AIBU to be horrified shocked disgusted AND revolted by family on sofa?

[LauraMipsum]

Just got back from a trip to extended family and was HORRIFIED to find that they sit on their bottoms on the sofa, often with only one or two layers of material between skin and chair. PIL don't even wipe it down with anti bac wipes in between different people plonking their backsides down.

WIBU to stand for the entire visit of two weeks? My knees hurt and my face aches from scowling.

I don't know, TheOgPog, it's possible that there's life (!) on Mars. Yuck.

Please will someone PM me the thread this is about, not that it is a thread about a thread of course.

I know I'm going to have nightmares tonight after reading this thread - probably of Rough Workmen having a poo in my toilet. Who knew such abominations could occur? Surely there must be a law against it?

Hassled, Special Arse Towels are available at M&S. Not just any towels, but Special Arse Towels, hand woven finest bleached cotton impregnated with zoflora in every strand for that smooth, effortless arse sterilising effect.

We use them after hosing down our arses in the garden at night, while shouting 'Filth, filth!' - as any decent person does.

You have to wash them in a separate washing machine obviously.

My waters broke on my sofa

Please will someone PM me the thread this is about, not that it is a thread about a thread of course.

It was deleted

CheeseFiend36 "My waters broke on my sofa "

The same happened to me, at 2 in the morning. Not that I would ever tell anyone.

Oh.

Bugger.

Mynestisfullofempty I'm very sorry. I don't actually live in my own Zoflora space station. It's just a hallucination I have every now and again. The hallucinations are a side effect of all the painkillers I have to take because my skin so often comes into direct contact with bleach, cleansing fire and Brillo-pad toilet paper.

Lweji I for one think life is disgusting and should be banned.

But you did, of course, throw the sofa into a vat of Zoflora, scrub with wire wool, and then burn it before heading off to the maternity ward?

' why I am right and all my relatives are cunts' by jeneric selfhelpshite
:-D :-D :-D

I need to know about arse towels!

It was deleted

Oh bugger, I hate when the fun stuff gets deleted. It should just go into a holding pen where you have 24 hours to read it but you can't comment.

I have also heard whispered rumours at my DS's toddler disinfectant group that some people use the same toothbrush for a couple of months on end

I know times are hard but surely one can change their toothbrush after every brushing?

Candle ... wet flannel/used to dry after washing or...?

TheOgPog

You live in space? You do know that poop gets flushed right out of the ISS into orbit, it's floating around up there just waiting to hit you during your next space walk to clean the windows.

I uploaded my mind to the internet and interact with what I call "germ sacks" via my robot avatar, which is destroyed in a vat of molten metal every night and created anew for the next day.

stairs made me spit out my bed cuppa

I've had to burn the house down and LTB after Dh refused to follow the standard routine before entering the house, apparently his DM never made him use a penis beaker full of zoflora before entering the house lazy cow now have a dh problem but caused by a mil I've gone NC and I'm homeschooling just to be safe

My waters broke on my sofa

You don't know how to do things properly.

My waters broke in the bathtub. (True story)

I also think they are on glue and I would never judge but I think it's non brand glue

Lweji my waters broke in hospital during my epidural. Let them clean that shit up(yup did that too )

I have fitted monkey bars to the ceilings in my house for people to hang off . It avoids the totally unnecessary and frankly discusting practice of walking on carpets.

YANBU, sofas contain fart juice and poo crumbs

Anyone done the washing up yet?