To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??

[ricecrispies16]

Or is it just mine?

He's grown up around women - his mum, softer than soft - wiped his arse for him up until 2 years ago when I met him - 3 sisters, all of which worship the ground he walks in and he can do no wrong because he's the baby of the family... well somehow now he's my baby to deal with and I can't be arsed with it. I can't work out if I'm just being ignorant or he really is just a spoilt twat?!

My 9yo nephew is here with me for a few days starting today - going through an awful lot at home, social services involvement etc dp comes home all is well until he gets up to do something, comes back a few mins later and nephew has come back to the lounge and sat in the seat dp was in. I hear dp asking him to move, I ask what's up, dp says it's nothing. I go back out and when I come back nephew has moved and dp is sat there. I asked if he'd made nephew move, he says again "I was sitting there" so I explain that he wasn't sat there so nephew chose to sit there, he shouldn't have made him move. Dp then gives a loooooong sigh and starts to move saying here you sit there if it's really that important. Then falls out with me.

I just feel like it's as though he thinks children are below him. This isn't the first of incidents like this.

Was it me being unreasonable?

Don't need a fucking grip actually... got my fucking chair

I can't believe people actually have "their" seat!

Ever watched The Royle Family? They all have their seats there. I thought it was fairly standard in most families to have a usual spot.
I remember back in the dark ages when there often weren't as many spaces on the sofa as there were bottoms and the youngest had to sit on the floor. The problem was that there were no remote controls so none of the children would ever get up to change the channel as they would lose their spot.

Oh, and I am fascinated to know if you actually mean that his mum used to wipe his bum for him, and if so, why are you with him.

Haha she didn't literally wipe his bum, it's a saying. Although I wonder if she would if he asked

I'm with him because he has some great qualities and is generous and kind. We just have different approaches to children

You've never read Goldilocks and Three Bears then?

Or watched Gogglebox

tooorange my dad and BIL are of the mythical man ilk. They give me hope that I might find one of my own one day!

I'm with him because he has some great qualities and is generous and kind. We just have different approaches to children

So how would having children with him work?

Seems like a bit of an over reaction on your part to me. YABU. He was sitting there. Your nephew can sit somewhere else.

Francis - I have two children, one with him.

I'm genuinely quite shocked at how people seem to think I wouldn't have children because I believe they should be equal.

Let me make it clearer, I mean equal where it's appropriate. My eldest child has boundaries, rules and is expected to behave in certain ways in certain situations. IF an adult was to speak to or treat her like she was less than them for any reason I certainly wouldn't expect her to show any kindness or good manners back. Why should she? She deserves as much respect as any other person, child or adult. Her age is irrelevant, she is a person and deserves to be treated as such.

That being said, I'd like to add that she's a kind loving well mannered little girl. I'll always teach her to treat others as they treat her though.

I certainly wouldn't expect her to show any kindness or good manners back.

Jesus wept! Really?

Aww how sweet.

Were you kidding about the mum actually wiping his arse until you met him thing? I mean, how is that not a red flag? "Hi, yeah this is a nice first date, nice wine, nice meal, oh my mum wipes my arse, is that a problem?"

My top dating tip is find a man who's lived alone - one who moved out of the family home, lived in student halls or a first flat, lived ALONE, the alone part is important, didn't just shack up with a mum-substitute who did all his washing and cooking. Find one who did his own washing and cooking, bought his own clothes, cooked decent meals, hosted guests, made career decisions, paid the bills, basically was an adult. Excellent dating material. Men. Not boys.

I think MN seems to have a disproportionate amount of posts about sulky cheating scummy abusive manbabies mainly because those of us whose husbands are totally normal chaps don't feel any great need to make a thread about it. But that does mean that people in these really poor relationships only ever hear about other really poor relationships and perhaps end up feeling it's all that can be expected, or they are content with some shittiness so long as it's not loads of shittiness. "Well mine calls me a fking c- but he doesn't have private lap dances so I guess I won the guy lottery, right?" "Hey, mine can't even cook toast and completely ignores his children, but he doesn't binge drink so YAY ME #blessed."

Imagine your dream partner-behaviour.

Nice image?

Good.

It's out there.

It is not an unattainable dream.

Treat others as they treat her... oh dear... raising a little monster i see ...

Octopus are you saying then that if someone was rude to your child you'd be ok with that? Oh don't worry little jimmy, child in the playground is being awful to you but you make sure you say absolutely nothing, smile politely and be a nuclear child. Good boy.

Or "mummy, bobs mum said I have horrible (insert what u like)" "now now Gloria, get back round there, smile and make her a brew, remember you don't deserve respect, you're a child"

LOL

Nilouf - quite the opposite actually. Shes extremely well mannered, behaved and loving.

Saukko i was talking to my friend's mother about friend's shitty bf. Her mum pipes up with "at least this one doesn't hit her" . What the fuck?!?

Ricecrispies - and eye for an eye doesn't work. Stand up for yourself yes, but encouraging your child to be rude back isn't the way to go.

Rice - good for her. Although i suspect she probably hasn't come up against any really horrible people to put your "treat them like they treat her" to test...

I don't encourage her to be rude, I encourage her to have self respect and not stand for being belittled

Saukko

^^Well said.