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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing inheritance

162 replies

NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 20:00

NC. Curious about this one.

My great aunt has left me about large sum of money.

She has 8 great nieces and nephews - i am the only great niece. My family (not my parents, they are going to split equally) are very much “money is left to males” only. My cousins hadn’t seen her in the ten (fifteen years for some) years before she died. I visited every time I could, helped with the house and went on holiday together twice a year, plus had her stay in London twice a year for a couple of days each time.

I didn't know anything about the money, or that she had that much. Apparently she spoke to my brother about it (he's an executor to the will) and my parents have known for years but didn't tell me incase she changed her mind.

My aunt has gone ape shite and wants me to share the money with her two boys (well all of them, but says it's unfair on her two boys). My brother has told me not to be a dick because her two boys both received 60,000 when my granddad died (they all did) and i received sweet FA. At that time there was no mention of any of them splitting the money with me. All the boys will receive the house and my nana’s savings when she dies.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Crumbs1 · 31/12/2016 21:24

Tell her you've decided to give it all to charity so not to expect anything and go have a fabulous holiday to drink a toast to your great aunt.

JustWoman · 31/12/2016 21:27

Keep it and don't let her make you feel guilty for it.
If your aunt wanted the boys to have it, she'd have left them a share.

User543212345 · 31/12/2016 21:28

So you have an answer - match what your decent DB has set aside for your feckless DB and use the rest for yourself if you need to make an appeasement to your family. Giving it to your cousins would be bonkers.

Bettercallsaul1 · 31/12/2016 21:28

It is fair in all ways that you keep your whole inheritance. Firstly, because you actually cared enough about your great aunt to maintain an affectionate relationship with her - whereas your cousins didn't - and secondly, because your cousins did not share any of their previous substantial inheritance with you. Your aunt is angry because she was obviously expecting your great aunt's will to follow the sexist tradition of the others and cut you out. This reaction is completely unreasonable and distasteful by any normal standards. Stay true to your great aunt's benign and enlightened attitude and strike a blow for female dignity and value!

VladmirsPoutine · 31/12/2016 21:29

Tell them to get to fuck. It's your money though I suspect you're leaving out large chunks of the story.

Andrewofgg · 31/12/2016 21:29

Tell auntie to get a fucking grip.

If she disagrees, be really rude to her.

RandomMcRandomface · 31/12/2016 21:29

Another one saying keep it!

Sounds like there are some really unhealthy family dynamics at play re the Aunt.

TheLuckyMrsPine · 31/12/2016 21:30

Do not share it. It would be disrespectful to your great aunt. She made the will to reflect her clear wishes. Others may not like it but it's not their decision. Your brother has given you wise advice.

MelbourneClown03 · 31/12/2016 21:31

The flippin' brass neck of some people Shock

It's your money, as per you GA's wishes. Remind her how you got zilch after your grandfather died but respected his last wishes, none the less. You'd appreciate it if she could now do the same with regards to your GA's last wishes.

KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile · 31/12/2016 21:31

Not one person here has said to share it. Not one. The only person I would consider giving anything to would be the nice brother, the irony being he probably wouldn't take it. Can't your Mum (Dad) tell her (his) sister to do one?!

midsomermurderess · 31/12/2016 21:32

NaughtyNC?

Lovewineandchocs · 31/12/2016 21:32

The total of what she has left me is more than they will get from my grandmother and grandfathers estates

This makes me so happy Grin

YetAnotherUser · 31/12/2016 21:35

You should give them all a share.

I would suggest using the inheritance to buy them all massive dildos, so they can all go fuck themselves. Keep the rest to yourself.

Bettercallsaul1 · 31/12/2016 21:35

Excellent!

WitchSharkadder · 31/12/2016 21:36

Agree can't moletely that you should keep it. Your Great Aunt obviously recognised that the sexist family 'tradition' was horrendous and loved you and cherished the close relationship the two of you had, that's why she left the money to you. Enjoy it.

WitchSharkadder · 31/12/2016 21:36

Grin Yet!

PragmaticWench · 31/12/2016 21:36

OP, make sure you have made a will for yourself too, it's really important.

Bettercallsaul1 · 31/12/2016 21:36

That was agreeing with Lovewine, by the way... Grin

Original poster
NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 21:37

midsomermurderess

Naughty Name Change - I'm a bit tipsy - I feel a bit cheeky asking for opinions from interwebs rather than IRL friends.

OP posts:
Lynnm63 · 31/12/2016 21:37

Tell your aunt to fuck off. It was your Great Aunts money and now it's your money and that's the end of it.
Tell her you must have missed the memo when the grabby cow was making her boys give you a share of the first inheritance.

Original poster
NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 21:39

Yet

I don't actually know if my cousins even know about it yet. And, I think it is only me, my parents and my Decent Bro that know the amount...

OP posts:
greenfolder · 31/12/2016 21:41

Your great aunt sounds fab. I bet it gave her a great amount of pleasure in her later years knowing what she was planning. Keep it.

SabineUndine · 31/12/2016 21:43

It's yours. Keep every bloody penny of it. Yours to secure your future and do what you want with. Your aunt can shove her grabby hands where the sun doesn't shine.

bloodyteenagers · 31/12/2016 21:45

Keep it. Cannot believe people still buy into the crap about only inheriting to males. Makes no sense that those with cocks need extra money. It's nasty, and even more so when it excludes one person. Ideally things should be split fairly but your aunt is trying to do that single handedly possibly from knowing that it was like in your shoes years ago when she wouldn't have inherited, but the males did.

OnionKnight · 31/12/2016 21:47

Tell her to take a running jump.

Do not share your money.