To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

[Exileinengland1999]

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs

The term "PJs"is infantile. IMO

PJs PJs PJs.

I still don't think it's that bad (but weird? Sure. But some of the things certain users have said...). And as I said, if it's just family or very close friends I personally don't see it as unusual (especially not for brunch).

Btw, the difference between wearing a dressing gown in my house or in a hotel's breakfast room is that my house privacy. Whilst wearing a dressing gown around immediate (!) family or friends is imo perfectly acceptable it quite obviously wouldn't be around other guests in a hotel...

Er...actually, in genuinely posh hotels people really, really don't wander about in their PJs. They just don't. We've stayed at a few 5* London hotels this year, and I never saw a single pair of PJs.

But I digress...I think what's happened on this thread, happens quite often on MN. A genuinely oblvious poster/s have been merrily pottering in their personal miasma of chaos/grunge/laziness all their lives, thinking it perfectly normal.

It's only when the collective MN spotlight is shone on their lifestyle (and people wince a bit) that the hapless poster/s realises that, actually, the vast majority of people don't merrily live in a miasma of chaos/grunge/laziness...

Then it can go two ways. Either the hapless poster gets angry and defensive. Or...they assume an overly bluff & sneering demeanor and try and assert some sort of moral/ethical superiority. This is usually a tricky move to pull off, but they achieve it by wild exaggeration and wilfully misinterpreting what other posters are saying.

Essentially, they are making a smug sounding virtue (I am above social convention, and just so chilled and relaxed) out of what is actually a sad necessity (I am egocentric, selfish and socially gauche).

"Wookiecookies

Well, correcting myself, thats not strictly true actually, I suppose I am referring to the OP posting on a public forum about her hosts, who will no doubt be very offended when they read it in the daily mail."

Good. I do hope the "hosts" read this and I do hope they are offended. They deserve to be because their weird behaviour is beyond the pale.

I have seen people in pyjamas/hotel dressing gown in hotel breakfast bar. Hate it.

In general, I have no objection to lounge wear or even clean pyjamas. I hate being around people in pyjamas they have slept in and then worn all day (I can smell that weird musty sleepy body smell) and also when people are wearing pyjamas and obviously no underwear.

• Btw, the difference between wearing a dressing gown in my house or in a hotel's breakfast room is that my house privacy.

I've never seen people in actual pyjamas in posh hotels. We have a posh hotel spa near us, and people mill about in the white towelling robes during the daytime - but that's because they're wearing swim suits underneath. And that's not allowed after 6pm.

I've stayed in The Ritz and The Adlon and similar posh hotels other than in pool or spa areas guests do not wander round in dressing gowns.

Wow Cara, how lovely. The only crime these people committed was to invite someone into their home. And because they do things differently to some of us with regards to ettiquette, they should be publicly shamed and offended?

Has anyone ever dreamed that they were in work/school in their nightie/pyjamas?

I have, and I remember feeling embarrassed in my dream.

"Wookiecookies

Wow Cara, how lovely. The only crime these people committed was to invite someone into their home. And because they do things differently to some of us with regards to ettiquette, they should be publicly shamed and offended?"

It might actually be helpful for them in the long run. They might see the error of their ways and not behave in a weird fashion around other people.

Have also stayed in the odd 5 star - lol - and no guest wore leisure wear or nightwear to breakfast or while wandering around outside their rooms. None.

nick

No. but I had quite terrible nightmares about being late. The prep school I went to was in 3 different buildings right next to each other. And the main one had several staircases that went up to different stories etc. And older students loved giving freshmen wrong advice.
And detentions were quite awful and embarassing imo.

How weird. And PJs in hotels only happens in premier inns in drunken market towns. Usually onesies. HTH

Get your pearls ready folks, This thread has inspired me to don my PJ's for the rest of the day.

To be fair, I am not expecting visitors, but it is not too late to cast an invite.

It seems weird that these acquaintances specifically invited you round at 4pm and sent you a text reminder an hour beforehand and once you turned up they were wearing pyjamas. So I'm going with swinger as the likely explanation.

The only time I ever hosted someone in my pyjamas was when a particularly pushy school mum presented herself at my house at 10pm for some advice relating to my job (she was having a family crisis and I work in the field of safeguarding) and I deliberately did not change out of my pyjamas as a passive aggressive way of trying to signal that it was sleeping time. However I felt uncomfortable the whole time at not being dressed properly and it did not have the desired effect of getting rid of her quickly so was somewhat counterproductive.

I could not imagine why people would deliberately dress in their pyjamas when meeting people outside their immediate family. Did you stay for long or just leave after a short time?

I've stayed in a lot of four and five star hotels, and that's not a boast, I simply travel for work and this is the level of accommodation and I've never seen anyone come to breakfast or mill about reception in their pyjamas.

The only thing I have seen come close is people going to the spa or swimming pool in white hotel dressing gowns.

Of course nobody would mill about reception in their pyjamas (or come down to breakfast dressed this way).

But... why would swingers wear pyjamas?

In the hotels I have stayed in, I have only ever seen very young children still in pyjamas at breakfast. And I have only seen that happening in the last 18 months.

Get your pearls ready folks, This thread has inspired me to don my PJ's for the rest of the day.

Knocking about your own house in your pjs is fine. A good friend texts and says they are about, invite them over for a cup of tea and say 'sorry about the pjs' is fine.
To have a pre arranged afternoon drink and nibbles and be in your pjs. Not fine.

Then it can go two ways. Either the hapless poster gets angry and defensive. Or...they assume an overly bluff & sneering demeanor and try and assert some sort of moral/ethical superiority. This is usually a tricky move to pull off, but they achieve it by wild exaggeration and wilfully misinterpreting what other posters are saying

Essentially, they are making a smug sounding virtue (I am above social convention, and just so chilled and relaxed) out of what is actually a sad necessity (I am egocentric, selfish and socially gauche)

And add to that a complete inability to recognise this coupled with, apparently, unawareness of the advice " when you are in a hole stop digging"

wookie

I couldn't give a shiny shit whether you hold a different opinion to me about this issue.

If you single out two of the many posters who think wearing nightwear to host a drinks party is odd, you should expect a response based on that personal comment.

And it's not sarcasm, it's just ridiculous hyperbole which you clearly think is funny as you've been posting similar comments for several pages now. I haven't yet seen anyone praising your acerbic sense of humour but feel free to keep trying. I'm out.

I couldnt give a "shiny shit" about your opinion either Suburban. There, now we are even, because apparently that matters