AIBU to be horrified shocked disgusted AND revolted by family on sofa?

[LauraMipsum]

Just got back from a trip to extended family and was HORRIFIED to find that they sit on their bottoms on the sofa, often with only one or two layers of material between skin and chair. PIL don't even wipe it down with anti bac wipes in between different people plonking their backsides down.

WIBU to stand for the entire visit of two weeks? My knees hurt and my face aches from scowling.

I've had an epiphany after reading this thread. People, animals, birds, fish, trees, mountains, grass, soil, rivers, lakes, seas, oceans, houses, buildings, EVERYTHING! IT'S ALL GERM-RIDDEN FILTH! SKY, MOON AND STARS! ALL FOUL, DISEASE RIDDEN, CONTAMINATED CESS PITS SWIRLING WITH NOISOME BACTERIA… I MUST DESTROY IT ALL, EVERY LAST NOXIOUS BIT OF IT! ONLY THEN CAN I FEEL REALLY, TRULY, HYGIENICALLY CLEAN! ONLY THEN CAN I... (spontaneously combusts with righteous rage)

My PIL also sit on their sofas with bare trousers and reuse tinsel. DH has already agreed that we will go there next year for Christmas and I can't stop worrying about the sprout fart particles that will have been festering on that tinsel for 350something days before my DC are exposed to it again. Boak

Don't have a conversation with my sofa then. If it could talk about the things its seen you would probably go into melt down.

To be fair did you leave anti bacterial wipes and spray next to the sofa? May if they didn't see said items they may have thought its some topsy turvy world where people don't wipe their sofas before and after use and though when in Rome?

Cara nope.. it can wait until tomorrow. Too busy setting mumsnet to rights

My solution to dirt-avoidance has some similarities to yours, CMS, but, instead of my family swinging from monkey bars to avoid contact with the floor, I have trained everyone to walk on titanium stilts, which can be handily thrown into a bath of sulphuric acid every night to exterminate all germs. Moreover, the bottom of the stilts and the floor have been magnetised to repel each other so, instead of touching the floor, we actually hover a centimetre above it to avoid any contact. As an added bonus, we find our ingenious method of locomotion has the effect of discouraging germy visitors, so double the benefit!

I now live in a stainless steel castle surrounded by a boiling Zoflora moat. I like to change fragrances with the seasons, though. Keeps things jolly.

I have been sniggering through this thread, trying not to make any noise and disturb the small child - but this one had me in stitches, for some reason!

StairsInTheNight Tue 03-Jan-17 22:34:40
...
We use them after hosing down our arses in the garden at night, while shouting 'Filth, filth!' - as any decent person does.

Thankfully small child seems unaffected by my mirth. Just as well or I'd probably have to quickdip him in draino or similar.

"Bettercallsaul1

My solution to dirt-avoidance has some similarities to yours, CMS, but, instead of my family swinging from monkey bars to avoid contact with the floor, I have trained everyone to walk on titanium stilts, which can be handily thrown into a bath of sulphuric acid every night to exterminate all germs. Moreover, the bottom of the stilts and the floor have been magnetised to repel each other so, instead of touching the floor, we actually hover a centimetre above it to avoid any contact. As an added bonus, we find our ingenious method of locomotion has the effect of discouraging germy visitors, so double the benefit!"

Fabulously funny post. Ahh

Leaving the washing up festering is "disgusting". Shame on you all.

TUT

I have a dreadful snotty cold at the moment and have just produced a magnificent snot bubble from my nose from sniggering

What is Zoflora?

Too lazy to google...can you imagine the state of my house?

Zoflora, ah. It's for children to play with.

I call it and raise with formaldehyde vapour for fumigation at Cat 3 microbiological safety level.

You live in space? You do know that poop gets flushed right out of the ISS into orbit, it's floating around up there just waiting to hit you during your next space walk to clean the windows

Nah. A rock hard turd travelling at 17k+ mph could do an amazing amount of damage. Until its orbit decayed and it hit the atmosphere and - aaarggghhhh - incinerated poo crumbs all over the world.

As well as producing snot bubbles , I've been sneezing violently which has caused me to fart at the same time. I must be covered in poo crumbs by now.

Keep Calm and wrap yourself in kitchen foil.
(For the clean & fresh effect!)

I have no sofa, I float using the power of my revulsion
😝😂

This is my drawing room, I don't allow anyone in it, not even look at it for to long at they may contaminate it with eye germs.

Not sure whether it will work, but I still had the first page of original thread open (can't expand to further pages though). Just for those who were wondering...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2818507-AIBU-to-be-grossed-out-that-PIL-use-a-cotton-cloth-to-wash-up-and-dont-rinse-crockery-and-cutlery?trending=1

Thanks for the title. It helps. :)

But, it opens up the old non-rinsing debate. I don't think you should have posted that.

Cara Thank you so much for your appreciation of my (patented) acid bath/titanium stilt solution to bug-busting! I have to say that, on the whole, it's worked remarkably well for us. There was only a single incident in which a family member, in his commendable haste to throw his "filthy" stilts (which he'd walked on all day!) into the cleansing acid, failed to undo one of the fastenings and threw himself in too. Suffice it to say that, within a few seconds, he had no further need to worry about germs and dirt. However I can personally attest to the fact that you couldn't hope for a cleaner, more odourless end-of-life experience so perhaps not all bad?

Do some of you still let real actual people into your homes? I have a conveyor belt that runs past the front of my house. My guests are welcome to glide past on this, whilst wearing a face mask to protect the windows as they peer in. I hold up pictures of the food I would have prepared for them, and a couple of witty anecdotes they could have enjoyed. No complaints so far, and my house is spotless. Win win.

"I use a 3D printer to print an entire new house every day
I also print a new dh and DC too"

OK, you win this thread :)

Heavy Flamethrowers and Power Armour are basic cleaning gear in our house.

username - no, that doesn't work, only brings up the deletion message.

I'm crying with laughter even though I should be asleep with my family in my new (change every day) freezer to kill any bacteria dead.
Every guest that wants to come into our house has to remove their skin and skin is washed in my new daily washer/dryer. I boil my guests skeletons in bleach. Then my guests are put back together & cased in silver (antibacterial properties) and then they can enter the living room. I repeat the disinfecting cycle before my guests leave.
I then put my house in my new daily washing machine & then boil house & hang on the line to dry for freshness. House is taken off washing line before it gets darked on. House gets tumble drier if raining or it's night time.
Once a week I clean my village this way and every month I clean my city this week (it's much easier now I have a million kilo washer & aga to fit everything in.
Unfortunately my cat's fur has fallen off & she's shrank to the size of a mouse and turned pink as DD left a red top in the washing machine.
My MIL thinks I'm being unreasonable as she says boiling is unnecessary & once every month is fine. She says I have ishoos