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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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15
Sidge · 28/12/2016 17:06

I think it's odd.

If you pop by a friend's house unannounced at 1000 and catch them in their PJs or dressing gown that's one thing, but to deliberately be in your nightwear at 1600 having invited people around is just weird.

I'm all for a lazy pyjama day but if I knew someone was coming round I'd get dressed.

But then I don't understand people who get up, showered, and then get dressed in fresh pyjamas (especially when they're also wearing knickers and a bra). Why not just put clothes on?! If your clothes are so uncomfortable you'd rather be in your PJs then you need new clothes.

lorelairoryemily · 28/12/2016 17:07

Yanbu, that's so weird!!! I'd never invite people around and greet them in my pyjamas. I hated people visiting me in hospital after having my ds purely because I don't like being seen in my pyjamas!

NicknameUsed · 28/12/2016 17:07

"How it it lazy? To get up, shower, clean pjs, start working from home."

So why not put some jogging bottoms and a T-shirt on then? And do you wear them when you have invited guests?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 17:07

How it it lazy? To get up, shower, clean pjs, start working from home

Then why not put clothes on ? As someone else said what on earth do all the "pyjamas are so comfortable " brigade wear? Tightly laced corsets over a hair shirt?

And the other thing I don't understand is - pyjamas are meant to worn in bed under duvets and blankets. To be able to sit around in my pjyamas in the day time I'd have to turn the heating up.

Xmasbloat · 28/12/2016 17:07

It's all about standards. Are these peoples standards compatible with your own?

orangeraisins · 28/12/2016 17:09

I would have felt really uncomfortable if I'd turned up and everyone was still in their PJs, i would have been worried id turned up on the wrong day!

I would feel far too self conscious to be in my PJs if I had guests round. Particularly Christmas when half the fun is getting dressed up!

LittleWingSoul · 28/12/2016 17:09

ClashCity exactly this... Thin material with no underwear is a disaster really, and I am by no means well endowed on my top half but no bra and a baggy tshirt means there is a lot of jiggling. I'd just be really embarassed!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 28/12/2016 17:11

I wonder if the queen invites dignitaries round Bucky Palace padding about in her Eyore and Pooh bear jammy jams Grin

Lizzylou · 28/12/2016 17:11

I think people may be confusing loungewear and nightwear.

Loungewear is what Artandco describes (I think) and nightwear are PJs/Nighties/Onesies.

Personally I think if you are expecting invited guests then, unless pregnant/recovering from illness you get dressed. If someone just pops by and you happen to be having a lazy day, then they need to suck it up if your appearance isn't up to their standards.

NennyNooNoo · 28/12/2016 17:13

I'd be wondering if I'd misinterpreted the type of party...was there a pampas grass in the front garden?Grin

NicknameUsed · 28/12/2016 17:14

I was wondering as well LIzzylou. I agree with your last point.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 17:14

Well one poster says she hosted an entire Christmas dinner in her pyjamas. I would have spent the day thinking my host was bonkers and wondering when she was going to get dressed.

KatherinaMinola · 28/12/2016 17:16

Yes, I'd find it a little weird too (unless very close family or very close friend and it was an informal visit - so not a specific invitation to a meal or drinks). Or unless I was a houseguest.

Tracksuit absolutely fine though - dressed down doesn't bother me.

talkshowhost97 · 28/12/2016 17:16

The replies on this thread surprise me. I am a very happy wearer of pjs all day long with my family,but if I so much as have the Tesco man coming I can manage to throw on a pair of jeans and a jumper.

YANBU. If you'd dropped round unannounced fair enough, you don't invite people over and stay in your nightwear. I too would have felt that they were either a bit eccentric, depressed or just lazy as fuck!

Sillybillybonker · 28/12/2016 17:17

Are they the type to go to the Asda in their PJs?

NicknameUsed · 28/12/2016 17:18

DD and I dressed up a bit on Christmas day. There was only her, me and OH, but we felt that by making an effort it made the day feel more special.

Wearing pyjamas all day just makes me feel a bit meh and unproductive.

dingdongthewitchishere · 28/12/2016 17:18

Artandco

But WHY would you put on some pjs? Are you trying to save time in the evening when you go to bed? Don't you owe any clothes?

Whilst I still don't get it, in your example at least you are intending to stay home alone, you don't put on pjs when you invited guests over.

dailyshite · 28/12/2016 17:19

You wouldn't lass, because I explained to everyone why I was doing it and they all said fair play because they know how hard I work and how much I love my pyjamas.

I also wouldn't have invited anyone who was going to look down their noses at people because they weren't wearing clothes that met their exacting standards. We had a great day, ate loads, drank a lot, played board games and daft computer games - none of which was affected by the clothes that people were wearing.

dailyshite · 28/12/2016 17:20

Who are 'they' Silly?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 28/12/2016 17:20

Ha ha Nenny Grin
..I have visions of the friends reclining on a chaise longue in their nightwear inviting their guests to "make themselves comfortable, we have the hot tub ready for later" ... Awkward.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 17:21

On the leisurewear/sleepwear/tracksuits point whilst I don't really like tracksuits worn away from a sporting activity they are clearly proper day clothes.

Leisurewear , I'm not so sure about - they still smack of being too intimate.

Much of these for example just look like long johns.

Ladies’ Pure Cashmere Trousers | MaisonCashmere
maisoncashmere.co.uk/cashmere-trousers-ladies?gclid=Cj0KEQiA4o3DBRCJsZqh8vWqt_8BEiQA2Fw0eXmzeK44ux2gP-oFnVrbj6T0SL2RZZbpKqaS8DMKyNsaAsoD8P8HAQ

1horatio · 28/12/2016 17:22

I'm apparently weird. And lazy.. .

Oh well, who cares. I agree, if it's somebody I'm not very close to I'd certainly be dressed in 'actual clothes'. But immediate family or close friends? Not necessarily.

And I wouldn't care if somebody invited me and was still in their pyjamas.

If people are uncomfortable in our house... well, we certainly aren't forcing them to stay.

This thread... mumsnet really is the gift that keeps on giving. Caring too much about other people's opinions is unhealthy, btw. 😉

neveradullmoment99 · 28/12/2016 17:22

Its up to the people who you are visiting but i am afraid i have standards. I would not invite anyone round while being still in my PJ's unless it was my mum/family or was ill.

dingdongthewitchishere · 28/12/2016 17:23

these are all "lounge wear".

Not terribly appropriate to receiving guests either I am afraid.

www.asos.com/women/loungewear/cat/?cid=21867&pgesize=204

Empress13 · 28/12/2016 17:23

Eww I can think of nothing worse than having to avert my eyes from some guy (who I have only met a couple of times on the school run) sitting there with his knob peeping thru the fly hole !!

I'm with you OP bloody lazy and disrepectful. Only way it would be acceptable is if it were a really close family member and you had called in on the off chance.