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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Lovelybangers · 29/12/2016 01:29

Stop calling pyjamas Pj's or Jammies

They are pyjamas
Thanks

Original poster

Exileinengland1999 · 29/12/2016 01:32

Blimey- didn't expect to open such a can of worms with my op

OP posts:

wundringnow · 29/12/2016 01:43

YANBU. It's very strange to wear pyjamas to receive guests. I feel like I live in an alternate universe reading some of these comments .

MommaGee · 29/12/2016 02:03

Lovelybangers how about jimjams?

Anyway, re op depends on who. Got to my sisters for open door party, we were first there, she was still in pj's - I don't care, I came to see her and the kids not her clothes. She got dressed before everyone else arrived. If they're decent and comfortable, who cares

MangosteenSoda · 29/12/2016 02:05

I'd find it bizarre. Just as I'd find it bizarre if they were wearing swimsuits, wetsuits, fancy dress or a uniform of some kind if they hadn't just returned from work/school.

I can't say it would bother me, but it would surprise me.

Janey50 · 29/12/2016 02:34

Not much difference between jogging bottoms and a T-shirt/sweatshirt and pyjamas IMO,so I don't see the problem.

MizzEmma · 29/12/2016 02:36

Lovelybangers aren't you a delight.

Here in the US they are pajamas.

TheKitchenWitch · 29/12/2016 07:06

If you can tell they are pjs, they yes it's inappropriate and weird.
I also think anything as casual as loungewear would be inappropriate in this situation actually.

For those trotting out the it's their house they can wear what they want line: does that extend to everything in the house? Becayse if I invite people over, especially for something like Christmas drinks, I tidy up a bit, I would do an extra clean of the guest loo, I'd make sure we have drinks in and I'd serve them and food on nice plates and glasses rather than ds2's Winnie the Pooh plastic bowls and beakers.
This, to me and all my friends, is completely normal. I don't think it's snobbish or stuck up to get dressed and make a bit of effort.

ShamonMoFo · 29/12/2016 07:20

Its a tradition in my home that after xmas dinner we don our new xmas pjs. Its not scruffy. You should have felt pleased they had chosen to share a part of their christmas with you. YABU and YABUngrateful

Lizzylou · 29/12/2016 08:06

Oh I love Wookie's idea that as all clothes (day and night) are just fabrics it's all OK, they are all equally respectable.
It's OK if you turn up and your hosts are wearing a thong and tassels and a gimp suit, it's just fabric, what's your problem?

1horatio · 29/12/2016 08:19

Oh I love Wookie's idea that as all clothes (day and night) are just fabrics it's all OK, they are all equally respectable.

I'd probably be less offended than some people here seem to be because of pyjamas ;)

I'd probably simply assume there was a misunderstanding about the nature of the party, thank them sincerely for the invite and go home. I wouldn't assume they were slovelny, depressed, struggling or alcoholics.

If DD or other children were present I'd react differently. Obviously. Because that would veer to territories where it isn't about taste anymore.

Because pyjamas are primarily associated with sleeping. Whereas gimp suits?

Catsize · 29/12/2016 08:24

OP, I am with you.

Lots on here seem to think it would be acceptable to host drinks wearing nothing but a dressing gown, but not me.

Lizzylou · 29/12/2016 08:25

Still no difference. Pyjamas are primarily associated with sleeping. So any guest is going to feel what? That their hosts can't wait for them to go so they can sleep. Was the op and her family invited over for a giant sleepover?
Weird. Just as turning up to find the Mom in a thong and tassels and the Dad in a gimp suit.

HermioneWoozle · 29/12/2016 08:26

It wouldn't bother me but I'd think it odd. I'd have to say something like "Did we get you out of bed?" or "Oh, is it a pyjama party?"

1horatio · 29/12/2016 08:30

lizzy

Pyjamas are primarily associated with sleeping.

Absolutely.

Weird. Just as turning up to find the Mom in a thong and tassels and the Dad in a gimp suit.

Really? You think parents doing things around children that require them to wear a thong and a gimp suit is the same as them wearing pyjamas?
If that's truly what you think.

1horatio · 29/12/2016 08:31

Lots on here seem to think it would be acceptable to host drinks wearing nothing but a dressing gown, but not me.

Aren't you special, the only user agreeing with the OP😉

Footinmouthasusual · 29/12/2016 08:33

Reckon they think you are swingers op?

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2016 08:35

do PM suburban and lass immediately. I believe they can point you in the direction of an appropriate therapist.

Why can't you respond to posts without exaggerating? I can't speak for lass but I certainly haven't suggested the hosts in the OP need therapy. Simply that it's egocentric to assume that guests you don't know especially well would be happy for you to host in your nightwear. The OP said the other guests looked uncomfortable too so clearly it's not so much the norm to do this as this thread would have us believe.

Mindtrope · 29/12/2016 08:39

originalfool "I also stayed at a very posh hotel. People were milling about in jammas. Seems quite a normal thing for folks to do."

Doesn't sound like a very posh hotel.

Most of the "posh" hotels I have stayed in require at least "smart casual" for public areas.

fluffypigs · 29/12/2016 09:11

YANBU! I can't believe people think it's ok to stay in their PJs (at 4pm!) when guests are over. If I was invited to Christmas drinks I would expect my hosts to be up and dressed. Even if it were family or close friends.

DesolateWaist · 29/12/2016 09:14

Nope. It's not right in my world.
If I had just dropped in on a friend and they were in pjs then fine. I generally wear pjs around the house in the evening. However if someone dropped in I would apologise for my pjs.

However had I actually invited someone round to my house then I would be dressed in actual clothes.

If crying 'standards' makes me seem like a dried up old fart then I'm happy to be a dried up old fart.

FurryLittleTwerp · 29/12/2016 09:14

Reckon they think you are swingers op?

HaHaHaHaHa

yes, that's it - you've got it Foot

Footinmouthasusual · 29/12/2016 09:18

Clandestino · 29/12/2016 09:25

I love my PJ days (once in every 8 months or something when the weather is too crap to go outside on Sunday and we've no cinema or anything else planned). But I'd never welcome any guests in a pyjama. I am just trying to imagine myself in a Greta Garbo hairdo and make-up, with my nightgown and morning gown on, the arm dramatically risen and the hand ever so slightly touching my forehead "oh, my migraine" while I'm elegantly holding a cigarillo in my other hand. Doesn't work. Skinny jeans and a jumper is more my "hallo guests" style.

1horatio · 29/12/2016 09:28

Clandestino

My mother has done that. I'm not even kidding... 😂

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