Aibu to feel worried that I'm 26 and have never had a proper job?

[user1480954406]

I fell pregnant with ds during my second year of university, took a year out and then went back and graduated. Before falling pregnant I had intended to go straight on and do a masters in speech and language therapy, but oh and I decided that it would be easier in the long run (and we wanted two together) to do babies now
And start my career once the kids are at
School. I love being a stay at
Home mum but all my friends from school are really getting on with their careers and I'm starting to panic a bit that when they go to school too much time will have passed between graduating and getting a job. Oh says I'm overreacting but I'm really worried... aibu?

Pgce is another option I've been considering, there's government bursaries for modern language teachers for £20000 if you have a first, mines in linguistics which some unis will accept if you can speak the target language and I did a lot of volounteering as a language assistant before I had ds... teaching feels like kind of an available careee path to me at this point but I really want to do SLT

When I said just I actually meant Just do what I want to do not be "just an achademic". At all.

You can put committees on your CV if you position them in such a way to highlight the responsibilities you have, and the skills you've learnt.

Do you have any friends / relatives who work in management positions where they are responsible for hiring staff? If so, get them to look through your CV. Such feedback can be really valuable and should optimise your chances.

Also I guess 'just an achademic' in the sense that if I were to carry on and study PhD I wouldn't be contributing financially for a long time, whereas as slt or teacher I'd be contributing sooner. If that makes sense.

I have a section on my CV with Transferable Skills- Personal Highlights. Basically a list of things I've done that are relevant and I'm particularly proud of but don't actually come under the umberella of 'education' or 'work experience'. This might be a good place for your success in commuters etc?

Committees not Commuters!

There is no reason you cant start a career late, but you have to accept that you start at the bottom and the same conditions as new graduates face - low pay - long hours - high competition for entry level jobs apply to you. You dont get a leg up because you have been a parent.

This is the hardest thing that many of my SAHM friends of now teenagers have had to face. After 10-15 years out of the workplace they are getting graduate or school lever jobs despite their good degrees and life experience. They feel its not fair - but in reality it is

I think maybe you would be better off doing what you have done, as long as you are willing to start at the beginning. I did three degrees, worked full time for 10 years, rose up the ladder very quickly and then had children. I'm now doing what I was doing 10 years ago, on a lower salary, as I'm part time and have no additional responsibility payments. I do love it, and it was my choice, but I don't even bother putting my management experience down on my CV now, because it's not relevant any more. I feel if I didn't have it in the first place, I wouldn't compare. Maybe emphasise the things you do on committees to show work ethic. You could start studying part time so as not to lose too much more time. If your friends have children in their 30's, you might just be able to catch up!

There is no cut off age for grad scheme applications, but I would recommend trying to fit something in in the meantime (volunteering/ committees as already mentioned) so that you have some experience to use in the interview parts of the assessment centre. If you want to go down the grad scheme route I would suggest that additional time (as long as you can use it as experience) would work to your advantage.

I'm the same. I'm also 26. Just qualified with a Masters in Social Work. I've spent my life trying to achieve that qualification. So I've been at University, had some temp jobs and went and did my masters. Been out of work as I had my Son at 22 and felt looking after him was more important.

I am now in a position to have a good, career job at an age when some of my friends who have worked since 16 are not.

I have two job interviews lined up and hopefully will be in full time, permanent work soon.

There's nothing wrong with not having worked at that age. I just wouldn't want to be unemployed any longer as I was getting depressed and lonely. I think longterm people do need work of some sort to feel fulfilled unless you have lots of great family and friends and are financially secure.

Oh says I'm overreacting but I'm really worried... aibu?

Well that's ok for him to say isn't it? Considering his career doesn't appear to have suffered and you do 100% of the childcare.

Also, if you were to separate tomorrow you'd be fucked but he wouldn't.

Some spectacularly unhelpful replies here, given that time travel isn't possible. Honestly, if you haven't any helpful suggestions to make then why bother? Unless you get some kind of nasty pleasure from telling other people how doomed they are.

In real life, people DO change careers, retrain or go back to work after a break at greater ages than 26. You have time on your side OP! I have lots of friends who stayed at home with their preschoolers then retrained or started over after a 4-or-more year break; as childminders, teachers, therapists and a pastry chef (!). The PGCE sounds like a good plan, especially as you're qualified in a subject so in demand.

Do a masters that qualifies you for a specific job (such as a PGCE or Social Work). Or else it's time wasted really. Unless you really have the ability and contacts to get the experience needed to gain a good job.

And I can only go by Social Work but in my office when I was training there were people in their 40s who had just recently qualified as a Social Worker. So plenty of time for you.

It's hard to see people having these amazing work careers and getting promoted. While you feel the world is passing you bye. I've been there. But doing well job wise doesn't make people happy and I bet a lot of people would lvoe to be in your position looking after the children.

I work in academia and it's very competitive with many many many hours of work.....that is if you do find a fellowship or postdoc or some sort, which you are definitely not guaranteed. I have many friends who have a PhD and are incredibly bright and hard working and never made it, so I wouldn't build my hopes up too high if I were you. If you decide to complete a PhD, do it for yourself, but don't expect a job to materialise in the end.
Also be aware that PGCEs are very hard work (in that you get a lot of work/study/lesson preparation to do; they are not intellectually challenging in the slightest) so your husband would have to do 90% of the looking after your children over the week. It may also be interesting to volunteer in a school for a while in the subject you'd be teaching to get an idea of what it is like. Lots of PGCE students/NQTs get disheartened fast so it'd be a shame for your family to go through this if you end up quitting in the end.
I hope I am not putting you off - I just know lots of people who ended up disappointed and having wasted years of their lives because noone had told them. There are however people who do love their jobs and for whom it worked out fine obviously. Schools wouldn't look down on the gap in your CV too.

