To think this is my mums fault and DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

[FloralBarbourCoat]

Mum, Dad, Dbro and GF arrived for Christmas last night.

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

At dinner DBro and his GF handed me, Mum and Dad a Christmas card with a baby scan in it- so she has announced she is pregnant.

Mum then gets overexcited and blurts out that she can expect two grandchildren next year. Cue serious face from me- and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all. Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Anyway DBro GF got up from the table in tears. Everyone just looked awkward until DH said to DBro I think you should go and make sure shes OK (hes one of those awkward types ). DBro does so and comes back 10 minutes later to say that he and GF would be leaving and spending Christmas elsewhere.

Mum and Dad have managed to convince them to stay- but theres an incredibly bad atmosphere. DBro GF wont even look at me never mind talk to me despite my efforts.

DH has suggested we go for a walk/quick drink with DD for a few hours as im getting quite upset about it.

I do understand why DBro GF is upset but Aibu to think it isnt my fault?!

I'm really surprised by people saying @what a drama queen" or "why isn't anyone else allowed to be pregnant?" - no where is it suggested that the gf expects to be the centre of attention for her whole pregnancy or even for the whole day! It certainly doesn't suggest she will be pfb or is anniyed at the op for being pregnant. She is overreacting by saying they will leave but I imagine she's feeling enormously embarrassed and snubbed. "Oh your pg? So am I!! As I'm hosting and all these people are my family, we'll obviously be talking about my pregnancy and not yours."

Surely people can understand that when you've waited weeks to tell people something that you are really excited about and know they will be excited by, to have it immediately trumped by someone else's news is gutting. Yes it's a bit selfish but aren't we allowed to be a little selfish at times?

Other pps have made good comparisons - if the op had chosen this moment to announce her engagement or that she was moving to Australia it would be seen as hugely bad form.

Your mum was rude and manage to "blurt" news that she new full well was still a secret. She needs to apologise and make a bit of a fuss of gf.

I'm afraid I find getting up from the table in tears is really pathetic behaviour. Perhaps others find that odd but in her shoes I'd be really excited that my dc would have a cousin close in age. However I know lots of woman think pregnancy/engagement/childbirth means they should be the total centre of attention to the exclusion of everyone else's news.
At my engagement party my dh's cousins wife decided to announce her pregnancy. Of course dh's side of the family were more excited about that and my family had to join in the joy. For special effect she had to run to the toilet a few times to be sick! It didn't bother me, I knew she was trying to be the centre of attention. I didn't even want an engagement party anyway!

I'd hold out an olive branch to her and tell her you wouldn't have wanted mil to say anything, but she did - and tell her how pleased you are for her.
Your mil should have kept quiet and let her have her moment of glory.
It's not worth all falling out over when you should all be happy for each other is it?

Your dm should really have tried to contain herself. It wasn't her news to share and she could see the gf was trying to have a moment. Gf is, however, totally OTT. I hope she doesn't sulk/spoil Christmas.

What eatsshit said.

She needs to grow up - I would have allowed her to leave rather than behave so poorly that she is spoiling your Christmas.

Tell DB she needs to shape up or ship out.

OP

Your mum is a dick for letting it slip.

Your mum, dad and MiL are dicks for not sharing the 'love' around.

I await the 'My SiL won't let my parents be involved with the pregnancy/birth/grandchild' threads.

Although i suspect that from your thread your parents will be more involved with yours than hers.

Please don't take happychristmasbum's advice, its frankly shit.

Especially if you want anything to do with your DB and SiL and their family in future.

Does SIL have form for being such a brat?

Are you not "allowed" to be pregnant at the same time as her?

Agree with PP - your DM was tactless but seriously, she needs to get over herself!

I agree with Wellthen

Yes sil hasn't behaved perfectly BUT can anyone here honestly say they have always acted perfectly in every situation.

Sometimes your emotions can get too much and she's bloody human.

Massive overreaction from SIL.

Normal reaction would be to congratulate you - especially as you have had problems TTC, which I am assuming SIL knows about?

