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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to visit George Michaels house

227 replies

jazzy57uk · 27/12/2016 23:11

I am a MASSIVE fan of 30+ years, have every record, TV/radio appearance and clippings galore. I am devastated by his death and would like to visit his London home to say goodbye. OH says is childish, pathetic and not appropriate- it's a private matter that should only be for people who actually knew him. I know he'll be massively disappointed if a go but I'll regret it if I don't. WWYD?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/12/2016 12:29

Fair enough bonniegirl, it really is for everybody to do what they want to do. There are just opposite opinions, that's all.

southeast, well there are different opinions there too. I don't think feeling sadness and missing somebody who has died is necessarily coined by the term 'grieving' because that invalidates the pain that those who knew and personally loved them, feel. It doesn't stop me feeling sad or even keenly missing them from the sphere they were in, but it's not grief. Again, my opinion, not fact.

People perhaps put themselves in the place of the family and how they would feel at the plethora of fans swarming down. Some fans might be respectful, others are not. I suppose we base some of our views on what we have known/experienced ourselves.

Perhaps some of the views here have been harsh and judgemental - but there have been some very OTT and unreasonably histrionic posts in turn.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/12/2016 13:19

I've thought some more about this and have come to the conclusion - rightly or wrongly - that most people don't like grandiose overreactions. Not about anything. We all, or most of us, do it at some point, vastly overreact about something that others scratch their heads and think WTF? at.

I think if the thread had been something like "I'm so sad at George Michael's death, he meant a lot to me, his music was amazing" or anything similar, there would have been no dispute or sarcasm from anybody, even if they weren't fans themselves.

That's what I think anyway. The histrionics are not comfortable to witness.

southeastdweller · 30/12/2016 13:49

To me, there's different kinds of grieving. So the grief (and yes I do know the definition of it) I feel about GM isn't the same as the grief I felt when my aunt died a few years ago, for example.

Laying down flowers at his house and quietly paying respect is hardly what I'd call grandiose Confused

Laiste · 30/12/2016 14:35

Personally i think that any 'grief' felt when someone you've never met dies is a grief for some link they represented for you somehow and the link is now tainted by that death.

At the same time it's also an uncomfortable reminder of our own mortality. Two nasty blows. But we are grieving for ourselves ultimately.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/12/2016 14:39

It's not what I call 'paying respects' either. It's something that fans want to do, to be visible. Doing it quietly or doing it with loud wailing, obviously the first is more respectful but some people think that they are free to behave however they want, no restrictions, when it comes to somebody's death. So they are, if they have no natural 'brakes', but it doesn't mean that other people won't think it a show.

Squeegle · 30/12/2016 15:54

I think what we are all agreeing on really is that we don't like "fake" grieving. And some of the ostentatious grief going on is perceived as fake. But let's just be generous and accept that we all grieve in our own way, and the death of a celebrity who may have been personally important to us even if we did not actually "know"them, can actually trigger a strong reaction.

Roussette · 30/12/2016 16:02

Well.... liz.... I have to say that I would be mightily pissed off if some stranger tidied up my Mum or Dad's grave , and cleaned the headstone I really would, because that is what family do, not strangers. In fact, I would be incadescent with rage, we family sort all that, what right has a stranger to come along and do that and how do you know deep down your idol's family don't feel like me?? You may like to think you are further up the pecking order than a stranger but really you are not, it is just obsessive behaviour by a fan who can't let go. Call that sanctimonious if you want but I would call doing that one step too far and throw in a Shock that someone would even contemplate messing around with someone's grave when they never even knew that person. Perhaps the family prefer the windswept messed up look and moss on the headstone?

Roussette · 30/12/2016 21:07

George Michael at Palais Garnier Opera House, Paris, on BBC4 now, first shown in 2012. I haven't seen this and think it might be really quite special.

KissingAFool · 30/12/2016 21:20

I saw this gig. I was so disappointed that he basically did loads of cheesy covers (Roxanne etc) when he had such amazing material to choose from. But live, his voice is incredible! And I'm so glad I saw him!

Roussette · 30/12/2016 21:33

Kissing you were there?? How wonderful!

I love the narration from him and the clips of him on this TV version

irregularegular · 30/12/2016 22:47

Well plenty of people are certainly visiting the one in Goring so youwon't be alone.

I went out of interest to see what had been left. But it is a few minutes walk away for me.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

EachandEveryone · 30/12/2016 22:52

That concert has been on tv three times now and as much as I was a fan it's not his finest hour. It just never really gets going.

KissingAFool · 31/12/2016 06:54

Each, I agree, it was veering dangerousl into Musak territory

EachandEveryone · 31/12/2016 07:03

My sister went mad that I'd told her to watch it and I've seen him live so many times before and always told her how amazing he was. I saw him at Wembley at Xmas when he did the album with Sounnibg the Wheel on. That was a very special night ending with Last Christmas. I'm trying to guess how many years ago it was.

EachandEveryone · 31/12/2016 07:05

Spinning the Wheel is one of my favourites he had the video showing LizTaylor.

feeona123 · 31/12/2016 22:20

Went to Goring today. Lots of people visiting and lots laying flowers.

A wide range of age groups and no 'car huggers'!

To want to visit George Michaels house
Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2016 22:21

What's going to happen to all those flowers and balloons? Sad What a waste.

Destinysdaughter · 31/12/2016 22:42

Why is it a waste? Are you saying that everyone who pays floral tributes at a funeral is wasting their money? Should we all just donate to charity instead? Stop policing how pp wish to mourn and express their feelings. Bet you wouldn't be saying this if it was that bloke from Duran Duran you're always banging on about...

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2016 22:59

Most funerals I have been to now say 'family flowers only'.

Banging on about? Confused

Fresta · 31/12/2016 23:00

Actually, most of the funerals I have been to have requested no flowers apart form immediate family and donations to a specified charity instead.

It depends on the personal preferences of the family or the deceased if they specify before their death. I can't help thinking George would be a bit embarrassed by all those tributes, he was always one to shy away away from big displays of affection like that.

southeastdweller · 01/01/2017 01:06

Who knows what George would have thought about the tributes but his family put out a statement a few days ago saying they're 'touched beyond words' by an 'outpouring of love' for him.

Sparklingbrook · 01/01/2017 01:08

Yes, but as I said upthread I don't think that was to be viewed as an invitation to bring more flowers. I think a lot of the love has been in print and online.

Roussette · 01/01/2017 08:54

I think it is a waste too. And yes to families often wanting family flowers only, I've been to a few funerals in the last couple of years unfortunately and absolutely no one gave flowers as it was asked not to. You could donate to a favourite charity instead if you so wished.

George was such a private man, and I think the outpouring of love was more the heartfelt tweets about him.

BigGreenOlives · 01/01/2017 09:02

When my mother died we said no flowers & my aunt said 'What about the florists?' People were happy to buy flowers, other people make a living from selling flowers which keeps them homed & fed. Let people do what they want as long as it does no harm.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/01/2017 09:03

Who knows what George would have thought about the tributes but his family put out a statement a few days ago saying they're 'touched beyond words' by an 'outpouring of love' for him.

That doesn't equate to come to the house with more flowers.

That statement is often given by families of famous people.