AIBU to get annoyed when people turn up at the door unannounced (including family)?

[Itsacakebaby]

What are your views on this? You then feel obliged to let them in (interrupting my plans!!). It irritatates me alot. I just think it's damn right rude but my OH says I should "chill out" and be more relaxed about it - easier said then done.

[Sassypants82]

I love when people drop by!

[LynetteScavo]

If my house were always tidy and I was always dressed it would be fine.

I don't mind my side of the family dropping by...it's when they bring their friends with them it gives me the range.

[WilburIsSomePig]

I hate it.

I'm a reasonably sociable person and we entertain at home a lot so it's not that I don't like people in my house, but I like to know they're coming.

If someone rings or texts and says they'll be dropping in in an hour - fine. Gives me time to make sure the place is presentable and I'm not slobbing around without my bra. Which I do. A lot.

[RedNoseRumble]

I would never just call on someone unannounced so don't like it when people do the same to me.

Some days I love a lazy morning, pj's on until late. FIL sometimes calls at random times, unannounced but doesn't knock, he'll look through the front window! I hate that!

[WilburIsSomePig]

I've just remembered what my friend does - she puts her coat on and grabs her car keys whenever someone comes to the door and does the whole 'oh I wish you'd called, I'm just on my way out' thing.

[tooclosetocall]

I don't like it and I don't do it to others. Having a new baby was the worst for it as MIL treated my home as an open house.

[Amithenormalone]

I don't mind people dropping in. I do get irritated when people turn up when I am not in then I get phone calls and messages asking why am not in that they have called round and generally not happy am not in. If you don't want to turn up when we aren't in then a quick text call to check we will be in would work out far better. Mil pops round once in a blue moon on a Sunday and expects us to stay in every Sunday just in case she comes really annoys me.

[KissingAFool]

Loup! Tell us more! What are you doing in bearland??

[Catsize]

cigars, I just find it odd and kind of entitled. I can't believe they had to do a church announcement!
One person stayed for 1hr 45mins. Mum not assertive enough to get rid of people, Dad too poorly to object. People don't notice how he deteriorates during visits either. Or they are selfish and don't care. I am not allowed to interfere either. Sometimes I drop not very subtle hints to visitors, but they go unheard and unheeded.

[Lateralthinker2016]

I always thought it rude and bad manners, and when I complained about family doing it- I was told they "shouldn't have to make an appointment"
If I'm not inconsiderate enough to do it, I won't have it done to me.

[ChristmasEvePJs]

I absolutely can't stand dropperinners!

If I am working from home I can often have private papers over the kitchen table etc... FIL is incapable of not looking!

[SaucyJack]

Hate it.

Luckily for us we live in a fairly large block of flats, so I just don't buzz anyone in downstairs if we're not expecting takeaway guests.

[LumelaMme]

YABU. You don't HAVE to ask them in. I'm regularly very busy/trying to cook tea/just about to go out, and will say so if that's the case, but if I'm not, I'll put the kettle on.

[SantasJockStrap]

I hate it

We once had three members of husbands family turn up unannounced whilst we were hosting a dinner party for 8.

It was awkward and ruined the atmosphere, and they wouldn't take the hint - we couldn't seat them, or feed them

[Operation2035]

I love when people drop in for afternoon tea! I don't tend to do it myself though, I think it is probably best to ask first and plan because not everybody who doesn't appreciate unplanned visitors will say so to your face. A quick ring just to check that they are happy to see you doesn't take long. I definitely love a spontaneous tea and cake, but I also respect that not everybody else does.

[BertrandRussell]

As usual in threads like this, "people" is frequently synonymous with "in laws"!

[NorksAkimbo72]

I'm not a fan of the drop in any more after some irritating family visits. DH's brother and sil used to do it all the time...and it was always just at tea time or the dcs bedtime. Drove me crazy, and they never got that it was an inconvenient time. Worse though, MIL used to rock up announced on a Friday with a suitcase to stay for the weekend (she lives 20 minutes away)! I love her, but she stays and doesn't lift a finger, so when the dcs were younger, it meant the weekend was manic instead of relaxed.
None of them do it any more...I suspect lovely DH had a word...

[Cherryskypie]

No, it's not. It's pretty well established on MN that there's a split between those who like people 'dropping in' and those that hate it. Those that hate it don't tend to like their own parents doing it.

Any mention of ILs, even in passing, is like the bat signal to you Bertrand

[BertrandRussell]

"Any mention of ILs, even in passing, is like the bat signal to you Bertrand"

It's just really funny.

[BackforGood]

Thought of this thread half an hour ago, when I'd got the contents of 3 sacks of 'stuff my teen is putting out' spread all over the living room carpet, so I could sort into charity shop / pass to friends / bin / rag-man / etc. piles. Doorbell rang. A friend from Church. Fab - I just said - "doing a bit of clearing out", and we had a coffee (whilst I carried on sorting) and a chat. It was lovely. Brightened up my morning to think someone wanted to see me and felt comfortable enough in my home that they knew they would be welcome anytime.

tbh, I'm less keen on people that make arrangements in advance, and then expect your house to be all tidy, and that you've gone out and bought biscuits / cake specially, that you've then got 2 hours when you are not doing anything else, etc. Take up far more time than calling on the off chance and taking us as you find us.

[Lovelybangers]

We I am currently having a long bath ti try and get rid of a blazing hangover.

I would be mightily pissed off if visitors turned up unannounced right now.

It's rude and there is no need for it these days as most people have a phone with which to call/text to check it is convenient.

[Cherryskypie]

I can't stand drop ins. Give me 30 minutes notice and I'm fine. That applies to everyone. Even DH sometimes

[DollyPlastic]

No one has ever done this to me, and I wouldn't expect anyone to ever do it.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

My house is like Clapham Junction. Two young adult DS and me, all liking surprise visitors. Some of our closest friends even let themselves in through the back door. I live in cheerful chaos and love seeing people. I'm a bit of an introvert and much prefer one to one conversations in my kitchen as opposed to group gatherings. Seeing all my friends on their own is my ideal.