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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to visit George Michaels house

227 replies

jazzy57uk · 27/12/2016 23:11

I am a MASSIVE fan of 30+ years, have every record, TV/radio appearance and clippings galore. I am devastated by his death and would like to visit his London home to say goodbye. OH says is childish, pathetic and not appropriate- it's a private matter that should only be for people who actually knew him. I know he'll be massively disappointed if a go but I'll regret it if I don't. WWYD?

OP posts:

cbigs · 27/12/2016 23:45

Wow seems not just your oh lacking empathy op ... as a world wide mega star I'm fairly sure the family won't fine op quietly paying respects on the street outside his house too intrusive. Particularly as he lived alone and they wont even be there most likely ...
it wouldn't be my choice op but if it would be meaningful to you do it .
Comments like grow up get a grip and don't be silly are really unpleasant .

Pluto30 · 27/12/2016 23:46

Don't do it.

I'm not going to criticise your grief because that's not the issue here (and I don't think mourning a celebrity is insane); the issue is that the last thing the family will want to deal with is hundreds/thousands of crying fans leaving shit on the doorstep that they then have to deal with in addition to all of the usual fanfare.

Just don't.

Lorelei76 · 27/12/2016 23:47

My cousin wants to go
I said on the other thread id feel concerned that his loved ones might find it problematic.
Have they said anything? Maybe watch for indications of what they think. There will be press there of course.

None of your DH business though, do what you are happy with.

If you are travelling into London then you could donate money to one of the charities he supported?

I'm going to be about 20 mins walk from the house tomorrow but I don't think I'll go. I did ponder it.

spidey66 · 27/12/2016 23:49

I thought he lived outside London...in Kent somewhere?

MiddleClassProblem · 27/12/2016 23:50

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38446413

spidey66 · 27/12/2016 23:52

Aorry not Kent, Oxfordshire. Goring on Thames.

spidey66 · 27/12/2016 23:53

Sorry...too much cider.

Sparklingbrook · 27/12/2016 23:59

I don't think the family saying they are touched by kind words is an open invitation for all and sundry to get down to his house.

SanityAssassin · 28/12/2016 00:01

Err He lived in Goring-On-Thames (I think) which is somewhere up around Reading (or at least closer to Reading than London).

Save yourself the journey and do your own thing - George will never know whatever you do as he is sadly dead - whatever you chose is for you not him (can't benefit him in any way).

(massive WHAM!) fan as a teen here)

DonaldStott · 28/12/2016 00:04

Agree Destiny

I think that people who think you don't get the right to grieve unless you are some way related, have not had their lives touched in the way we have

Lorelei76 · 28/12/2016 00:04

he had a London home as well....he was a Norf London boy after all!

Brewdolf · 28/12/2016 00:06

I think personally I'll send a n extra donation or attend an event for a charity or cause he was keen on.

His music was the soundtrack to my life in someways but as attached to him as I feel I will never be as much as his family who deserve some peace at this time.

However its a personal thing and quietly laying some flowers may actually touch his family for all I know

DonaldStott · 28/12/2016 00:06

I'm sure the families will be so proud to see how much their lost ones meant to people. Why do they make music otherwise?

Liiinoo · 28/12/2016 00:08

I am with OP - assuming she is not intending to go there and make a scene and claim GM was her best mate I don't think her turning up quietly, shedding a few tears and leaving a bunch of flowers would hurt his family in any way.

I am not suggesting that this is on anything like the same level but my DD had a very junior management job in a huge London based institution. When he died many, many people we didn't know came to the funeral and shed a tear for him. Even more sent us cards and letters care of the institution. Far from being annoyed that these strangers were hi-jacking our grief we were proud and grateful that so many people wanted to honour him even though his role in their lives was transitory.

feeona123 · 28/12/2016 00:14

Go if you want to!

I live near Goring....I might go for a walk by the river

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2016 00:16

Is there a church in Goring, a book of condolence? That would make more sense. Maybe light a candle.

nancy75 · 28/12/2016 00:28

He has a house in north London, Highgate I think? That's where people are visiting and leaving flowers I believe? Why does anyone think it would bother his family? He was a single man, his family don't live in the house.

EachandEveryone · 28/12/2016 00:37

He lived in Highgate Kate Moss said in an interview last week that she used to jump over tge neighbours fence to use his pool. Its a bus ride from me but my sister says id be nuts to go. I went to his two free gigs for nurses i was tempted to go and leave a note saying thanks fron the nurses but my sister is begging me not to!

OverTheGardenGate · 28/12/2016 00:39

I don't think it's unreasonable to be saddened by the death of an artist who has touched one's life. To be devastated is over the top if one is an adult. A pilgrimage to the house is several steps too far. I would be surprised if any of my friends did this. It's odd.

DancingDragon · 28/12/2016 01:44

I think that people who think you don't get the right to grieve unless you are some way related, have not had their lives touched in the way we have

Oh fuck. i argued a few days ago that people can lose a close loved one but still grieve for the famous that had gone too, but actually your words sound a little bit crazy.

liz70 · 28/12/2016 02:07

If it means that much to you then don't worry about what others think. If you wish to visit and quietly spend a few minutes, leave some flowers, then do so. I'm sure you will be respectful and non-intrusive. I visit the grave of my favourite singer each birthday and anniversary and leave flowers and a card; I have met and chatted with several relatives and friends, sometimes at the graveside. None of them have ever had a problem with fans paying their respects and similarly I doubt that George's family would either so long as it's done appropriately. Just do what you feel is right.

NotBadConsidering · 28/12/2016 08:38

I'll come with you if you do. Just wake me up before you go go.

Squeegle · 28/12/2016 08:46

I think if you want to go it's not unreasonable at all. It's a very normal thing to want to pay respects to someone whose life has touched you. He lived alone, I am sure many people are doing the same, it is an understandable human reaction to mourn someone, .

clumsyduck · 28/12/2016 08:51

Yes seen the Photos of people leaving flowers outside his London home . If you want to go op then go

I have no idea why people seem to think gm had his entire family living in one home

Rosa · 28/12/2016 08:54

OTT ...agree use the money that you would have spent on flowers and transport to donate to a charity that he believed in. I am another fan, was at the final concert at Wembley with back stage passes . However I do not get this hysterical crying and all this other ' he totally affected my life therefore I must show my grief in someway. 'It is sad, very sad as he was a talented person who has died too early. Let his family and close friends have the respect that they deserve .

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