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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so annoyed with other drivers 'waving' me on

329 replies

TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 08:49

I am quite happy to wait until a natural break in traffic to continue with my turning right manoeuvre thank you. I do not need you to come to a complete stop for me (which is dangerous and against the Highway Code), holding up everyone behind you, to then wave me on and get frustrated with me when I don't immediately take you up on your kind 'offer'.

I think I'm almost getting to the point where I am simply not going to move when I am waved on, and wait for the other driver to continue driving.

AIBU to be frustrated with drivers who take the rules into their own hands like this?

OP posts:

myfavouritecolourispurple · 04/01/2017 17:38

Sorry OP your entire thread has been derailed!

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2017 17:39

"Although motorists seem to believe that a single lane of traffic flowing into a work zone should flow through unrestricted and much faster without a slowdown for merging traffic, this just does not happen in the real world of traffic hazards," MnDOT says. "Motorists slow down because of the uncertainty of the drivers' actions ahead, poor visibility beyond, signs/drums/barricades and (other obstructions). That slows down the rest of the line of traffic, and the longer the queue, the more it slows down and a longer time before it regains speed."
Instead, states that ask motorists to use the zipper method want all available roadway used up to the merge point. The zipper is not intended to be used when traffic is flowing briskly, with ample distance between vehicles to move over earlier without causing a slowdown. But when traffic is slow moving, using both lanes and taking turns one car at a time from each lane has proved effective. MnDOT says by creating two full lanes of traffic, the speed difference between the lanes is reduced. When everyone is equally "disadvantaged," incidents of road rage and other bad behavior — like playing "lane cop" and driving in the center to prevent passing — are fewer. Signs instructing motorists to use both lanes up to the merge point help take the pressure off people who fear scorn or retribution.

Frusso · 04/01/2017 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 04/01/2017 17:40

Lovely model Maid - but it's not really modelled on your average busy UK road during rush hour hell, is it?

SirChenjin · 04/01/2017 17:42

A bottleneck created by drivers not merging in time, but leaving it till the last minute - yes.

And on that note, I really am going - judging by the smell of burnt food it's dinner time for the Chen Minors

Frusso · 04/01/2017 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RichardBucket · 04/01/2017 17:47

People who merge early are the ones we should be tutting at, not those who use the road properly.

And OP, you'd rather sit on a main road waiting to turn right with a queue building up behind you than turn right when someone waves at you? And you think the waver is the inconsiderate driver? Whoa.

CaptainDaydream · 04/01/2017 17:48

One time when I was waiting to turn right, and didn't go when the man slowed then stopped to let me, he got really angry with obvious swearing and hand gestures at me!

I couldn't have gone if I'd wanted to as it was into a carpark and the caretaker's car was ahead of me as he was unlocking the gate. Apparently the kindly/rude man who was waving me to go couldn't see that. I'm sure if I'd gone and blocked his lane he'd have had something to say about that too.

downwardfacingdog · 04/01/2017 17:49

Just to get back to the OP, you are bvu. There are some roads where you could wait for hours for a gap in traffic to turn right whilst causing a massive jam on your side of the road.

Ohbehave1 · 04/01/2017 17:57

So op. You don't like being considerate. You sound a real nice person.

CammieKennaway · 04/01/2017 17:57

What the hell? I think you need to think about some real problems if you get so angry about people being nice to you that you need to have a major rant.
I'm the sort of driver you hate because if I see someone waiting to turn right and I can see a large queue of traffic building up behind them (some of whom may have urgent appointments to get to or something similar - someone held up a queue of traffic as I was driving to the hospital to be with my dying sister-in-law and rejected THREE drivers attempts to let her cross - direct result was I lost my chance to say goodbye as she was dead by the time I finally got there!), then IF I can safely stop or slow to let them out, then I will do - in fact I did it today.
It's up to the driver whether they go or not and I appreciate that they may deem it too hazardous to go (which is absolutely fine) but to get so angry over people trying to be nice baffles me.
People seem to actively look for things to be offended by these days!

