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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
1horatio · 30/12/2016 10:37

Nick

  1. and then there are people that simply think that it doesn't really matter... Maybe they're in pyjamas because they are comfortable with their guests. But there could be several other reasons for it as well.
NicknameUsed · 30/12/2016 10:40

Clearly more people think it matters than don't 1horatio or this thread wouldn't still be running.

ZaZathecat · 30/12/2016 10:48

Did we ever find out exactly what they were wearing? Has the op been back at all? Sorry I know I'm meant to RTFT but 25 pages? I can't. I guess I'm going to go to my grave not knowing if the op was reasonable or not.

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round
To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round
eddiemairswife · 30/12/2016 10:50

I never realised that so many people wear pyjamas in the daytime.

NicknameUsed · 30/12/2016 10:53

Neither did I. I don't know anyone in real life who does.

MuchasSmoochas · 30/12/2016 11:25

I must be a complete prude. When I have people staying who aren't blood line first relatives I wouldn't even go downstairs in my pjs and wouldn't do it at someone else's house if I were staying over.

MuseumOfCurry · 30/12/2016 11:27

2) The majority view that wearing pyjamas while entertaining implies that you can't be bothered to make an effort for your guests, and perhaps that it implies an over familiarity that the guests feel uncomfortable with.

Agreed, although I'd strike 'familiarity' and insert 'intimacy'. I'd no sooner wear PJs while entertaining than I would entertain in my bedroom!

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 13:17

muchas - I'm the same.

If staying with relatives I would dress before coming downstairs.

If OH and I have breakfast together then we always dress first.

HappyFlappy · 30/12/2016 14:25

Shouldhavebeen

My mam called it a Cat's lick

NicknameUsed · 30/12/2016 14:41

That's a better word MuseumOfCurry

Love the user name BTW Grin

niceglassofdrywhitewine · 30/12/2016 15:12

www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/fashion/style/news/a46022/aw16-trend-pyjama-tops/

Here's the thing I mean.

I would definitely feel uncomfortable if I turned up to a drinks party and they were all in obvious 'jamas and dressing gown and if they were in sexy negligees I'd think they were swingers, but just wondered if it could be a fashion faux pas?

coffeetasteslikeshit · 30/12/2016 15:20

Niceglass, I think you've nailed it. I never knew this was a fashion. It's bloody awful! That last "dress" in the link looks like my mum's nightie and I'm pretty sure if I went outside dressed like the model, I'd be picked up by the police out of concern for my mental well being.

whattheseithakasmean · 30/12/2016 15:23

In that Cosmo article, they are wearing tops and heels, jewellery and make up with their 'pyjamas' - considerable more effort than just pulling on some clean day clothes. I am picturing the hosts in fleecy jammies and slippers - but who (apart from the OP) knows?

2rebecca · 30/12/2016 15:26

I think it's odd. If you want to invite guests around then you get dressed, if you want a pyjama day then you don't invite people round.
I only wear night attire in bed (when it's cold) or when I'm ill. Some people just need to buy some more comfortable clothes and grow up.

niceglassofdrywhitewine · 30/12/2016 15:48

It's a hideous trend, but I bought some gorgeous proper red silk pajamas from Rosie at M&S after reading about it recently however they are strictly for bedroom use only. I'd never actually go out in them or answer the door in them because I don't want postie or Mrs Miggins from the pie shop to know that I wear (what I consider to be) a foxy set to sleep in. That's between me & DH Grin

Slapping some heels & lippy on to match might make them appear an appropriate thing to wear for a drinks party?

I wish OP would tell us what kind of pajamas we are talking about so we can be properly judgey. I really want it to be a terrible fashion mistake as anything else is too cringeworthy/unbearable to contemplate.

GimmeeMoore · 30/12/2016 16:00

Pjs on when you've got guests is just manky and lazy
If you're having a home day,DVD, and relax then by all means wear pj
Of course I'd be aghast at this,its grubby

Roussette · 30/12/2016 16:08

It's a hideous trend

Is it a trend? Thank god for that, because that means it will die a death

MaQueen · 30/12/2016 17:59

"Didn't have time to get dressed..."

Jesus, how long does it take you to get dressed??? Do you indulge in some sort of excessive Marie Antoinette style toilette whereby you painstakingly dress yourself for hours on end...?

I can pull on underwear, jeans, sweater in about 40 seconds FFS.

Or do you mean "didn't have time to get dressed" because there wasn't time to shower before getting dressed?

Because that means you hosted your family brunch, having not showered and wearing your PJs and dressing gown...

Grim.

1horatio · 30/12/2016 18:07

MaQueen

Talking about me? I shower in the evening. The thought of going to bed unwashed is... quite awful to me. Or, as you may say, extremely grim... I don't want to change the bedsheets every morning.

Anyhow. As I said, I have a cat's bath in the morning. And I remember that I had brushed my teeth, pulled up my hair etc and was doing that when they door rang. So, I basically finished that but I don't bring my clothes to the bathroom.... So, I simply put my pyajamas back on and put my dressing gown over it...

what exactly is so disgusting about that? I shower in the evening and I don't wear the dressing gown to bed, do I?

Plus, DD was being really fussy and whilst I did have time to dress her I didn't have time to dress myself.

Loubilou09 · 30/12/2016 18:12

Haven't read the thread but really can't believe that ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would think hosting guest in their PJ's is anywhere near okay.....

Jeez.....

hollinhurst84 · 30/12/2016 18:14

I wouldn't host guests in my pjs
I would wear them for a night in with a close mate
And I might be in them at 4pm but it doesn't mean I've been in them all night!

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 18:18

horatio so you wear your pyjamas all night, hash in the morning then put your dirty pjams back on?

Grim.

That's like me showering in the evening then putting on the same knickers I've had on all day.

MaQueen · 30/12/2016 18:19

Soooooo after you'd answered the door, any didn't you pop back upstairs and spend a whole forty seconds changing into some actual clothes?

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 18:24

Wearing pyjamas at inappropriate times is attention seeking.

hollinhurst84 · 30/12/2016 18:30

Confused surely that should be inappropriate times when other people are about? If I'm in my PJs at 3pm, that's an appropriate time for me (presuming I don't have guests)