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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family no longer coming to stay (head lice-related)

302 replies

boobashka · 30/12/2016 13:03

My brother and his family are in the UK for the holidays staying with my parents (2hours away). Since October the plan has been that they will come to ours for 3 days over New Year. So I have filled the fridge, booked a meal out, and in the last couple of days cleaned house from top to bottom and organised beds and bedding for everyone - 11 people including my other DB. I discovered head lice in myself and DD yesterday - promptly treated with Full Marks and thorough combing with the fine tooth nit comb. Now my brother and his wife no longer want to come here to stay in case their two DC (age 4 and 2) contract nits.
AIBU to be think that their decision is super selfish? My mum has been on the phone in tears (first time all her grandchildren were to be together) and my two DC are upset to not be spending time with their little cousins.

OP posts:
Original poster
boobashka · 30/12/2016 15:20

So while I think telling someone is the right thing to do, I would not actually really expect anyone to stay away. Just gives them a chance to maybe make sure hair is tied up and they have some of that tea tree lice repellent spray on or something if they feel the need.

^This

OP posts:
Footle · 30/12/2016 15:21

AuntieMay, the other lazy bastard parent didn't know his or her child had nits until it was too late. Nor did you.

ChristmasCava · 30/12/2016 15:23

Gosh- what an over reaction!
Head lice love me and I have had them loads in my life time [more than your average person]. Yes- pain in arse but if treated what an earth is the problem?
Stupid people....
Set your Mum on them...

321zerobaby · 30/12/2016 15:26

I think you've dodged a bullet. 3 days with family is way too long, ime, and also from reading all the post Christmas threads.

Whatslovegottodo · 30/12/2016 15:28

I am baffled by this. It's headlice all kids get them at some point, and you have treated them! Teacher are in a room all the time and seem to manage. I'm married to a doctor who is the most laid back person in the world about bugs and germs, I imagined it went with the job! I will stay away from someone with a heavy cold or tummy bugs, but not nits fgs! They don't jump either so if they are that concerned just don't put heads near the kids. Sounds an excuse to me, they will be encountering up close and personal problems all day long far worse than nits at work!

KERALA1 · 30/12/2016 15:31

Also enjoying the earnest "nits on a plane" concern. Envisioning nit nurse air hostesses picking through passengers hair and grounding the plane due to fearsome sight of a nit in a child's hair.

Pixel · 30/12/2016 15:31

I'm 50 and never had them until last year when ds also got them for the first time (aged 15). I got rid of ds's just with conditioner and combing as I was worried about using chemicals due to his aversion to hair washing (he has ASD and no longer small enough to wrap in a towel and hold over the bath!). I then realised it was late and there was no more conditioner but a quick Google revealed that Listerine was good so I used that on myself and it worked a treat.

Nits do seem to be more widespread than they used to be. I reckon there are a few reasons. Firstly I think central heating helps them to breed, same as with fleas, and not only do people have their homes very warm now but schools also seem to be very hot and stuffy. Also we used to sit at separate desks to work, not huddled together as children often do now. It is rare for there to be any nits at ds's SN school and I think that's because children on the spectrum tend to keep themselves to themselves. Ds is very affectionate at home but he wouldn't dream of hugging his classmates.

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 15:33

I would have had second thoughts too about coming- sorry. I am in my 50s and never had nits, neither have my kids ( now older teens).

ArseyTussle · 30/12/2016 15:39

Sorry OP, I'm happy to go with the flow regarding lots of minging things kids are afflicted with, but DD's never had headlice and I wouldn't come.

A few months ago I could have offered you impetigo as a trade off. Grin

FurryDogMother · 30/12/2016 15:40

I'm thinking that there must have been a time decades back when nits were very rare - because I'm yet another person in her late 50s who has never had nits, nor did anyone I knew at school, as far as I know. It can't be a coincidence that there are at least 4 of us of a similar age saying this on this thread?

TheCatsWhiskers · 30/12/2016 15:46

It's completely ridiculous. I'm very sorry OP, I don't have any advice really, you must feel very hurt.

Agree with 321zerobaby though you may have dodged a bullet if this is the way they behave.

You can't control how others treat you but try to enjoy the rest of your time with your DH and children.

Original poster
boobashka · 30/12/2016 15:50

I'm trying to view this as 'dodging a bullet' as a few PPs have said.
Families, eh? Confused

OP posts:
Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 15:50

furrydog- we did have the nit nurse at school when we were young. Kids were singled out after regular inspections and sent home with a bottle of lotion a comb and a letter.
These inspections have been abandoned. I wonder if that is a reason why more lice.

MerryMarigold · 30/12/2016 15:53

As doctors, I assume they are things which are a lot more contagious and a lot more dangerous than nits. What kind of docs are they?? I am not sure what I'd do really. It is utterly ridiculous.

As a PP said, it is worth the small risk that they may be caught as it's hardly the end of the world, and by no means a foregone conclusion. My kids are 11 and 8yo twins. We have never had nits, despite constant letters home from school that they are 'going round' and dd has very long hair, but always tied back. Somehow they haven't had them and all have plenty of friends, so really I don't think it is likely the nits would be caught so easily.

galaxygirl45 · 30/12/2016 15:53

I feel really sorry you've been let down so badly with such little thought. Families really are over rated at times Hmm

MerryMarigold · 30/12/2016 15:54

As doctors, I assume they are AROUND things which are a lot more contagious/ dangerous than nits.

MerryMarigold · 30/12/2016 15:55

Also, I am 43 and never had nits. Maybe we have naturally nit-free hair. We should get it genetically reproduced Grin.

Oh, and if my dniece had nits, we would still go and visit at Christmas even though we see her a lot throughout the year.

Robinkitty · 30/12/2016 16:05

I've never had nits, kids have had them a couple of times.
If it were me I'd still visit, especially as you've treated them and sound responsible, what a shame for you.
Couldn't they just spritz their hair with tea tree oil, keep it tied back etc.

Bitlost · 30/12/2016 16:05

I think you were right to tell them. DD had lice recently and I cancelled a sleep over she was supposed to go to. I would expect the same from her friends' parents if I were the host. So I do understand your family's reaction even though they could have weighed the pros and the cons as they don't see you that often! Overall, bit of an over reaction!

AmberStClare · 30/12/2016 16:10

OP, they sound as mad as a basket of ferrets. Tell them to, visit you, shave heads in preparation for long haul flights, no infection passed simple.

witsender · 30/12/2016 16:10

Why won't the others still come?

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/12/2016 16:12

Massive overreaction. I would text that I'm disappointed etc.

clumsyduck · 30/12/2016 16:12

Massive over reaction they could gets from nursery next week !

Also you could just whack another lot of shampoo on you and dd just to make sure it would be fine .

How disappointing for you

clumsyduck · 30/12/2016 16:13

Get bits *

clumsyduck · 30/12/2016 16:13

Jesus ! NITS !!!

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