Funnyfarmer · 04/01/2017 18:25

Doesn't annoy me as such bit do wonder why some people do it in some cases it hinders there flow of traffic much more than it helps mine. I only do it if there isn't much traffic behind me and there is a bit of a tailback caused by the person who is waiting to turn right.
But something I do think I'm doing something wrong because I hardly ever get annoyed when driving.

Funnyfarmer · 04/01/2017 19:33

In fact what does annoy me is motorists who who annoyed about really insignificant things. Just chill out and calm down and concentrate on your own driving

Cantusethatname · 04/01/2017 19:35

raindripsonruses
Absolutely not, I am not a road rage person and even if I were I would have the sense to realise that frightening a horse is madness. But I still hate that wave.

raindripsonruses · 04/01/2017 19:39

What funny said.

Original poster

TheresaVGreen · 04/01/2017 20:11

Man10: "On balance, I think the OP is probably in the wrong, for treating the wave as an instruction rather than an invitation."

But, isn't it an instruction? Because once the driver had completely slowed to a stop for me, holding up everyone behind him, I have no option other than to go. He has made my driving decisions for me, and that is wrong.

OP posts:

Gillian1980 · 04/01/2017 20:26

Yabu.

I just consider it courteous to let people out and don't think I've ever had anyone look annoyed or irritated by it, or decline the offer.

If anyone lets me out I gratefully accept. Though I don't expect or feel entitled to have the offer made.

Whisky2014 · 04/01/2017 20:28

YABU

LucklessMonster · 04/01/2017 20:31

I think I'm almost getting to the point where I am simply not going to move when I am waved on, and wait for the other driver to continue driving.

Obstinate, lacking in confidence, AND controlling? A fascinating mix in a person...

ThoraGruntwhistle · 04/01/2017 20:39

I kind of see what you mean. When I'm walking I would rather cars kept moving along normally when I'm trying to cross a road than stop and let me go. I realise I'm in a minority with that one but I'd rather wait and go when the road's clear than when someone decides to allow me across.

Ohyesiam · 04/01/2017 20:52

Yabu, it's courteous.

bluebellsparklypants · 04/01/2017 21:15

YABU
I'm not sure why you would get annoyed when someone was being decent enough to let you out. Are you in the camp of being a selfish driver that doesn't let others go?
I stop/slow to let others out making sure there isn't oncoming traffic and that no one is directly behide me

rainingcats · 04/01/2017 21:36

I love it when i get flashed or waved - i have to turn right at a junction on my way to work traffic is heading onto the m1 in the left lane and off the m1 in the right lane during rush hour there is no chance of turning right without someone being kind enough to give you a wave, sometimes this means the traffic is held up a little while you then check if the right lane is clear but nobody seems to mind like i said in rush hour its the only way to leave the junction

Notapodling · 04/01/2017 21:40

Actually I have this happen often and find it very annoying. If it's slow moving traffic that's one thing, but people do it when it's not.
I have to turn right onto a busy road leaving work, and it's a two lane coming from the left around a bend and very fast moving.
Someone invariably stops because theyre turning into the road i'm in and waves at me to go. At least half the time there's someone coming around the bend in the adjacent lane and I'd cause an accident if I blindly obeyed.
I get that the intention is well-meaning but most of the time they just hold up the traffic, at worst risk an accident.
I recently had a guy wave at me to go when there was a whole line of fastmoving cars whizzing past him, and then gave me a rude gesture and an eye roll when I didn't rush to take his offer. I assume he was only paying attention to the traffic coming toward him.
Nope. I'll go when I think it's safe.

museumum · 04/01/2017 21:43

This happened to me today - in the dark. Someone on the main road stopped to let me turn right. I assumed he was waiting to turn right into my road. But then the oncoming traffic (from my left) cleared and he didn't go. So I waited, then just as I was about to go in front of him (totally against the Highway Code but he was just sitting there) he moved so I stopped, so he stopped, then he went revving his engine and as he came past me side window to side window he was gesticulating and making ranty faces.

I can only guess he was trying to make me go first. But that would have been a very dangerous assumption and illegal move if I'd pulled out in front of him If he didn't mean that.
It was dark and I'm not a mind reader.
I'm guessing this is the sort of thing the OP hates.

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