To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

[Exileinengland1999]

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs

Leggings and t-shirt is worse than my pyjamas! Much more revealing and scruffy

No, they really are not. I give you a clue: there are photos of the Duchess of Cambridge in official or public events wearing leggings, I bet there is not one of her in her pyjamas.

U2HasTheEdge
Your guests must have been too polite to comment, as most of us would. They must have been delighted by your effort.

I still don't know why you can't buy clothes that actually fit?!?

I'd judge. That isnt good hosting in my book.

My pjamas are smarter than leggings though. They are cotton/ wool Pilate trousers in black or grey or navy. Probably smarter than most people's day closes TBH

Ding - I might wake and shower and clean pjs on because I know I need to get changed again later anyway. For example a typical work day at home might be 5.30am wake, shower, clean pjs. 6-10am work from home. Change into suit for office 10-5pm. Back home and shower again, clean pjs on whilst sorting kids out. 8pm smart going out clothes on for drinks local with friends.

So if you came around at 9.30am or 6pm I might be in pjs. I don't want my suit on all day at home, don't want smarter clothes on in Between when I might be baking cookies with messy kids or bathing kids and getting wet. Clean pjs are fine.

Greeting your in laws at the door in your pjs with a frank description of your menstrual bloat

Lilaclily, I have ms and a dickie heart. It doesn't take me two minutes to go upstairs, it takes me a good 5 minutes to get to the 2nd floor where my bedroom is. Then it takes me at least 5 minutes to get dressed. This includes resting time and assumes that there are no buttons and that I can do up my bra today as sometimes I can't and then dh has to do it for me. Believe me, getting dressed is a big production and there are many days when I am unequal to it. Seriously, once I'm downstairs I tend to stay there until bedtime, having to go back up is a major trial.

Irrelevant to the op's predicament, however.

I used to flap around the house in my shorts but my DS13 has banned this practice since one of his friends said I was "fit" now it's full length trousers and a hoody at all times. I think I would have expected them to get dressed for my arrival but similarly wouldn't probably have cared if they didn't

Some people seem to be describing actual pyjamas, with dressing gowns, whereas others seem to be referring more to yoga type pants and long sleeved t shirts. The first type are nightwear, the second not. I think the idea of wearing actual nightwear to host people is appalling; they got dressed and ready to come round to your house so the least you can do is get dressed. The loungewear/gym pants thing is more of a fashion thing I think, not my cup of tea at all and still unsuitable for invited guests. I might dress like that for a lazy Sunday morning at home with DH.

My dad had MS, a heart condition & rheumatoid arthritis and was wheelchair bound for much of his later years. He would never be in his pajamas when people called round, he would die of shame. I would say it is a generational thing, except his standards have been inherited - I would never entertain in my pajamas, I can think of no acceptable reason for not putting on comfy day clothes. If you are well enough to entertain, you are well enough to get dressed to entertain.

Nice stealth boast TwoGunslingers

Def should be in clothes imo

I'm fascinated by this thread.

If someone calls at your house unannounced in the early morning or after about 8pm then I think answering the door in your pyjamas is fine.
But to invite people for drinks and not wear day clothes just seems very odd to me. It just wouldn't happen in my circle of friends.

Anything that makes your guests feel uncomfortable is incredibly bad mannered to me.

People who say "I just love my pjs" !???
Are you 6? Do you wear little fluffy pink pjs with cutie kitties on?

Maybe buy some normal, perfectly comfortable clothes and get dressed??

what my bad I thought it was hilarious, him not so much.

"My pjamas are smarter than leggings though. They are cotton/ wool Pilate trousers in black or grey or navy."

But those aren't really pyjamas are they. My pyjamas look like something I would sleep in.

Yes, we're all very impressed Gunslingers.

YANBU. I would have found it odd. I love my Pjs but if I have invited people round and they have made an effort it is only polite to make an effort too. Those people saying "its their house, they can do what they like, take as you find" - well yes if the OP had dropped around unexpectedly or it was close relatives. But they had invited her and then made zero effort - to me that shows contempt.

I just don't get the all day PJs thing, even after reading this entire thread. I am all for comfort but PJs are not clothes, you have slept in them, you are sweaty, you don't have a bra/knickers on. What am I not getting.

"Those people saying "its their house, they can do what they like, take as you find""

Clearly have no ideas of what is socially acceptable.

Oh God, what fresh Hell is this....wearing your PJs, whilst greeting your in-laws at the door with a frank description of your menstrual bloat???

Saying I am bloated because it's the time of the month and want to be comfortable really isn't that bad. We talk about shit like that and menopause.

Your guests must have been too polite to comment, as most of us would. They must have been delighted by your effort.

My in-laws really didn't give a shit. Trust me, they would soon say if they cared. They were delighted actually. We had a great time. It's all very relaxed, friends and family walk in the house, they makes themselves drinks, they help themselves to food if they like. They come to see us, they don't care what I'm wearing. They could always not come if they have an issue with it, it's no surprise that I might be wearing pjs.

I still don't know why you can't buy clothes that actually fit?!?

Who said I don't have clothes that fit?

They could always not come if they have an issue with it

Not really, they want to see their son. I would pretend everything is normal too if it was one of my kids' partners. Thankfully my eldest are at the age when they would tell me off if I was seen in public in my pjs.

Who said I don't have clothes that fit? Why don't you wear them then?

People who put on underwear and then clean PJs -why?

Why not just put on day clothes?

I genuinely don't understand all this "I like to be comfortable" stuff. Why aren't your day clothes comfortable? Is everyone dressed in the wrong size?

I put on my nightclothes 5 mins before going to bed and take them off immediately upon getting up and heading straight to the shower. I'm never uncomfortable in my day clothes - not even my work suits.

I wouldn't be in nightwear at 4pm. Lazy, lazy, lazy.

I'd think it very strange to visit someone and them not be dressed.

I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with this slightly contrived bohemian, communal lifestyle where there are no boundaries in your home, and guests are openly encouraged to fart and sift through your underwear drawer (which is ironic, as I was Steiner educated, and you just don't get more bohemian than that).

I disagree that it shows how vair, vair comfortable and sympatico you are with your friends...it's because we're so comfortable with each other, that my friends and I are sensitive to each other's boundaries.

Comfortable day clothes are very important to me. I hate anything tight fitting, rough fabrics or constricting.

It's very easy to find appropriate day clothes which fit this criteria without having to resort to wearing nightclothes.

I think that's pretty rude and lazy!