Sharing inheritance

[NaughtyNC]

NC. Curious about this one.

My great aunt has left me about large sum of money.

She has 8 great nieces and nephews - i am the only great niece. My family (not my parents, they are going to split equally) are very much “money is left to males” only. My cousins hadn’t seen her in the ten (fifteen years for some) years before she died. I visited every time I could, helped with the house and went on holiday together twice a year, plus had her stay in London twice a year for a couple of days each time.

I didn't know anything about the money, or that she had that much. Apparently she spoke to my brother about it (he's an executor to the will) and my parents have known for years but didn't tell me incase she changed her mind.

My aunt has gone ape shite and wants me to share the money with her two boys (well all of them, but says it's unfair on her two boys). My brother has told me not to be a dick because her two boys both received 60,000 when my granddad died (they all did) and i received sweet FA. At that time there was no mention of any of them splitting the money with me. All the boys will receive the house and my nana’s savings when she dies.

What would you do?

I was going to suggest saying "Oh wonderful, that's great news that we will now be sharing inheritance equally. I'll await my percentage of the previous lump sums then" but since you say your inheritance is worth more, I will just join everybody else in suggesting you tell her to get tae fuck.

You need to shut her down in such a way that she understands it is non negotiable. A note to the following effect should do the trick: "You were happy to honour previous family wills, even when I was completely overlooked. My aunt has not left this money to me by accident. We enjoyed a close relationship over the years and it was her express wish that I benefit solely from her estate. Perhaps you are upset that this does not fit with your tradition of only males inheriting. Neither my aunt nor I share those ethics so it bears no relevance to her will whatsoever. Please do not bring the subject up again as it is not up for discussion."

Your great aunt sounds kick ass by the way.

Sounds like she made that decision very consciously. I think you should respect her wishes and so should they.

Slightly o/t. As a trainee forty years ago I acted in the probate of a chap who had started life with nothing, and left many millions. About two years before he died his wife and his only son and only child were killed in separate accidents on the same day - a tragic business.

After that he became very "dynastic" and got into researching his family background - long before the internet made it popular. He was the only son as were his father and his father's father; but his great-grandfather had three brothers. And he left this enormous estate to the male-line marital descendants of his great-great-grandfather - that is, to the descendants bearing his surname, Finding them was fun, and I got a lot of help from female descendants and ^their* male and female descendants who were not going to see any of the money but were happy to help me trace Cousin Charlie and his son.

One of the other trainees thought the will was unfair and the law should not allow it but the rest of us (of both genders) disagreed and said it was his money and his choice. And I still think we were right.

She can get to fuck! Ask her where this sharing idea was when you got nothing from your GF.

Enjoy your money OP.

Keep it OP, no discussion needed!

Fairs fair!! They didn't play fair then neither should you!!!

Say nothing. Keep it. Nothing to do with her.

You will be setting an example, respecting your GA, not giving into a bully, not propagating an outdated sexist practise etc etc

Honestly, doing anything other than nothing would be wrong on every level.

Don't be bullied into giving your inheritance away. She gave it to you for good reason and would have wanted you to benefit from it. They're not entitled to anything. This is yours.

Keep the whole lot of it your great aunt wanted you to have it all and no one else so tell your aunty to A) keep her nose out and B) to kindly fuck off. Where was your share when your grandad died that's what I would be asking your aunty.

I also think your 'decent brother' sounds fab! As does your great aunt.

Enjoy your inheritance, your relationship with your great aunt obviously meant a great deal to her.

Go with what Bluebird on my shoulder says.

I’m gobsmacked at the unfairness of the previous wills.

Keep it. bluebird's reply is excellent.

Their "share" of the inheritance should reflect the closeness of their relationship to her. I'd send them all a postal-order for a fiver just to make a point. And then, never discuss it ever again.

I can't believe your aunt is being so crass! Well, now you have the measure of her you'd be quite justified in never speaking to her ever again.

It's absolutely true, money and inheritance can bring out the very worst in some people. And those "some people" need to be avoided at all costs.

Enjoy your inheritance and put it to good use.

A friend of my wife's spent ages caring for her mother and father when they were elderly while her brother did sweet fuck all. When they died he inherited everything because he was the male relative. It's so wrong.

That's sad Dr but your wife's friend was so much richer for being there for her parents and knowing she had that precious time with them. I bet her DBro has twinges of regret, even if he doesn't admit it....

^A friend of my wife's spent ages caring for her mother and father when they were elderly while her brother did sweet fuck all. When they died he inherited everything because he was the male relative. It's so wrong.
In your shoes I'd keep your inheritance and tell your Aunt to get lost.^

DrDre I am confused. You seem to be saying that freedom to leave your property as you see fit was wrong in one case and right in the other. I think it is right in both.

Enjoy it without any guilt. If you succumb to giving them some of your share you are basically saying the men are more superior to you as they seem to think.

Your GA was switched on and did what she thought was right. You gave her your time in life and in death she gave you her money. Enjoy.

Andrewofgg are you really confused? That someone might find it morally wrong to leave money according to the sex of their relatives? It's legal in this country, sure. But I find it morally wrong too.

Keep the money op, it's yours and you can't please everybody. Even if you did share it there would probably be someone who wasn't happy for what ever reason.

If your aunt had wanted anyone else to get a share of her monies, she would have left it them. She left you a gift that is yours alone, and don't even think about sharing it with others who are pressuring you into doing so. That's really disrespectful to your aunt if nothing else. She clearly loved you a great deal, and as such, has made you a wonderful gift that was intended with love. Enjoy every penny and think of her as you do so is my advice.

It's yours and yours only. Do not share it with anyone!

It sounds like she's done this to even things up and ensure you, who made an effort to spend time with her, inherited. Keep it all and don't feel guilty about it.

Is anyone else getting an image of a wee old women giggling away, while writing out her will? I'm thinking of her delight in knowing that the males in the family will not get what they feel they are 'entitled' to. I love your great aunt.

PovertyPain In fairness to "the males of the family" the OP says that the male cousins concerned may not even know about it yet and that it is their mother who is acting entitled on their behalf. She is probably not one of the males of the family!

Andrew If the mother of the male cousins, the aunt, is kicking off at the OP like this, I would be more inclined to believe that the cousins do in fact know about the inheritance.

KEEP IT