To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

[Exileinengland1999]

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs

I think it's really odd behaviour too. I spend a lot of my time in my nightie and dressing gown, and quite often put my dressing gown on over my normal clothes to keep warm during the day, but I would never host Christmas drinks in my nightwear.

I'm just imagining DH's face if I ever suggested it . I think hell would freeze over first. He doesn't own pj's anyway thank God. I personally find them very unattractive.

I mean proper pj's though, a lot of what has been described/linked to on here is just trackies and a t-shirt really.

but were they more of the "car keys in the bowl" mindset?

Do they also have pampas grass in the front garden? If so - OP you have only yourself to blame

It's definitely weird and strange and odd and worthy of remark! Maybe not upsetting or rude or whatever but an odd thing to do!

1horatio, having a bad day? Really no need to be bitchy. I didn't say anything that might make me 'special'.

?

I'm looking forward to seeing what our neighbours will be wearing when we go over for drinks and nibbles on new year's day

21 pages
Risking a post anyway.

OP I would wonder if theyd forgotten they invited me if they were in PJs when I arrived...or if they still fancied getting together...

Just making the point that just because something is made out of "fabric" ( not sure a gimp suit counts tbh) doesn't mean that it makes it appropriate dress for hosting invited guests.
I would feel uncomfortable in either scenario to be fair, perhaps more disturbed with the gimp thing.

When I got married one of my friends wore a pair of striped jeans that looked like pyjama trousers. For a fleeting second I thought "I've made an effort to dress up, why couldn't you?", but it didn't spoil my day in the slightest.

The trousers did get commented on by a number of guests though.

However you feel about wearing your pyjamas at home in the day/ being comfortable or flouting societal convention in some sort of liberal bohemian fashion, it's not really about you. It's about how your guests would feel and giving that consideration.

Where would you draw the line? Ok for your husband to roll up in pjs to his wedding? "Chill out man, it's only fabrics"

Ah cross posted with you Nickname on the topic of weddings! At least it wasn't your husband rocking up to the altar in his stripey jammies.

I am still in my pyjamas BTW, but we haven't invited anyone round today

Me too .

Nicknameused - My friend told me the v funny story of her ex-H when they went away for a wedding. She packed his suit, thinking the trousers were on the same hanger as the jacket. They weren't. He had to wear the only other garment he had there - a pair of trousers she nicknamed "clown trousers" - I'm wondering if it was your wedding now.

Lol at this thread. They were wearing what even the kids identified as pyjamas, not leggings, not jogging bottoms, not yoga pants and they texted an hour in advance to confirm they were still coming.

I know of no adult in real life who hosts Xmas drinks for adult acquaintances in the afternoon and decides to wear their pyjamas. It's not cool, it's not bohemian, it's simply odd, and I don't know why some folks are pretending otherwise. 😂

This was not an unexpected visit, it wasn't working from home and a surprise guest, it wasn't early morning, it wasn't evening, it wasn't a ski chalet, it wasn't a hotel, it wasn't family, it wasn't a spa, it wasn't the postman, it wasn't a best friend, it wasn't a sick day, or whatever other off topic pyjama wearing circumstances are being put forward.

It was inviting school parent acquaintances round for Xmas drinks and nibbles, understanding they are coming and then choosing to wear what was clearly identifiable as actual pyjamas to host in the middle of the day. Both husband and wife. It's odd. And I suspect everyone knows it. 😂

I agree with OP - I would feel uncomfortable in this situation.
Also, I feel that if you invite guests to your house, get dressed into 'day' clothes.

"I also stayed at a very posh hotel. People were milling about in jammas. Seems quite a normal thing for folks to do."

Erm, not it isn't. I have stayed at the Selsdon Park hotel a few times (so, reasonably upmarket IMO). On one occasion one family came down to breakfast in their pyjamas. They really stood out because everyone else was dressed, and yes, they did get a lot of double takes from a number of guests.

Haha suburban, do quote the entire post rather than just one statement in isolation that fits your narrative, wont you? It was sarcasm dear, in response to the fact that you seem to have taken it rather personally that I happen to have a different viewpoint from yours.

After all is said and done, I think the hosts probably did forget you were coming OP, I bet they tried to be polite by not letting you realise that had happened. Either way, however unusual it was for them to be wearing pj's at 4, i dont think it makes them bad people, or depressed alcoholics I reiterate that I dont think it is fair to publicly judge people so harshly who kindly offered you their hospitality and welcomed you into their home.

Also, bluntness, I dont think anyone here disagreed that it was odd, just with the accompanying character assasination of the pyjama offenders that followed.

The OP wasn't judging harshly. She simply stated that it was odd, and TBH it is odd, regardless of your own opinion.

Its not the OP I am referring to.

Horatio
This thread is imo about whether people should be judged for doing so.
Or if it's safe to assume they are struggling, depressed, don't fit in their clothes, alcoholics or just don't care about their guests...

The OP's question wasn't about judging, it was whether they were right to feel uncomfortable in the situation, many people have agreed that they would feel this way too.
Your next statement is rather odd. Feels designed to make those who disagree with you sound uncaring. From experience I wouldn't think anyone in the first two categories would be keen to host a soiree, we assume they have clothes which fit as they wear them on the school run, are you saying both of the couple are alcoholics....? Frankly it doesn't matter and I should know better than to stir the pot, I just thought I'd reply to your comment to me. In my PJs

Well, correcting myself, thats not strictly true actually, I suppose I am referring to the OP posting on a public forum about her hosts, who will no doubt be very offended when they read it in the daily mail.

I've never seen people in actual pyjamas in posh hotels. We have a posh hotel spa near us, and people mill about in the white towelling robes during the daytime - but that's because they're wearing swim suits underneath. And that's not allowed after 6pm.

I have never ever ever seen people come down to breakfast in a hotel IN THEIR PYJAMAS.
Hope the staff sent the weirdos out of the dining room.