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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sex in my own house when we have guests?

350 replies

SeriousCreativeBlock · 03/01/2017 01:11

My friend and her 4 year old ds turned up at my house for New Years with the intention of staying six days (this is a whole other issue, she knows I have a deadline coming up next week and I am stressed). Her visit, and the last just before Christmas, has been a constant series of put downs ranging from remarking on my father's "failing business", questioning my parenting, naming my dd a sociopath and a "mini Donald Trump" (she's FOUR!) and gaslighting me regarding my mental illness.

This evening, at half 12 at night, dp and I had sex. We were very quiet, although the bed creaks slightly. Afterwards, I went into the kitchen where she launched into a tirade about how I could have waited until her son was asleep.

AIBU to think that a small child should really be asleep at 12:30, and that I should be able to have sex in my own house without being made to feel guilty? I feel like I'm being shamed for having an active sex life.

OP posts:
StarsandSparkles · 03/01/2017 10:08

Id tell her to get the fuck out my house and never darken my door again. What a cow to think she can control you in your own home Angry

pipsqueak25 · 03/01/2017 10:09

sorry op i'm not understanding why you are putting up with her behaviour, your attitude towards it seems odd and makes me think there is more to this than you are sharing with us [ that is your choice of course].
why is dp putting up with it ? it's his home too i guess, she slags you and dc off and he sits on his hands because you 'keep him on the leash' ? sorry but in his place i would speak up.

CrazyDuchess · 03/01/2017 10:12

I'm with your DP on this one - he needs to say something if you can and get her out!

DearMrDilkington · 03/01/2017 10:13

Don't have a word with her, tell her to piss off out of your home.

She'll just get worse, stop letting her get away with it!!

kaitlinktm · 03/01/2017 10:13

I would just leave your DH to it - as he is so keen - and let him do you a massive favour by getting her out of your home and your life.

CalmItKermitt · 03/01/2017 10:14

Fgs just tell her to go and never darken your door again!

Original poster
SeriousCreativeBlock · 03/01/2017 10:14

There honestly isn't more to this. It's been a sudden change. She's still not up and I have to go out in 10 minutes so not sure where to go from here.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 03/01/2017 10:15

What possible hold does she have over you that you won't tell her to sod off when she behaves like this in your house?!

inlectorecumbit · 03/01/2017 10:16

Go waken her up then-say your piece and go out.. Let her think on what you have said.....

Manumission · 03/01/2017 10:16

Knock on her bedroom door!

deblet · 03/01/2017 10:16

You don't have a friend. You have invited that bitchy women (you know the type we all avoid at the school gates) to come and stay. You need to open your eyes and let your DP tell her to go while you pack up her things. Make it a mission in 2017 to find a real friend.

OnionKnight · 03/01/2017 10:17

Wake her up and tell her to get her shit and leave.

DearMrDilkington · 03/01/2017 10:17

Leave her a note asking her to leave by the time you get home. Job done.

Inertia · 03/01/2017 10:17

Sorry for your loss- it's doubly hard to deal with people like your friend when you are already grieving and feeling vulnerable.

None of what your friend is doing is acceptable. Her targeting of your daughter is most worrying, but dictating her stay and endlessly criticising you are not acceptable either. And threatening to snapchat your brother is just bizarre- what's he got to do with it?

To be honest, it might be best to let your partner deal with ejecting your friend - it sounds like you will struggle to get her to listen to you.

HerodZackHunt · 03/01/2017 10:18

She has a home to go to? There's no reason to stay at yours then is there if you're a pair of degenerate maniacs Hmm who keep such a messy fridge. You'd be doing her a favour by sending her on her way...
And never letting her visit again.

CakeyMcCakey · 03/01/2017 10:19

OP this is your daughters home. You are allowing her to be bullied and picked on in the one place she should feel safe.

If you aren't going to stick up for yourself then at least stick up for her!

mylittlephoney · 03/01/2017 10:19

Leave a note. Please be gone by the time I get back. I've put up with enough shite this Christmas without yours added to it. Goodbye.
Good luck op

LagunaBubbles · 03/01/2017 10:19

You're not going to ask her to leave?? Confused

HerodZackHunt · 03/01/2017 10:20

*sex maniacs obviously.

Fontella · 03/01/2017 10:20

You might as well go and lie down by the door and let her wipe her feet on you!

You are the epitome of the word 'doormat'!

Just tell her to get the fuck up and out of bed, out of your house and out of your life.

CoraPirbright · 03/01/2017 10:23

Leave her a note asking her to leave by the time you get home. Job done.

Ah ha! I like that!! Do that OP - and tell her, in the note, exactly why her behaviour has been unnacceptable. Also, as pp's have suggested, I would def let a few mutual friends know what has happened. I think it quite likely that she will tell people about the incident and she would not make you look like the injured party!

BelfastBloke · 03/01/2017 10:23

.

Wishforsnow · 03/01/2017 10:23

If she is in your living room did she not wake up when you were getting breakfast for your dd and getting ready to go out? Is your DH not angry at her behaviour or does he say nothing too? Tell her you need her out today.

ChristmasEvePJs · 03/01/2017 10:25

She has to go. Another few days of this would be torture.

Blu · 03/01/2017 10:25

Go out, text her and say you will be out all day, DP back at work so it isn't suiting anyone's timetable to be mixing work with holiday, and in the light of her comments last night it isn't suiting anyone to be living in close proximity like this. Didnt get chance to say goodbye, and that in itself shows that it is time to go separate ways this week, please put keys through door.