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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to visit George Michaels house

227 replies

jazzy57uk · 27/12/2016 23:11

I am a MASSIVE fan of 30+ years, have every record, TV/radio appearance and clippings galore. I am devastated by his death and would like to visit his London home to say goodbye. OH says is childish, pathetic and not appropriate- it's a private matter that should only be for people who actually knew him. I know he'll be massively disappointed if a go but I'll regret it if I don't. WWYD?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 28/12/2016 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SellFridges · 28/12/2016 09:13

I would perhaps be inclined to wait until they announce any funeral details. If there is to be some kind of public memorial I would try to attend that.

Otherwise, I think the charity donation is a great idea and maybe a night with a glass of wine dancing to his music.

JustSpeakSense · 28/12/2016 09:17

If you want to pay tribute to him and his life why don't you make a donation to one of the many charities he supported.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 28/12/2016 09:18

I don't think anyone has said his family live there.

They will, however, have a lot to sort out. Can you imagine going to sort out your family members paperwork or things and being greeted with hundreds of crying people outside while you just want to get on with what needs to be done.

I guess there will be a tribute concert or something, keep an eye out for announcements and go to that.

Destinysdaughter · 28/12/2016 09:33

How do pp know his address anyway...??

Blacksox · 28/12/2016 09:36

It's ghoulish imo. Can't bear to see these grief tourists.

Stay home, listen to his music, think about him. Going my to his home is weird and intrusive.

NotBadConsidering · 28/12/2016 09:38

Destinysdaughter

Probably careless whispers.

AnUtterIdiot · 28/12/2016 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddleClassProblem · 28/12/2016 09:43

Sending flowers would be so annoying if someone is there! Constantly answering the door when you are grieving. Far worse than someone leaving them outside and not disturbing. Having said that I come from a family where we don't really do any of that so I would go with a donation if felt that strongly

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2016 09:46

Just think of all the ££s spent on those flowers etc (that will get rained on then subsequently binned) that could have been donated to charity.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/12/2016 09:46

Read your thread again and see what posters have written.

I'm sorry his death has affected you so much but it's clearly a bad idea to many of us for you to visit his home, I agree with your Husband , don't do it.

choppolata · 28/12/2016 09:59

My friends went to the London house, there were not many people there. They didn’t ring the doorbell, that's going a bit too far! But go if you want to, George meant a lot to many, and I think visiting is a nice way of showing this.

WannaBe · 28/12/2016 10:02

All this competitive grief has nothing to do with the individual and everything to do with the people who are "grieving" in a "look at me" type way.

It's not` grief. Those who claim to be grieving what exactly is it you're grieving for? You didn't know him, you never met him, weren't going to not ever see him again as a family member or friend would. Those who are grieving are grieving because they remember his music. Music which incidentally didn't die with him.

Going to the house is just self indulgent nonsense. And for those who say that if the OP went quietly she wouldn't be intruding. Perhaps not if it were only the OP, except it wouldn't be would it? There are already thousands of grief tourists going down there so she would just be one in among thousands. Hardly non intrusive is it? Hmm.

It's incredibly sad when anyone dies. Sad for the life they won't get to live. Sad for the family who will never see them again. But that is about them, and the loved ones they've had to leave behind. It's not about the public needing to show that they're "grieving" for a public persona which in fact still lives on in the music, films, writing, whatever it is that they became famous for.

WannaBe · 28/12/2016 10:04

Oh, and he wasn't single. He may have been living alone (I have no idea,) but he was found by his partner according to the news reports. But I thought that those who knew all about him would have known that?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/12/2016 10:05

I said on another grief thread that the legacy of Musicians, Actors and Writers , etc , lives on, you can still listen his his music ,you've got that forever.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2016 10:17

Notbad, why are you doing all these cringey 'jokes'? My dad always thought it appropriate and funny when it wasn't too.

Jazzy, I don't like your idea of going however much you liked him. It just doesn't seem right and it's a heck of a waste of money. That money could and would be used by charity for good; something good to come out of a sad situation.

I cringed at all the marmite for Jade Goody... so many people who thought that the only 'proper grief' for somebody they didn't know was loudly and officiously demonstrated so that everybody knew they were 'grieving'.

I absolutely get that it's a shock, I have been shocked myself and do feel a sense of loss and sadness that somebody I've admired has gone... but grief and pain? That is the province of family/friends only, or it is in my book. I think it's really mawkish to affect feelings only after somebody has died.

What were his favourite charities? I think that's a great tribute and it's what I'll be doing.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2016 10:26

Very much agree with StillStayingClassy and WannaBe's posts. Grief tourist is a harsh term perhaps, but that's exactly what it is.

NotBadConsidering · 28/12/2016 10:58

Lying probably because they were natural segues. And because George himself had a wicked, self-depreciating sense of humour that he regularly displayed in the face of difficult circumstances (cf Outside). And because they were no more or less appropriate than calling someone a "Grief Tourist".

OP it's been revealed how incredibly benevolent he was to numerous charities, I echo pp about donations. Don't go to his house, donate the travel money to Childline.

Lorelei76 · 28/12/2016 10:59

I think it's grief tourism if you end up just going in order to look at it like some people did with Diana.

if you genuinely want to leave something it's a bit different.

I didn't articulate my concern too well yesterday - as I said, my cousin wants to go and leave something too. However, much as i understand wanting to leave something there, I think a big part of the issue is the press and lawd knows GM spent enough time trying to cope with them anyway. The more people leave stuff at his home, the more the press will hang out, the harder it will be for his people to try and manage....etc etc.

they are now saying he will be buried in Highgate cemetery though whether or not the grave will be accessible I don't know.

one poster has asked how people know where he lives - if it's an area where you normally go - I live in an outer burb of London and hate going central if I am not already there for work - then you will know won't you.

specialsubject · 28/12/2016 11:26

The name of the village is well publicised. My thoughts are with his partner who found him dead and does not need grief tourists outside.

Donate to a charity - addiction, lgbt rights might be appropriate.

CaraAspen · 28/12/2016 11:29

Just don't. Those people who behave as if the world is ending are OTT. Do this away from the cameras if you must.
I am embarrassed on their behalf.

CaraAspen · 28/12/2016 11:31

Re. Princess Diana's death and the ghastly public mournathon that followed: where are all the mourners now? Nowhere to be seen. It was aaaaaaall superficial and frankly distasteful.

Lorelei76 · 28/12/2016 11:45

Cara "Re. Princess Diana's death and the ghastly public mournathon that followed: where are all the mourners now? Nowhere to be seen."

you didn't want them to be still hanging out outside wherever it was did you?!

Celaena · 28/12/2016 11:51

oh for goodness sake - if people want to go and see where he lived, or leave a little something. then do it.
so long as they are sympathetic to the people still there, and neighbours, I dont see a problem - they're sharing that they miss and loved him. that should bring some comfort to the family left.

why do people have to be so sniffy about it - if you dont want to go, then dont.

"Re. Princess Diana's death and the ghastly public mournathon that followed: where are all the mourners now? Nowhere to be seen. It was aaaaaaall superficial and frankly distasteful."

hahaha - no, they are still there, nearly 20 years later.....

Fresta · 28/12/2016 12:11

I was a huge fan too, but agree with WannaBe. If you want to leave a tribute, do it online somewhere- leave it on his Facebook page, his website, his twitter feed etc. There is nothing to be achieved by visiting his house.