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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to visit George Michaels house

227 replies

jazzy57uk · 27/12/2016 23:11

I am a MASSIVE fan of 30+ years, have every record, TV/radio appearance and clippings galore. I am devastated by his death and would like to visit his London home to say goodbye. OH says is childish, pathetic and not appropriate- it's a private matter that should only be for people who actually knew him. I know he'll be massively disappointed if a go but I'll regret it if I don't. WWYD?

OP posts:
MuchasSmoochas · 28/12/2016 19:20

You are a right shower, really. If the OP is upset and this will make her feel better then what is the problem?

twinklefoot · 28/12/2016 19:26

Some MaQueen, but who are you to say how people feel is mawkish or macabre. Are you Harvard trained psychologist?Hmm

Waltermittythesequel · 28/12/2016 19:34

Imagine having to be sent home from work uncontrollably crying because a tragedy had befallen people you were unlikely to ever meet.

It's just not right, is it?

CaraAspen · 28/12/2016 19:39

"Lorelei76

Cara "Re. Princess Diana's death and the ghastly public mournathon that followed: where are all the mourners now? Nowhere to be seen."

you didn't want them to be still hanging out outside wherever it was did you?!"

No! But surely they could visit some sort of shrine every year?

GilMartin · 28/12/2016 19:40

It's turned grief into a competitive sport. I remember the rampant grieving for Madeline McCann, posters insisting they hadn't slept for days...had been sent home from work for uncontrollable crying etc.

Isn't that the truth. I agree with all you've written Ma.

It seems any death of a public figure turns into an ugly competition over who can 'grieve' hardest, noisiest and most publicly. Seemingly thinking 'how sad' or ''his/her family must be going through the mill' won't cut it.

The comment by a previous poster telling the op she should go, regardless of the feelings of the deceased's immediate family and gawp at the house of a man they'd never met, encapsulates the self endulgent and callous nature of what people on this thread have aptly labelled grief wanking.

twinklefoot · 28/12/2016 19:48

But no one thought that when Diana died and people lined the streets to pay their respects. What's the difference. Sorry I think your wrong. Being respectful and laying flowers is fine wailing and impinging your grief on others is wrong however.

twinklefoot · 28/12/2016 19:48

You're

Whatsername17 · 28/12/2016 19:55

When Robin Williams died his daughter was targeted by people who had been through her social media and lambasted her for not posting on his social media 'enough', claiming she should have done 'more' to stop him from hurting himself. It was vile. No one has a right to 'grieve ' for someone they didn't know at the expense of their actual family. People die and it is sad, but the death of a celeb doesn't stop you in your tracks or alter the day to day dynamic of your life. Grief walking- crude but apt.

tangerino · 28/12/2016 20:01

OP, people have been coming to the London house all week bringing flowers and candles but you can't get anywhere near the house itself (due to walls and security gate) and you won't be visible at all to anyone in the house. I think it's unlikely anyone would be bothered and in any case I suspect his family are nowhere near in order to avoid the press. It's on The Grove in Highgate.

If it would be helpful for you, I really can't see the harm. George was v well known and liked locally and lots of local people have been along to pay their respects- it's not just gawkers.

jojogoesbust · 28/12/2016 20:02

I'm a massive fan but I wouldn't go to his house. He was a massively private person, and his family have asked for privacy. Its different to paisley park as they were left at the gates. These are smack bang outside his house, and at some point his family will have to run the gauntlet of strangers.
Like others have said, spend the money on a donation and listen to his sweet soul voice. RIP George xx

Lorelei76 · 28/12/2016 20:03

Cara, maybe they do visit the memorial, light a candle on the day etc.

People were taking time off work for Madeleine mccann?

Agree with pp who said flowers will end up at local hospitals etc
Donations seem a better idea

GilMartin · 28/12/2016 20:04

The other thing is that these grief tourists are fuelling the whole media circus. They stand outside his house weeping and wailing for all they're worth and yet more paparazzi and journalists arrive on the scene to interview the faux grief stricken fans adding to the scrumage and purient interest at a time when his partner, family and friends are struggling to come to terms with his death.

Original poster
jazzy57uk · 28/12/2016 20:06

Thanks for the replies. Seems to be about half and half. As already mentioned he has homes in Goring and Highgate and his family did not live with him tho yes they may be there to sort things. I have decided I won't go and will donate to charity.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2016 20:10

twinklefoot, the SILENT lining of the streets by members of the public for Diana was very dignified. The wailing and screaming by some attention-seeking idiots was beyond disgusting. William and Harry walking behind the hearse and having to listen to that.

It really made me ashamed that we have people who are so melodramatic and give way so publicly... over somebody they don't know, whilst the sons walked on.

You don't need to be Harvard-trained, or any other kind of trained, to think that people should behave with a bit of dignity and composure.

I wonder how many of the screamers will be donating as well as wailing on the streets of London? Probably not many, it's not as gratifying if nobody can actually SEE you donating, is it?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2016 20:12

Good for you, OP. I cross-posted with you in my last.

Davros · 28/12/2016 20:17

I know exactly where he lived in London, it's not far from me. Kate Moss, Jamie Oliver and Boy George also live there. It's like Stellar Street! But, although they are being and sumptuous houses, they are close to eachother as opposed to country estate type places. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted his neighbours disturbed, never mind anyone else. I think it's just bad manners

Lorelei76 · 28/12/2016 20:21

Good plan jazzy.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2016 20:31

Half and half?

MaQueen · 28/12/2016 20:37

Twinkle what arrant nonsense...do I have to be a 'Harvard trained psychologist' to tell if someone is happy or sad, too Hmm

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/12/2016 20:40

Ah bless you , if it means that much and you are 100% sure no one will mind (i.e. His family ) go

I think I read that they were very touched by his fans

PolaDeVeboise · 28/12/2016 20:41

FFS, some of you lot are just plain nasty. Who the fuck do you think you are telling people that what they feel is not real or, indeed, attention seeking? Those who have followed GM's career from early on will feel as if they 'know' him and, consequently, will feel some sense of loss at the news. Ultimately, how well does anyone really 'know' anyone else - we only see what others want us to.

twinklefoot · 28/12/2016 20:44

It's just the way you are so certain that people are faking grief Maqueen. I just presumed you had some expertise in this field. Sorry my mistake.

Empress13 · 28/12/2016 20:49

No different to everyone laying flowers outside KP when Diana died!

OP if you want to go and lay some flowers and pay your respects (plenty have) then go.

If nobody had turned up and the family had expressed wishes they wanted the house to be left alone then fair enough but hundreds have gone.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2016 20:50

For anyone just joining the thread refer to OPs update about not going....

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2016 20:53

Empress, do you really think people would respect the family's wishes either way? I don't.