I would be really fucked off with her behaviour, especially at Christmas - all that teenage tantruming and saying she will go home? Really?

Hopefully she is just overwhelmed with hormones and will apologise in the morning for being so rude - and your mother owes you an apology for being such a blabbermouth!!

I still think the sulking is not on from gf. I don't think you owe any type of apology to her, though. I don't think anyone has to keep quiet over happy news just because someone else is celebrating.

But given the situation, maybe you could turn the focus on her for awhile and say how lovely it will be to have cousins so close together. Ask her questions. And try to contain your mum if she gushes a bit too much over you.

But if they continue to pout, l'd just leave them to it and proceed with the merriment that is Christmas.

YABU for one of the worst written posts ever on this board!

Normal reaction would be to congratulate you - especially as you have had problems TTC, which I am assuming SIL knows about?

The OP said she wasn't even trying when she conceived with her second.

Her first child she was trying for 2 years.

bluebeck

especially as you have had problems TTC, which I am assuming SIL knows about?

Not sure where you have got this from.

I'm sure that the gf didn't expect the whole of Christmas to be about her, but five whole minutes might have been nice.

And this is one of those moments that she will never get back, I suspect that she has also realised where in the family pecking order she comes.

Gosh this poor woman, pregnant for the first time, presumably excited, gets upset when her news is virtually pissed on & is called pathetic & a brat on here.

Umm yes - because she behaved like a brat....

A brat? Because she cried? She might have been really hurt, or emotional. Because she left the table? Maybe she didn't want to sob in front of everyone? Because she wanted to leave? Well, if she just realised her and her baby were last in order of importance in the family she might have want to go back home or to her family.

Your brother's GF needs to stop being so rude to you in your own home fgs.

I would have been over the moon to have a sibling who was having a baby at the same time as me and would hope it was something we could bond over. Your brother's GF is very precious and will likely be a nightmare over the next 6 months and more.

You need to tell your mother off for blurting it out. She had no right to say anything and should have kept her mouth shut.

Gamerchick....really. Very light on thinking there. I guess you'd interpret birthdays as embarrassing celebrations of a couples sex life too then

No, can't see I do. Should I?

I really don't get the whole stealing thunder thing. Surely it's double the excitement for you both. You will be able to talk bumps and babies with someone who is interested and not just nodding along. Plus the cousins will be really close in age which will be great.
Out of interest which of you is due first and by how much?

Your mum is a dick for letting it slip.

Absolutely. I'd be really upset with my mother - not just for blurting out something I'd asked her not to tell anyone else, but for doing it right then, and for being 'happier' for me than my brother.

That's so horrible of your parents, OP. Really, really mean of them. And how did you react when they made this clear, by the way? Because I suspect GF thinks you're fine with it. Either that or she's taking it out on you because she can't tell your parents to fuck right off.

I feel so sorry for your brother's girlfriend - both here and IRL!

The poor woman has come to stay with her brother's sister for Christmas and she and her DP planned to announce their pregnancy to his family over dinner ... only to have their announcement totally glossed over as her MIL announces that her daughter is also pg, as an aside. The host says nothing whilst the host's in-laws are all happily celebrating their impending grandchild, as are her DP's parents ... I can imagine being upset in that circumstance!

She wanted to make an announcement about her first pregancy and was trumped by her host, and she was expected to just be okay with that! It was supposed to be a special moment for her and her DP and it was totally ruined, albeit unintentionally. I don't blame her for being upset and feeling really awkward at the thought of having to spend the next few days with all the people who watched her get upset to the point of leaving the dinner table and nobody came to check on her except her own partner.

So perhaps she just said to her partner "I don't feel comfortable being here, I feel embarrassed at getting so upset and just feel it will be awkward to spend time with your family and their in-laws while they all talk about your sister, especially as she is hosting so we can hardly aviod her. Can we just go home please?" and he agreed to put his partner first, as so many people always advocate people doing on MN.

If the OP could actually explain her situation with any clarity and might be able to form an opinion and comment...

Your brothers girlfriend is an idiot

Oh and congratulations!!!