Aibu to feel worried that I'm 26 and have never had a proper job?

[user1480954406]

I fell pregnant with ds during my second year of university, took a year out and then went back and graduated. Before falling pregnant I had intended to go straight on and do a masters in speech and language therapy, but oh and I decided that it would be easier in the long run (and we wanted two together) to do babies now
And start my career once the kids are at
School. I love being a stay at
Home mum but all my friends from school are really getting on with their careers and I'm starting to panic a bit that when they go to school too much time will have passed between graduating and getting a job. Oh says I'm overreacting but I'm really worried... aibu?

What SALT shadowing experience have you had so far?
Without a doubt linguistics is major in SALT training but it's not a linguistics job as such. The job is working in clinic, Ward, schools and home settings. Carrying a caseload,writing notes,attending department meetings,keeping patient data up to date for monitoring e.g. DNA, care plans, instructing assistants, delegation of work. Working with carers,parents,schools

When I was volounteering as a language assistant in a hgh school
I did about two days shadowing the speech therapist in their hearing impaired unit. Then I stopped because, well, morning sickness and uni got too much.

Ive contacted some Speech therapists locally and I'm waiting for them to get back to
Me. I think I had a similar "oh shit I need some work experience" moment about a year ago and contacted loads where I used to live and nobody got back to me then either. Then I went back to changing nappies and forgot aboutife outside of being a mum until now.

No worries OP! Raising children is a justifiable reason on a job application. I took 6 years out with no previous job experience, only a degree and am now training in a well paid position. Actually (controversially) some employers quite like it as they know I'm done with children so will not be about to take a series of back to back maternity leaves like other women my age

TBH once you go back you can fully concentrate on your career hopefully and the younger ones will take time out to have their kids. I think the hardest bit is to get your foot in but once you find something, I think you will be in a good position! Good luck

You will be fine. As long as you are realistic about the entry point at which you start. Have you done your Masters yet or is this still to be done?
Regardless I would try (if you can) to get some voluntary experience or work shadowing while you are being a stay at home mum. A couple of hours a week or a along those lines. These types of things go a long way on application forms.

Coming from a recruitment background I speak with experience of your situation and often found that, given your expectations of entry level are realistic, then you should have no problem and indeed will most likely excel.

If I can be of any more help then feel free to PM me.

Actually (controversially) some employers quite like it as they know I'm done with children so will not be about to take a series of back to back maternity leaves like other women my age

Well, they're daft to make that assumption! Mumsnet is full of 'I'm 36 and have a DD1 (14) and DS1 (12) from a past relationship, and DD1 (18 months)'...!

Notanurse- not married, planning to at some point but oh isn't going anywhere and is a very very decent human and has said on multiple occasions that if we were ever to split he would pay for the house and the kids etc. I think he feels a bit bad that I didn't get my 20s to kind of get my foot on whatever ladder I wanted and do what 20 year olds do so he will
Do whatever he can to support me in what I want to do, unfortunately though, taking time off work isn't something he can do.

Notanurse- not married, planning to at some point but oh isn't going anywhere and is a very very decent human and has said on multiple occasions that if we were ever to split he would pay for the house and the kids etc.

Please get some actual security that isn't relying on his good will. People are often much more generous hypothetically than they are in practice... Seriously, I know you don't want to hear this but you're in such a precarious position.

Short of getting married what security?

House in joint names. Does you have life insurance? If so who is named beneficiary?

Tbh it was easier for us to get married!

Hi OP

I'm a speech therapist. I don't think your years without employment and raising children will count against you when applying for the masters or future jobs. This is a very vocational profession and so the correct qualifications are the main gateway. However getting on the masters is very competitive as I'm sure you're aware. It's full of people who have already worked as slt assistants and other related roles. That will be the biggest challenge; the type of experience you've got, not the amount. And certainly raising children can be played to an advantage too as you will have a head start about developmental norms and the challenges of family life, school and health etc.

My advice would be to stay positive. Anyone who is truly passionate about becoming a speech therapist and who also has the academic abilities for the course can. I would look at getting an up to date as level at night school as uni like to see recent study. And then a few hours volunteering or paid employment in a slt related area. Eg. Sure start, special. Schools, stroke association, hospital health care assistant, learning disability service etc. Don't give up and don't undervalue yourself. But I think the issue is going to be more around slt direct experience rather than your overall amount of work experience
Also do contact the masters and talk to the admissions tutor about what you can do to become a strong candidate.

Good luck

Lots of big companies/organisations have 'graduate schemes' that usually open so that students can start applying in their final year at university but are not just for final year students (in fact, I would go so far as to say that the majority of people who get on them have had at least a year out of univerisity). Yes, it is probably more unusual for people to be older but it's not an issue.

The idea is you train on the job and should progress relatively quickly.

I see that you do have a specific field in mind which would not lend itself to a grad scheme, but most major companies have them - supermarkets, banks, companies like Unilever... There are also public sector ones: Fast Stream for the Civil Service, Teach First as has been mentioned and a new-ish one for social workers I think. This sort of thing might be more appealing to you based on what you've said.

