To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

[Exileinengland1999]

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs

DO people wear really crappy looking pjs then? Mine are black, grey or navy yoga type trousers, and basically long sleeve plain coloured tshirts. With cashmere long cardigan if cold. They don't look any worse or better than day clothes.

Most people's pjs nowadays don't have sweet dreams baby teddy all over them in polkadots

Is it the showering or the pyjamas that are cultural?

That is so sloppy and self-indulgent.

Are we meant to pretend that there aren't standard, well recognised, societal norms' when it comes to 'clothes' then...?

People saying it's perfectly fine to wear your PJs whilst hosting visitors - do you also think it perfectly fine to wear a balaclava & bikini whilst shopping in Tesco...or wearing a ballgown to your DC's sports day. Because, after all they're just clothes...

Because PJs are clothes

Yes, they are clothes one normally wears to go to bed in or to relax in front of the TV, not when you have invited people you barely know round for a Christmas drink

I think that some people take the idea of being casual and relaxed too far, and they lack the social awareness to realise that the message it is conveying is "I CBA to make the effort for my guests because they aren't important to me"

Do these people turn up at job interviews, work and other formal occasions in pyjamas as well?

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Pyjamas are not clothes they are night clothes. Even if they are smart ones, you don't wear underwear. I wouldn't even sit around in my pyjamas with my parents because I'd feel exposed not wearing a bra.

How

The showering/bathing.

That's just weird. Even more weird to me is how many people on here think it's normal. Maybe a generational or regional thing. I am mid 40s and would find it very odd, like the hosts couldn't be bothered.

I would also never wear pyjamas out of the house for the reasons I mentioned above.

Thank you horatio

DH and I sometimes laze round in PJs etc but not if we had guests. I would be showered and dressed for guests- even the man to mend the boiler.
Also, I wouldn't feel comfortable visiting smeone wearing their sleep shorts and a vest top or PJs. Just too intimate really. DH's gape and I wouldn't xpose anyone else to that 🙀

Wearing PJs amongst anyone but your family is like giving up on life, IMO.

I don't care if it looks ridiculous. We're in my home. And I highly doubt my family or close friends uncomfortable... why would they be?

I would think anyone who invited me round and was in their pyjamas was either (a) lazy or (b) ill or (c ) couldn't be bothered.

I would feel very uncomfortable and would not want to stay.

To be honest, if a friend started answering the door to me mid afternoon, still in PJs, I would worry that she might be depressed.

I love being in pjs but would get dressed if had people coming over. Unless it was my best friend, who would probably come in pjs!

I'd find it weird unless I knew they were ill in some way

"Even more weird to me is how many people on here think it's normal"

This ^^

"I would think anyone who invited me round and was in their pyjamas was either (a) lazy or (b) ill or (c ) couldn't be bothered."

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but I would think it was very odd.

I haven't read the other posts yet but I agree with you, OP. If people are coming, we are dressed. We don't wear nightwear in the daytime. Anybody who is too ill to get dressed is in bed.

I absolutely KNOW that this won't be a popular view, being the Age of the Onesie...

To be honest, I genuinely think it is slovenly, bone-idleness masquerading as a smug sounding life style choice.

My cousin hosted us last week. She'd literally just returned from an overnight flight from China, and had walked in the door just 90mins before we arrived. Miraculously, she was fully dressed in actual clothes, and even had some lippy on

How it it lazy? To get up, shower, clean pjs, start working from home.

What about those of us who wear nighties? Can we wear those all day?

Pjs are more revealing sometimes. Especially for blokes.

If dh is wearing his without boxers you can definitely see outlines and jiggling. That sort of thing shouldn't be inflicted on people who've come round for an innocent glass of mulled wine and a mince pie.

YANBU.
That's just slovenly and rude.

I've been known to get up, get dressed, put PJs on and then host 15 for Christmas.

Not slovenly or bone idle but a choice that whilst I get up and dressed and wear clothes every day, on that day I wanted to be self indulgent, comfortable and chilled out.

The PJs were brand new, covered every part of me and I was clean.

I agree with you, I would have felt uncomfortable too.

People can do whatever they like in their own homes, but as soon as there are guests involved they are part of society, and I think they should get dressed.

The association I have with pyjamas is you have slept in them, not washed and are not wearing any underwear. They are night clothes, part of your private life (bed being a very private and intimate space) and that's why many feel uncomfortable to see others dressed like this.

Pyjamas that look the same as clothes are different as they don't scream "bed" in the same way.