Don't judge me for stupidity but what do you mean when you say grad scheme? This is part of the reason I'm feeling a bit panicky as I literally don't understand the language my friends use when talking about work stuff and I don't even really understand what their job titles mean.

I really really want to use my degree so teaching, speech therapy, research, editing or proof reading are kind of the paths I want to go down as opposed to one of the job titles I don't understand. I think I'd be really sad if I didn't use linguistics every day.

You'll also hear some people say teachers' workloads are not compatible with family life. I personally disagree with this but I guess it is all down to personal experience.

I recruit graduates/trainees (but in a different field). I wouldnt discount committee work if it was framed in the same way as employment: this is what I was responsible for, this is what I achieved. So just being on a committee wouldnt add but chairing a sub committee, arranging meetings, ensuring XYZ guidelines were followed, achieved ABC would all add to your CV.

Top tip: when you get an interview (and you will) dont do as an interviewee did to me and have 'can I have a 2 hour lunch break and leave early on these days' as the first questions they asked when I asked the interviewee if they had any questions!

I did it the "traditional" way, uni, MA and job. I then had kids in my early 30s and am now coasting along in my job part time. Whereas women around me who did it your way have older kids and can really focus on their career, people who were trainees before I went on maternity leave are now managers and leaving me well behind. To be honest I can't see my career ever taking off now because I am not prepared to go back to work full time until they are older and by that time I will be in my mid 40s.

So I think the way you are doing it has it's massive advantages. Remember once you are in a job you are building up experience, so it may be hard getting a job but once you've got over that hurdle you are off.

Good luck!!!

To add a positive story: a friend of mine recently got a 2:1 at the age of 27. She's now doing a teach first course. She has two young boys and is a single parent.

Don't get me wrong she's worked her socks off and it was very difficult for her but she's proof that it can be done.

A graduate scheme is what it says on the tin: a scheme for graduates to get their foot in the door. Certain companies offer them.

Is your DH on board with?

Congratulations on your first and juggling it all. SALT is a good career. Do discuss the numerous settings SALT work in e.g. LD, paediatric,Stroke.
You do need to start to network and get SALT shadowing experience and insight into the role to prepare for course interviews as it's expected experience. I think do include and talk about committees etc but I don't think that'll necessarily swing a place for you.just as candidates who aren't a parent and haven't attended playgroup won't be at a disadvantage. IMO don't over emphasise the mumsy playgroup stuff. You're applying for a competitive masters talk about contemporary issues in SALT, role of SALT,shadowing,read journals etc

I sometimes think posters on mn overstate the significance of being at home with their kids. When apply for jobs and or courses It's not considered gold standard. Looking after your own kids at home doesn't demonstrate a particular aptitude or ability for a course or training. And it won't necessarily be seen as preferential. You will need to show what you've done to keep up to date and be masters ready

Pgce- I've volounteering in a Spanish department for years and years over summer before o had ds so I've got a good idea of what the role entails, my mum's a Spanish teacher aswell so I also know what the work load is like and would also have a mentor in my mum and know loads of teachers.

But it's not really what I want to do.

Don't get me wrong teachers are amazing and there is so much to the job, but after studying deep structures of sentences in the brain I feel like a bit of me would die every time I had to teach a 14 year old to order a sandwich in French.

So I think I've made my mind up throughout this thread really. I need to do what I can to do Speech and language therapy as that qualifies your for a job.

And to the people who have replied about achademic careers, all these reasons are precisely why I said before, I've realised this is not a realistic option.

I think oh would love for me to stay at home and never have to feel pressure to bring income and do my little PhD and just stay at
Home baking cakes while looking at my degrees hanging on the wall in immaculately
Dusted frames, but he is living in a dreamworld in which he brings home millions and in which being at home all
The time
Doesn't drive me slightly round the bend.

Pgce is still an option if I really struggle to get the work experience for slt masters because I think the grant would just about
Cover transport, wraparound care and tuition fees.

OP I'm 24 with a 1 year old and worried too.

I'm in my second year of my degree and applying for an internship for those from disadvantaged backgrounds because I'm less likely to make it in life statistically. So hopefully I get on to it and lay down the foundations of my career that way.

Op do you or your partner have parents or friends to help with childcare? I'm a single mum and wouldn't be able to do my degree without my mums help.

Normally grad schemes involve some element of training as well, like the Teach First scheme.

In some companies the grad scheme is for a specific role only and you'll only do that role. In some companies (like mine) grads move around the company a bit at first to learn about the business and it's different areas, to help them work out what they are good at and what they like best (e.g. they'll do 6 months in marketing, then 6 months in a commercial strategy team, etc)

As others have said, there's a lot of competition for entry level jobs and you may well not be able to get very flexible working hours. Your OH may need to cut back his hours to help with childcare, or you might need to accept that for the first few years a high proportion of your salary (till you're earning more) will have to be spent on after school and school holiday childcare.

Hibou-

When I was at university I got the ccg and my mum or oh would pick up ds on days When I couldn't get back from uni. I mainly did work when ds was in bed.

I have my mum and dad and ohs mum and sister who can do weekends but everybody works so anything before 6pm is off, unless it's in the holidays.