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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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15
Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 00:07

And to add, I also feel that my opposing viewpoint has led to accusations of not understanding social norms and virtue signalling, which is somewhat of an overreaction as I am sure you can agree. Wink

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:09

And what about people who spend the evening enjoying drinks in someone else's home and then bitch online about what they were wearing. How should they be judged?

Ab1000 · 29/12/2016 00:09

Saying that there are bigger things to worry about than what people wear is such a patronising response. Just because some of us have standards does not mean that we have no awareness of larger issues. It is so infuriating when people can't be arsed to get dressed or tidy their houses, do their ironing, feed their kids etc. I work full time in my own business away from home, have a husband and two kids I don't have time to lounge around all day in pjs. I'm too busy to allow myself that extravagance!!!

MyPeriodFeatures · 29/12/2016 00:11

bumsex. Wasting their hospitality?? I would struggle to find being in anyones home for a little party whilst they were wearing pyjamas hospitable. More slightly hostile or hovellike. I'd like to know what the pyjamas were like. Were they festive? Did they have appliqued animals on them or were they button up florals? I hope op comes back, I have so many un answered questions.

Do you think this is made up? It seems a bit unreal

1horatio · 29/12/2016 00:13

ab

I can't be arse to do the ironing or clean the house. I have somebody else do that for me. I don't cook very often either, btw.

And I don't claim that there are more important issues to worry about. I say that this is a total non-issue. That it simply does not matter at all.

Yes, I'd be surprised if I was in the OP's situation. But I wouldn't be bothered by it at all...

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 00:13

AB, I said I worry about bigger issues, not that you or others dont.

bunnylove99 · 29/12/2016 00:14

YANBU, wearing PJ'S to host a party in your home is inappropriate and in bad taste. Sure we all feel comfortable relaxing at home in pyjamas, but not whilst guests are around.

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:14

Hmm not being arsed to feed your kids doesn't really fit with the rest of that list imo as that would actual child abuse!
I must be soooooo much busier than a lot of people on here because I just don't have the time to become infuriated that someone else hasn't done their ironing!

RortyCrankle · 29/12/2016 00:15

Wookiecookies
I dont necessarily think its normal to not dress for guests Rorty, but I am surprised at the level of snobbish stuck up posters this has revealed. The judgeyness is at an all time high. There are surely worse crimes to commit than pj's over christmas? No?

Nothing to do with being a snob or stuck up to consider people wearing their pjs when entertaining to be very odd. I guess there may be worse crimes but does that make this behaviour any less odd? I don't think so.

From other threads on here over the years it transpires that some people find it perfectly acceptable to go to the school gates or local supermarket in their pjs and/or hair in curlers. They may sling on a coat but it doesn't really disguise what they are wearing. I find it inconceivable that anyone would do such a thing.

The nearest I get is hobbling out to my garden first thing in the morning to break the ice on the birds' bath and replenishing their containers with fat balls and peanuts before they start complaining. That feels bold to me to go out in my own enclosed rear garden in my dressing gown.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:16

Well the op stayed for 2 hours so it can't have been that bad!

1horatio · 29/12/2016 00:16

bumsex

TBH, I would be quite angry if I didn't have ironed clothes to wear to work.

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:17

And I don't think anyone's disagreeing that it's a little unusual but infuriating? Really? How on earth do some people on here cope when something actually bad happens?

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2016 00:18

bumsex

I've been back through the OP's posts and not seen any sign of bitchiness, so in answer to your question, I wouldn't judge the OP at all for asking for people's views in the way she has in this thread.

1horatio · 29/12/2016 00:18

bum

They clutch their pearls and faint. Obviously 😉

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:18

But would you care what other people did about their own ironing Horatio cos I couldn't think of many things I care less about.

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 00:19

You feel bold to go into your own garden in a dressing gown rorty? Why? Genuine question.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 29/12/2016 00:21

Well the op stayed for 2 hours so it can't have been that bad!

Really? I would have thought 2 hours is about the minimum period politeness would allow for something one has been invited to.

QuodPeriitPeriit · 29/12/2016 00:21

More concerned with bigger issues

I am also concerned about world peace and a cure for cancer, but am able to hold several things in my head at the same time; one of which is consideration for my guests, which is what this issue boils down to for me.

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:21

It's bitchy to come on here and criticise when someone has done something nice and invited you into their home. I'm assuming the op didn't tell the hosts to their face what she thought of their attire. Very identifying thread though so they might know now. Especially if the dm get hold of it. It's the kind of rubbish they seem to consider newsworthy.

1horatio · 29/12/2016 00:22

bumsex

if I worked with them? Yes.
There have been times where I've stepped in the office, tbh. (Too much work)

But having a spare shirt isn't that difficult. Or steaming it quickly in the shower. Or simply buying a new one.

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:23

If you felt so uncomfortable at the sight of some pj's you would make your excuses and leave surely?

1horatio · 29/12/2016 00:25

Maybe they're 'too polite' and prefer to bitch about it on mumsnet instead?

bumsexatthebingo · 29/12/2016 00:26

Nice of them!

SuburbanRhonda · 29/12/2016 00:27

It's bitchy to come on here and criticise when someone has done something nice and invited you into their home.

No, the OP came on here and asked for people's views. In fact I think this thread has been remarkably un-bitchy.

My view is that inviting people into your home is indeed a hospitable act, but hosting them in your nightwear - clean, dirty or otherwise, - is at best odd and at worst inconsiderate of how uncomfortable you might make them feel.

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 00:29

Not particularly relevant but, I have a best friend who is like a sister. I love her to bits and we feel completely comfortable in each others company, we often wear pj's when we get together. Would I do so with people I barely knew? No, I wouldnt, but I would feel very flattered that anyone felt comfortable enough to do so around me. Especially to be invited at christmas. They must consider OP to be quite special anyway to extend a christmas invite.