One issue you may find with grad schemes is that there are often 'postings' for 3/6/12 months so you may find an expectation to move around - not ideal with a family! This is something you would have to look into for individual schemes. I believe the public sector ones are better in terms of letting you stay in one place.

I had a career change at 26, wentback to university, and then it took me a year after graduating to find a job I wanted, starting at the bottom of the ladder and taking a pay cut from my previous career, so I don't think your age will be a problem, but you can't expect to catch up with your peers immediately.

Neither have I - just voluntary.

I had DD1 at 23 and DD2 at 26, am 26 now.

In 2 years time when DD2 is starting nursery I will get a PT job.

I an dismiss bled though.

As long as you are going to work I don't see the problem. It's those who don't ever intend to work where the problem lies.

Marriage is better than nothing but no real security tbh. Everything is going the way of 50/50 and that's why it's so important you keep your earning potential

Ok,two days shadowing a while back isn't great experience- you'll need to increase it
You could ask on mn if any SALT can let you shadow them?
Presumably you're seeking 2018 entry, your actual SALT shadowing experience is currently limited. Really work on getting relevant experience. Do contact admissions and find out what they are looking for

Being at home with your own kids isn't experience as such,it doesn't necessarily give an advantage when applying for a course. Just as many applicants won't be parents,and they're not at a disadvantage as a result.

When you're FT on placement working and commuting how will drop off/ pick up off kids work. And holiday etc. Will you and oh share this?childminder?surely He has to start to help you build a career, or are you saying it's non negotiable that he takes time off, changes hours to accommodate you?

I sometimes think posters on mn overstate the significance of being at home with their kids. When apply for jobs and or courses It's not considered gold standard. Looking after your own kids at home doesn't demonstrate a particular aptitude or ability for a course or training. You will need to show what you've done to keep up to date and be masters ready

^ This

People are often much more generous hypothetically than they are in practice... Seriously, I know you don't want to hear this but you're in such a precarious position

^^ and this!

There will be lots of success stories of people who have "made it" in starting late but there will be lots more who struggle to get beyond the entry level position. (And lots of very sad stories of women who didn't start/gave up a career to be a SAMH who are now living on benefits).

You do have to protect yourself because you are in a vulnerable position. If you are not planning to work for a few years then try to get some job relevant experience to talk about at interviews. In the meantime, either get married or get some other kind of security behind you. Right now, you don't have very much.

You're not even allowed to live on benefits very long. 6 months absolute tops but the pressure to take a min wage 0 hours contract kicks in after about 12 weeks. Frankly if you're left holding the baby and the baby is over 5 yrs you are stuffed

My ex if 16 years appeared a decent sort who promised all your DP did. Thankfully we were married when he decided marriage wasn't enough and he wanted to shag loads of women. Even then he has argued over every penny - not wanting me to gain anything as I was 'part time' (4 days as a teacher). Despite the fact that for the first 10 years I was the higher earner ...
OP you need to start doing something now

Flaming Nora. The OP wanted career planning advice not legal or relationship advice.

She has a clear plan and it doesn't involve living on benefits.

I don't think anybody ever plans to live on benefits do they

what do you want me to do? So we decided to have ds knowing it would be hard, then we had dd because we knew that I wouldn't really be able to cover childcare on a graduate wage so it was better to have a 2nd baby as that would consolidate any maternity leave (albeit not actual leave from anything) and then when they were in school I would start a career. I don't see any other option for me than to wait for dd to be at school before I get a job, and obviously the post was advice on how to make best use of my time off and getting on the ladder once finished.

When I fell pregnant I was 21, oh had just started his own business and is still not at a
stage where he can hire a manager and take loads of time off to allow me to study, nor can we afford to get married or get life insurance at the moment. Or some kind of contract stating I get half of the diddly squat
We actually have other than his business which he owns with his dad and spends 80 hours a week at.

Also, hypothetical if he were to leave me, I wouldn't plan on benefits but there are childcare options if you're a single parent. We've worked out on multiple occasions that we would actually be financially better off if we weren't together as we're in that awkward between getting financial/childcare help from the government and actually being comfortable enough to breathe.

IMO you need your oh to make a time commitment and emotional commitment to supporting you to get a career. You returning to study FT will have significant impact upon the family and oh
That's why people are commenting on the relationship, oh not bothered if you ever work again
It appears he cannot change his work hours/work pattern when you return to work. He's had an unimpeded career path,uninterrupted by parenting as op does it all.you had a career break

The marriage issue isn't wholly relevant but you'd be well advised to make sure house is in joint names.

Get some relevant SALT experience to boost your application

Look, I can see this is upsetting you, but people are actually being quite clear about what they think you should do: start treating this as a priority, and ignore your partner (who hasn't made any sacrifices to his own career and earning potential) telling you that it's 'overreacting' to worry about it. It's not really clear how long it is before your youngest goes to school, but this isn't an issue that can be wisely put off for years: it needs to be one of the key priorities for all of you, as a family.

It's just all getting a bit doomy brummie