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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing inheritance

162 replies

NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 20:00

NC. Curious about this one.

My great aunt has left me about large sum of money.

She has 8 great nieces and nephews - i am the only great niece. My family (not my parents, they are going to split equally) are very much “money is left to males” only. My cousins hadn’t seen her in the ten (fifteen years for some) years before she died. I visited every time I could, helped with the house and went on holiday together twice a year, plus had her stay in London twice a year for a couple of days each time.

I didn't know anything about the money, or that she had that much. Apparently she spoke to my brother about it (he's an executor to the will) and my parents have known for years but didn't tell me incase she changed her mind.

My aunt has gone ape shite and wants me to share the money with her two boys (well all of them, but says it's unfair on her two boys). My brother has told me not to be a dick because her two boys both received 60,000 when my granddad died (they all did) and i received sweet FA. At that time there was no mention of any of them splitting the money with me. All the boys will receive the house and my nana’s savings when she dies.

What would you do?

OP posts:
smellyboot · 31/12/2016 20:51

Its all yours to keep as that was her express wish. End of story

ChristmasTreats · 31/12/2016 20:51

Out or interest will you end up better off than of you have been treated equally. Not that I would get a kick out of that!

MazDazzle · 31/12/2016 20:52

Enjoy it. It's yours.

I inherited a share of a complicated estate and was all set to hand it over to someone else. Luckily MN made me see sense!

It is what your aunt wanted. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that other people in your family aren't happy for you and are causing you grief. Their behaviour is awful!

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 31/12/2016 20:53

Inheritance should go to whoever the person wanted it to go to (obviously done within sound mind etc). If your great aunt wanted to give it to 'the boys' then she would have done

bookeatingboy · 31/12/2016 20:53

She wanted you to have the money, it really is that simple, she clearly cared deeply for you and it sounds like you worked hard to keep her in your life. This will be the reason she want you, and you alone to have her money.

You will be going against her wishes if you give the DN's a share, do you really want to do that... I wouldn't, it's disrespectful!

Go make a happy life for yourself, it's what she would want you to do.

YouMeanYouForgotCranberriesToo · 31/12/2016 20:54

Keep it!

I can't believe people think it's ok for money to only go to men! Do they think it's still Jane Austen times? (Too tired to think when that actually was)

Longdistance · 31/12/2016 20:56

It's in writing in the Will. It has fuck all do with your Aunt.

It's yours, enjoy Smile

DinosaursRoar · 31/12/2016 20:57

Keep it!

I'd tell your Aunt "Apparently Great Aunt was trying to compensate for me being left out of Granddad's will - and I'll be offering them the same percentage of that they offered to me, nothing."

Miserylovescompany2 · 31/12/2016 20:57

The money was left to you OP. Exactly as your great aunt intended. Ignore the money grabbing so-called-family! Had your GA wished to leave her money to others, she would have done so in the first instance.

Be true to your great aunt. Keep the money.

Original poster
NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 20:58

Tell her to go fuck herself.

That's what I was thinking.

My parents weren't happy with the GF situation either. Particularly as my other brother (total fucking meth head brother) was given money which he fucked away in no time at all...

OP posts:
LemonyFresh · 31/12/2016 21:02

Are you the only relative who has received inheritance?

Benedikte2 · 31/12/2016 21:02

I expect your great aunt took great pleasure in knowing that her money would go to you -- her little secret. Respect her wishes.
Used also to be the custom with farming families to leave twice as much to sons as to daughters! When I saw those wills and trust deeds it made me seethe.

JsOtherHalf · 31/12/2016 21:05

My two uncles both inherited farms. Their sisters got a few hundred £.

:(

LondonRoo · 31/12/2016 21:07

Sounds to me that your great aunt valued your relationship and wanted you to inherit her money and/or that she wanted to correct the imbalance of previous inheritances given to male family wishes. Regardless, she made her wishes clear so your family should respect it and you should enjoy her parting gift to you without any sense of guilt.

Oldraver · 31/12/2016 21:07

Seems to me your Great Aunt was trying to redress the previous imbalance. Did anyone, including your DB share their inheritance ?

Please tell me your GA's estate makes up for you being excluded ? I mean who does that these days

User543212345 · 31/12/2016 21:09

If the money only goes to men in your family then I think her position, as a woman with money is actually really important. I suspect she has been overlooked in the past because of her lack of penis and is making her stand after her death. Every fucking penny is yours - your male cousins don't share their inheritances - so you being expected to is fucking bollocks. Excuse the swearing. She is exempt from the men inherit thing because she's a woman, therefore even if their patriarchal nonsense had basis she can't follow it through because she's a woman. Their argument holds no logic.

Keep it. Screw them.

RubbishMantra · 31/12/2016 21:13

That "male inheritance" thing makes me Angry

DH's grandmother wasn't allowed in family photographs, because she'd re-married after her husband left her for another woman and divorced her, and no longer shared the same surname. And that was FIL's decision, who she'd birthed!

So, OP, go along with your great aunts' wishes. Accept the legacy she left you. She wanted you to have it.

LanaorAna1 · 31/12/2016 21:14

No. Your aunt is greedy. Don't enter into discussion or you'll have to point this out. If you're forced into a discussion, tell them you've spent it.

A nasty family you've got anyway, with the sexism, so I'm afraid it's no surprise the claws have popped out for the cash after they ignored the old lady.

Lovewineandchocs · 31/12/2016 21:16

Please please please keep it all and don't give in to bullying. Sharing it would be disrespectful to the stand that your aunt was trying to make against shameful outdated attitudes-splitting the money with males would be a great insult to that.

peggyundercrackers · 31/12/2016 21:19

Tell her to go fuck herself, your aunt wants it to go to you hence the reason for her will. People get grabby when family die and there is money floating about - all your aunt cares about is money, not your great aunt or you.

Original poster
NaughtyNC · 31/12/2016 21:19

"Please tell me your GA's estate makes up for you being excluded"

The total of what she has left me is more than they will get from my grandmother and grandfathers estates.

The money wasn't family money - it was money she earned.

Nobody shared my GF estate with me - however, my decent DB never spent that money - he put it into an account in case my other brother ever decided he would go to rehab (so we could pay privately).

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 31/12/2016 21:20

How would you feel if you made a will and it was ignored? Keep the money.

ArcheryAnnie · 31/12/2016 21:22

Tell your aunt to go fuck herself that she is disrespecting your Great Aunt's wishes by pressuring you to hand over money that your Great Aunt very clearly did not want handed over.

Enjoy your inheritance, OP. You sound like you had a lovely relationship with your Great Aunt.

Laineymc7 · 31/12/2016 21:22

It was her will and she left it to you not them. Do not give them any.

Larrytheleprechaun · 31/12/2016 21:23

Sharing out the money with them will go against your Aunts wishes. She wanted you to have it or she would have given it to the others.

I think the suggestion of telling your Aunt to go and fuck herself is very appropriate.