-relevant-to-position work experience. I just don't think it's fair to write off the time spent raising kids as a gap in personal development and any skills/growth considered irrelevant because being a mum isn't a proper job that we would be paying a nanny a fair amount to do were I not doing it
If financially, with first class honours, I am worth more to the family as childcared (purely in the financial sense) than an earner, and anything I've learned while at home or skills I've gained are inadmissible so to speak on a cv... that's a bit silly.

I'm not arguing that that's not the way that it is or that you shouldn't say this stuff, but I think it's interesting that there seems to be an attitude of "the pathetic little housewife tried to apply some of the little skills she's learned to the workplace, how silly and laughable" is a bit sexist, yes.

Saying something in bold and liberal use of won't compel me to retract what I'm saying
Because some people are saying mum confers additional skills
Someone has claimed they'd recruit a mum,over a new grad.cause of mum skills

Op thinks system is weighted and sexist to not consider her mum skills

Saying something in bold and liberal use of smilegrinconfused won't compel me to retract what I'm saying

Bolding quotes from other posters is MN convention.

Being snarky doesn't strengthen your point.

Because some people are saying mum confers additional skills

Well it does. But who has said it confers better skills?

Someone has claimed they'd recruit a mum,over a new grad.cause of mum skills

Maybe they would. So what? Others might not.

I'm sorry I can't help ing at you. I really am very

Yes you seem quite vexed

Please don't worry - you're SO young, I promise! You have time. I did it the other way round, foot down on my career through my 20s and early 30s and am now trying to start a family in my mid 30s. The grass is always greener, I'm sure, but I've often thought there's a pretty good argument for getting through the kid years early if you know you've met the right person. Neither route is "right" but I've always suspected that doing it either fairly early or fairly late probably does the least damage to careers.

If I were you, I'd make a plan for the next couple of years to make sure that you have the best possible chance of getting onto the course you want. If speech & language therapy is your first choice, then go for it - don't compromise. I'd email the course leaders at a few different unis and ask advice on the entry requirements / the most useful form of voluntary experience. I'd also try to speak to a range of practicing speech therapists to see what they advise. I bet people will be more than happy to have a coffee and chat about routes in.

I think you mentioned that your Mum could do a bit of child care? If she could take the kids one day per week - or even once a fortnight - then if you could find relevant voluntary experience on that day, it will really add up over two years. You could also try to get hold of the first year reading list for your ideal course and start doing some of that reading now?

Whether or not 'mum skills' help you to get onto a course, I bet they will massively kick in once you're actually in the work place - you will probably find many things a LOT easier than fresh graduates! You will initially feel way behind the career curve, I imagine, but then when the fresh grads alongside you reach their later 20s / 30s and start taking time out for family, your kids will be much older and you will be able to keep your foot down. It'll all even out in the end.

Stick by your decision. It definitely has its advantages - so make the most of them!

Good luck!

I think baffled is the word gimmee

I'm not saying mum skills in general, at all. I mean knowledge of approaches to weaning isn't useful, but I'm talking about more general attributes learned from being a sahm shouldn't be discounted just because they were learned from being a mum rather than from working at topshop.

Op you've planning to apply in 2019,that gives you time to get relevant experience
You and oh can negotiate how he helps you more to help you progress career
Look into the practicalities of funding.you'll be self funding whether undergrad or MSc. including the placements and travel

Do you know about the new postgraduate loans OP?

I'm not sure if they were mentioned upthread when the end of NHS bursaries were discussed (?)

Mn convention, oh please there's no such thing.
people have posting preference and equally one doesn't have to fall in line with mn conventions
Peruse any "what I hate on mn" to see how polarised opinions are on mn conventions

If you say so gimmee.

Need to look into that. If it's with student loans then I presume it's the same pay back when you're in work, which doesn't bother me at all. Oh has said as we are used to living on his wage I don't need to bring anything in I just need to break even. He's gotten a bit of shit on this thread for being realistic about providing for our family but he's a good egg.

Yes its very similar.

I don't know the details of the new funding arrangements
Do a comparison of 2yr MSc fees vs 3yr Degree fees. Factor in travel to placement
Have you looked into NHS health care asst jobs,seeing you're free evening/holidays
What about care asst jobs locally,again evening and school holiday to get experience

I'm not saying mum skills in general, at all. I mean knowledge of approaches to weaning isn't useful, but I'm talking about more general attributes learned from being a sahm shouldn't be discounted just because they were learned from being a mum rather than from working at topshop

All other others things being equal, if I was hiring for a retail position, I'd opt for the Topshop person as they'll demonstrate the most relevant experience.

In terms of time management, there'd be a strong argument to suggest that a mother working outside the home would, theoretically, demonstrate stronger skills than a SAHM.

OP, just wanted to say that when you described how you were drawn to the neuro/psycho side of linguistics, that was not boring at all even though I know nothing about this area. If during the interview, whether for a course of a job, you can make that enthusiasm shine, you can stand out as a candidate.

Apart from that, I am with gimme. You are right that your SAHM experience would explain away your lack of work experience after graduating. However, unfair as it is, it does not generally give you any credit with employers as compared with a candidate with your same degree but with no work experience. Definitely don't big it up as transferable skills or an advantage. You are likely to be interviewed by WOHPs who will be left scratching their heads at how doing something they have to do anyway on top of juggling a day job is in any way relevant.

That said, if you show enthusiasm and commitment and mastery of your subject field, you will impress. I was a bit surprised that you were not aware of the changes in funding and others has to point that out. Hopefully you will be able to find the time to keep current!

Read about contemporary NHS issues. Get a feel for what's going on e.g. Guardian,news,podcasts etc
You'll need to demonstrate a realistic understanding of what role involves and not be overly idealised. Think about demands on services, waiting lists, managing a caseload.use of supervision to develop you

Look up the common diagnosis that SALT work with eg dysphagia (swallowing difficulties)
Look up the settings and client groups SALT work with

Absolutely do discuss your passion for linguistics and working with communication disorders that's what an interviewer wants to see and it's illuminating about you!

Your hoping to commence 2019 so You've 2 and half years to get your work experience together. Prior to course do more recent study I'd recommend life sciences - look at OU

When you apply to uni, they will want evidence of experience to lead you to be sure SLT is the right job for you.

When you apply for your first job, they will only care about your degree, placement experience and how you use all that to fill the job on offer as a newly qualified therapist.

Whether you came from school, worked as a manager in m&s or were a SAHM before your degree is neither here nor there. Going to uni to retrain is like a blank slate...a new start career wise.

Honestly, you are worrying over nothing as I say that as a SLT who has students, trains band 5s and interviews for assistants, band 5s and 6s. You will be absolutely fine as long as you get enough relevant experience to get on the course.

Ps knowledge of weaning styles is actually really important in paediatric dysphagia!