To have sex in my own house when we have guests?

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My friend and her 4 year old ds turned up at my house for New Years with the intention of staying six days (this is a whole other issue, she knows I have a deadline coming up next week and I am stressed). Her visit, and the last just before Christmas, has been a constant series of put downs ranging from remarking on my father's "failing business", questioning my parenting, naming my dd a sociopath and a "mini Donald Trump" (she's FOUR!) and gaslighting me regarding my mental illness.

This evening, at half 12 at night, dp and I had sex. We were very quiet, although the bed creaks slightly. Afterwards, I went into the kitchen where she launched into a tirade about how I could have waited until her son was asleep.

AIBU to think that a small child should really be asleep at 12:30, and that I should be able to have sex in my own house without being made to feel guilty? I feel like I'm being shamed for having an active sex life.

naice sometimes makes you wonder about people doesn't it ?

sammyislost that is different through. she has overstayed her welcome. she wasn't invited that long. dictated to op on what to do in her own home and even how to decorate it and telling her child off. threatened to speak to her brother she is like a teenager.

it's not hard to explain to a 4 year old. the bed was squeaking because they were probably turning over in their sleep....? she doesnt have to tell him what they are doing! what do you think people who have kids do if their kids hear something? he is 4.... they were playing a game, their bed is broken.... or just simply i don't know!it's not like he saw anything. if she doesn't like it she can leave. me and dh have had sex when guests in the house. we had a guest for 4 months. do we have to be celebate? no if anything is heard which i doubt it was is never spoken about. her friend is BU for even mentioning it and still being there!

OP don't be tpp hard on yourself. you haven't done anything wrong. be kind to your self and get DH to tell her to leave and maybe get your brother to do the same. speak to the friends she text as if they have been encouraging her behaviour i would seriously reconsider the vile friendships.

x

It certainly does, pipsqueak.

Get dp to throw her out

What a twat!!!

Let her stay one more night, have sex with your DP again but don't go out of your way to be quiet or discreet (it's YOUR house!) And kick her out tomorrow. She IS NOT a friend, she's vile and horrible.

And I'm fairly sure she'd be on dodgy legal ground snapchatting your brother you having sex!

There is bigger fish to fry - why wasn't her son asleep at 12.30?

In the meantime you can tell her to you will resolve the situation...with WD40! Lessen the cracks.

Just posting a quick update:

She's not up yet as far as I know, and I need to go out soon. But as soon as she is, I think I'm going to confront her. I don't think I'll ask her to leave JUST yet, but I'm going to ask why she's been behaving this way towards me,.

With regards to people saying I must have been loud if she could hear me: I live in a fairly small, two bedroom flat. She is currently staying in the living room adjacent to our room. We WERE quiet. The only thing was the bed creaking, which she herself admitted. Our television was on, as was the one in the living room.

DP really wants to get involved and tell her off, but I'm trying to hold him off for now.

OP you haven't done anything wrong. I am constantly shocked on here at how other people take the piss and others put up with it. Get rid. Sorry about your miscarriage

if she thinks telling your brother and her friends that a commited couple are having sex in the privacy of their own bedroom in their own house is going to scandalise them that says more about her then you seriously just tell her to go.

Also:
My daughter is up early in the morning, her son goes to bed late at night. DP is at work 8-4. When does she propose we have sex?

She sounds like a controlling bully that is using your house as a crèche to entertain her child until her goes back to school. Get rid.

It's really none of her business when you have sex!

She isent your friend, I wod tell her to get out within the hour and never have her back!

Let your DP get involved and kick her out. She's been completely unreasonable even without the sex thing.

well its really nothing to do with her when you have sex , you can be swinging from the light shades all night long and its still none of her concern?

I think it is she who is the sociopath and she is projecting her faults onto you and your DD to feel better about herself.
Tell everyone you know what she has been like. Then cut all contact, she's toxic. Next, brace yourself for character assassination.

I don't think you having sex in your own house with a guest over is the problem. The problem is your guest is acting like a twat.

The sex doesn't sound like a problem because you tried too keep it to a minimum. And at 12.30am her child should be asleep and she shouldn't making comments. I know people are saying its your house but I'll never forget the awkwardness of sitting in a living room with 5 other people, the lady who's house It was claimed she needed to help her husband upstairs put his cuff links on. Well what happened next was the most awkward and uncomfortable 20 minutes of my life as we listened to banging, bed squeaking , dirty talk and what I could only compare to screams you would hear in porn. I'll never forget one of the guys, desperately trying to put the TV on, failed and tried to talk about the weather and other random crap. After the show was over she came down with her after sex glow and declared
" wow them cuff links took longer than I thought they was tricky! Are we ready too leave now?"
Now that was an awkward atmosphere. although none of us made a comment about what we heard.

Do not hold your dp off from telling her!!

It's not for her to decide when YOU have sex.

Sorry for your loss OP

Seriously, just tell her that something isn't right with your friendship and you're not sure what happened but you need surrounding with love since the miscarriage so could she leave today please

Better still let your DP look after you as he wants to and let him do it for you

I am utterly agog and aghast that people behave this way (not you Op -her).

Are people really this awful ? Why are you ok for her stay ? Tell her to leave immediately , it'll do wonders for your self esteem by taking control.

Let him! She's behaved disgustingly. She doesn't deserve your hospitality.