To be so angry with DP?

[Rinmybell]

Our 5week old DS was hospitalised this week and ofcourse it was a very sad/scary time. I stayed at the hospital with him - not leaving once.
(Good news) we came home last night and I was so excited too have a New Year's Eve in with the children and DP. The house was in such a state when I came home. But I chose to overlook it and decided I'd sort it today after DS2's hospital appointment.
However literally 10 mins of me walking through the door, I was ambushed with demands requests.
For example, the washing up, clean his work shirts, tidy the living room, etc. It really pissed me off as during all of this I was feeding, especially as due to being so poorly he was mostly syringe fed, so he's getting used to bf again so a lot of readjusting his latch etc.
Then comes bed time and ofcourse DS2 doesn't want to settle in his cradle. No surprises there's he's been cuddled non stop for a week, is still poorly still fitted with 2 canulas, so on.
DP was snappy and moody because in all honesty -I'm ashamed to say- he wanted to dtd and the attention I was showing DS2 was getting in the way of that.
I have woken up today so, so angry. And not sure if I even want to speak to him particularly. How can he be so selfish?
I don't want too 'LTB' but honestly his selfishness and lack of help is next level so maybe my choices are limited.
I can just about cope with the amount of housework and his stroppiness when both children are well
Am I overreacting?!

It's not that simple though. I didn't realise DP was an abusive arsehole until after my second was born. I'd been so blind to it, and so isolated from everybody. It had just become normal.

SortAllTheThings you don't have to justify anything. Like a pp said, we don't have a crystal ball. People change/show true colours at later dates.
I certainly didn't know and the wake up call most certainly has been my 2nd born also.

Sorry, I'm getting a bit caught up. Too many similarities.

Jesus what a pig

Poole, you are looking at it the wrong way. They aren't 'enabling' the behaviour or giving it some kind of tacit approval, often it's only when the chips are really down and things are really tough we work out who people really are and how strong our relationships are. The op is a prime example of that.

Poole is right when you are in front of you someone who is behaving like a twat but is somehow still a decent human being.
So they do as little as they can get away with but when reminded or with boundaries, they do change their behaviour.
It doesn't apply to someone who is abusive and will NOT change their behaviour regardless of how many boundaries you are putting or what your behaviour is.

It is also worth remembering that pregnancy, and not always the very first one, is often a trigger to the abuse to start. And abusers are never the awful guy that is making you miserable right from the start. Actually they often aren't like this all the time either. Otherwise no women would stay with said abuser in the first place!

I'm glad you seem to be sorting things out, OP, although obviously I'm sorry your relationship has not turned out well.

Glad to hear your updates too and that you have support.