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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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15
StoneRosesSallyCinnamon · 29/12/2016 22:22

Maybe a rip in the gusset

mydogmymate · 29/12/2016 22:25

I would feel uncomfortable too, their attitude is arrogant.
In the street opposite me, people casually sit in the front of their houses in their pyjamas. In the summer they'll have a shower and wash their hair then sit outside or wander down to their neighbours. I was really shocked when I moved here.

CaraAspen · 29/12/2016 22:37

Yawn

nethunsreject · 29/12/2016 22:40

Close friends, fine. Children, also fine. It is a bit odd for adults though. I wouldn't mind, but I would be surprised.
I'd expect them to be Boden at least. Wink

dollybird · 29/12/2016 22:54

I wear my pj's from whenever I shower in the evening which could be at 4 if I've finished work early and done some exercise, or 9 if I had to go shopping or something. I always wear underwear with my pjs and would hate to have no pants on underneath. I have old non wired bras that I wear with them until I actually go to bed as I don't like not wearing a bra (and I'm only a 34A).

I wouldn't go out in them (apart from giving DH a lift to the pub - 5 minutes drive max and even then I pray I don't break down/have an accident on the way back!). Also wouldn't have people round while wearing them. They are pretty shapeless and washed out so not the most flattering of comfy clothes, but actual clothes I would feel the need to iron Wink

Bargainqueen · 29/12/2016 22:59

I don't think there is any problem with this if you're comfortable with each other. I have friends who I visit or they visit me in their pj's if it's evening. I can see your point of view but I'd try and see it as they either are very relaxed during the holiday period or thathe they feel comfortable enough around you to do it. I don't wear my pj's for everyone... just the closest friends who I know accept me for my warts and all Wink

Peanutandphoenix · 30/12/2016 00:07

It was only pjs get a bloody grip they invited you round for drinks and your not the queen so it's up to them if they get dressed or not. I spend most of my time in my pjs if am not in work am just more comfortable in my pjs.

purplevamp · 30/12/2016 00:25

Personally, I would get dressed if I had invited people round at a certain time. My Mum and Step Dad have a habit of ringing up in the morning and saying "put the kettle on, we're just round the corner". 2 minutes later they're at the door and I'm still in my jimjams Blush. I'd feel a little uncomfortable if I went round someones house and they were still "not dressed" if they had invited me.

niceglassofdrywhitewine · 30/12/2016 00:33

Only got to page 18, but I think we need to know what type of PJS.

Loungewear - probably OK. Not my thing but then I don't need much of an excuse to dress up in naice clothes, as I have 5DC under 12 and opportunities to feel like a sophisticated adult are rare. I'd probably wear a dress to a drinks party.

Fleecy Bridget Jones type PJs - what in fresh hell?!

However...if they were silk/satin PJs is there a chance that the host was being a fashion victim as this is supposed to be really on trend at the moment. So I guess I could forgive that.

Silk chemise or cami & shorts - definitely dodgy.

We need to know more. But agree, hosting a drinks party in your PJs is just plain peculiar. Whoever said the thing about bed being a private intimate space, nailed it.

avamiah · 30/12/2016 00:49

niceglassofdrywhitewine,
Your post made me smile and I agree with you 100 percent as I took my 6 year old to the theatre last week and I couldn't wait to get us both all dressed up in nice dresses and get my hair done.
It's nice to make a effort and it makes you feel good.

MoonshineJungle · 30/12/2016 00:52

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I'd take it as they know that and just want to be comfortable in their own house.

TheDowagerCuntess · 30/12/2016 07:51

It really doesn't mater what type of pyjamas they were wearing.

Anything that could be construed as pyjamas - which the hosts' attire clearly could be - is just downright bizarre / inappropriate for hosting in / grim.

TheDowagerCuntess · 30/12/2016 07:52

It was only pjs get a bloody grip they invited you round for drinks and your not the queen so it's up to them if they get dressed or not. I spend most of my time in my pjs if am not in work am just more comfortable in my pjs.

As I say, Mumsnet is a window into another world, sometimes!

BusterGonad · 30/12/2016 08:00

I think it is a bit strange! Were they Christmas pj's? I also thinks it shows a lack of respect for the visitor. O mean it's different if it's a best friend and you're popping in for a catch up over a cuppa but a Christmas drink and nibbles! It is their house so they are obviously free to do as they please but I'd be a bit miffed myself. I wouldn't be insulted or anything, I would chuckle about it but I do thing it's a little odd (unless chrimbo pj's).

BusterGonad · 30/12/2016 08:01

Sorry think I may have posted too soon, my internet is playing up, sorry if my questions have been answered!

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 30/12/2016 08:45

I think this comes under the title 'making an effort' - if I'm expecting guests (close family or not) I'd always be up and dressed - unless I was really poorly and they had kindly done some shopping for me or suchlike.

Not being dressed looks like you can't be bothered, you think they're not worth making an effort for.

BitOutOfPractice · 30/12/2016 09:01

I know PJs are comfortable. Trust me, I love my pyjamas a lot and will probably be in mine most of the day but I can't understand why people think they are the only comfortable things to wear. Are your other clothes really that uncomfortable? Maybe you need to buy up a size.

I would be very surprised indeed if I turned up for drinks at an acquaintance's house and they were in pyjamas.

Hellsbells35 · 30/12/2016 09:06

Hmm plainly they are just very lazy and have lost perspective/standards. I often find that people who do this are one step away from doing the school run in their pjs and nipping to the shops too - terrible

Roussette · 30/12/2016 09:14

wookie and 1horatio. I thought I'd RTT. Obviously not! The OP was all about turning up at a drinks party and the host and hostess were in their PJ's and was it U. And those pp's saying 'nah, it was fine, I'd do it if I fancied it', what's the problem. And me asking how on earth you wouldn't feel mortified to be in your night gear when everyone is dressed....

RedNoseRumble · 30/12/2016 09:18

I'd find this quite bizarre and wonder if I'd got the wrong day and would probably say as much.

Roussette · 30/12/2016 09:19

Also what I don't understand is.... the quickest bit of having people round is throwing some clothes on. The time consuming bit is getting the glasses out, plates for nibbles or if it's brunch laying it all out, preparing drinks etc... why wouldn't you just spend that one minute throwing something on

I honestly think it's making a statement that doesn't really work. Look at us, we're sooooo coooool. Take us as we are etc.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 30/12/2016 09:24

Googling 'hot men in pyjamas' oh my!!! blush

Sorry, but there is no such thing as hot men in pyjamas. There are hot men and there are pyjamas, but put them together and... ugh. Wink

Daydream007 · 30/12/2016 10:09

I know what you mean. I get out of my PJ's before people visit to at least let them think I'd made an effort for them. Maybe your friends feel very comfortable around you and just stay in their pj's because it's you visiting!

NicknameUsed · 30/12/2016 10:35

There are clearly two schools of thought here:

  1. The minority view that wearing pyjamas while entertaining implies that you are comfortable with your guests.

  2. The majority view that wearing pyjamas while entertaining implies that you can't be bothered to make an effort for your guests, and perhaps that it implies an over familiarity that the guests feel uncomfortable with.

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