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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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15
bumsexatthebingo · 28/12/2016 21:47

I would get dressed myself if I had invited people I didn't know that well around for drinks bit from some of the replies on here you'd think one of the hosts had punched the op in the face or something. She had to be present when someone was wearing clothes that are normally worn at a different time of the day. That's all. No-one has died.

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 21:47

I dont necessarily think its normal to not dress for guests Rorty, but I am surprised at the level of snobbish stuck up posters this has revealed. The judgeyness is at an all time high. There are surely worse crimes to commit than pj's over christmas? No?

Princesspink999 · 28/12/2016 21:48

It's totally weird - I would 100% expect the hosts to be dressed and if I were the host there is no way I would be in pjs. I even think slippers is a bit odd if i'm honest but I could cope with that! If I turned up to someone's house and they were in pjs I would probably apologise because I'd assume I had the wrong day or time!

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 21:48

Agreed Bumsex!

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 21:49

May I just say it one last time, they are FABRICS, anyone would think the OP had been offered pinapple hedgehogs by a host in a gimp suit. Perspective folks.

zizza · 28/12/2016 21:49

I'm normally a "live and let live" or "everyone's entitled to their own opinion" kinda gal, but I'm amazed at how many people think it's ok to be wearing PJs when they've invited friends round. Sorry, that's just odd. OP, YADNBU

PickledCauliflower · 28/12/2016 21:50

When I have a day off work and having a day at home, I often wear this hideous faded beachwear thing. It's like something you would throw over your bikini if you were on a beach.
It's 100% cotton so great for doing housework in without getting sweaty. I only wear this if it's totally guaranteed that I don't have to go to the front door etc.
You have clothes at home, when it's just you and yours and then you have your everyday clothes. I don't like to blur the two.

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 21:51

Sic. Pineapple.

PickledCauliflower · 28/12/2016 21:55

I think there is also a difference between being stuck up and having a few rules on manners.

I grew up on the roughest housing estate on Merseyside. It was truly grim, but no way would my parents have allowed me to be in Pjs when family / friends visited. Unless I was ill - or tiny and ready for bed.
It's about making guests feel welcome I would say - it's not snobbery at all.

Andylion · 28/12/2016 22:00

Page has got it right, here. I agree with MaQueen that it's part of this "let it all hang out, we're so bohemian and cool, take us as you find us" general lowering of standards because people are becoming progressively more self-centred and standards are dropping because people think that upholding them is just too much effort - their comfort has to trump that of everyone else's, their needs and desires and wants always come first, especially if that means they can avoid doing something that might put them out or requires them to make even a small effort or interrupt their usual routine, or consider someone else's feelings before their own.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 22:01

but I am surprised at the level of snobbish stuck up posters this has revealed. The judgeyness is at an all time high. There are surely worse crimes to commit than pj's over christmas? No?

What a ridiculous post. The only snobbery I'm seeing is from you and similar posters who seem to think you are so cool and above conventions like putting on day clothes or being considerate to visitors.

Ab1000 · 28/12/2016 22:01

It's inverted snobbery to think it's ok to be in pj's. Get a grip make an effort. If you are going to the effort of inviting people get dressed. It isn't just clothes it's about trying.

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 22:04

GrinGrinGrin

Yes, I am an inverted snob. Righto then HmmGrin. I dont greet visitors in pj's, but I have much more important things in life to be offended about than those that do.

1horatio · 28/12/2016 22:04

it's about trying

Trying to do what?
I don't try, I am. 😉

Sallystyle · 28/12/2016 22:05

I do think there is a big difference between wearing pjs around close friends/family and people you aren't that close to.

While I am more than happy to wear pjs around my parents and in-laws I wouldn't wear them if my neighbours were coming over for drinks or family I only see once in a blue moon.

My in-laws are here often, they live down the road , they don't feel like guests as such. They just wanted to see the children and join in with their excitement. What I was wearing just didn't matter.

I would actually feel like a bit of a prick if I was wearing them around people I'm not very close to. I see no issue with wearing them around my in-laws, I don't think I was rude at all. It's the kind of relationship we have and it's all very relaxed.

SuburbanRhonda · 28/12/2016 22:05

May I just say it one last time, they are FABRICS,

But the OP didn't say she thought the fabric was weird, she says she thought the wearing of night clothes when hosting visitors was weird. I'm totally with her on that.

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 22:05

It's christmas, they were not naked. It's going to be ok everyone, I promise. Wink

SuburbanRhonda · 28/12/2016 22:06

Did anyone say it wouldn't be ok?

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 22:07

Pj's made of FABRIC rhonda. Semantics really. They are still clothes.

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 22:08

OMG, this thread is hilarious! So many offended people!

1horatio · 28/12/2016 22:08

Why should I try to do/be what exactly (presumably something I'm not) around family or friends (people I'm close enough to spend Christmas with)?
I don't feel the need to try, I'm just me.

Maybe that's an English thing, but that's just weird imo Confused

Wookiecookies · 28/12/2016 22:10

Well said horatio. But you do realise that this means you are merely no more than a slovenly peasant right? In your own home? The HORROR.

Ab1000 · 28/12/2016 22:12

If you can't be arsed to get dressed it reflects through everything else. You may think that no one else is bothered and they take you as you are, what a load of leftie liberal bollocks. What they actually think is for gods sake get dressed. Next minute you'll be in Tesco in a onesie god forbid !!!

Zaya00 · 28/12/2016 22:15

The normal thing if you ask people in for drinks would be to actually dress up a bit and make an effort. Who in their right mind would be wearing pyjamas Shock - unless it was some kind of teen sleepover?
It's bad manners to make guests feel uncomfortable and by wearing pyjamas you are giving off a "rather be in bed" vibe. Even the most eccentric of our friends remember to get dressed.

MaQueen · 28/12/2016 22:16

I'm not offended wookie. I just think it's shit behaviour.