To think this is my mums fault and DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

[FloralBarbourCoat]

Mum, Dad, Dbro and GF arrived for Christmas last night.

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

At dinner DBro and his GF handed me, Mum and Dad a Christmas card with a baby scan in it- so she has announced she is pregnant.

Mum then gets overexcited and blurts out that she can expect two grandchildren next year. Cue serious face from me- and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all. Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Anyway DBro GF got up from the table in tears. Everyone just looked awkward until DH said to DBro I think you should go and make sure shes OK (hes one of those awkward types ). DBro does so and comes back 10 minutes later to say that he and GF would be leaving and spending Christmas elsewhere.

Mum and Dad have managed to convince them to stay- but theres an incredibly bad atmosphere. DBro GF wont even look at me never mind talk to me despite my efforts.

DH has suggested we go for a walk/quick drink with DD for a few hours as im getting quite upset about it.

I do understand why DBro GF is upset but Aibu to think it isnt my fault?!

I agree your mum needs to apologise to your brothers gf but you haven't done anything wrong. I think she is having a bit of an overreaction anyway, I would have probably been mildly pissed at the moment stealing but I would have quietly coped with it rather than make a giant fuss and ruin Christmas.

It's not anyone's fault because no one did anything wrong.

She sounds like a bloody drama queen.

Don't make your poor mum feel worse about this.

Why don't people read threads properly before commenting? It was obvious the OP was talking about her MIL with biological comment.

Apologise for what? Being an excited granny?

They are all family for goodness sake, they can be happy for each other.

we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all

FloralBarbourCoat, is it all about you?

Did your brother and his wife offer you any congratulations, OP?

Your mum really fucked up, she should be saying sorry to both of you. She had no right to blurt out your news when you'd carefully planned a thoughtful way to do it. It wasn't her news to tell. How do you feel about that OP?

She totally shat all over your SIL's announcement of her first pregnancy too - you don't get to do that twice. Poor SIL. It's horrible that she's happier for you than for her other expected grandchild. She needs to repair this relationship somehow.

I doubt SIL is blaming you, I think she is probably just sad and doesn't want her Christmas any more ruined than it has been. I think I'd leave too.

The gf is the unreasonable one. You and your mother and MIL did nothing wrong. If the gf can't understand that not everyone is going to be as excited as she is about her pregnancy then is she mature enough to be bringing another human life into the world?

OP'S MIL - HER HUSBANDS MONTHER- WAS THE ONE HAPPIER, NOT HER MOTHER

Jesus. How do people live with this level of absolutely unnecessary drama in their lives?

(I still don't really understand what anyone is upset about)

Surely in most families, the mum says she will have two DGC, the expecting couples look at each other and say wow how wonderful, hug each other and compare notes

I'd be annoyed if my mum told people before I was ready. However the GF is acting like a 12 year old. Me me me I want to be the centre of attention me me me me.

This is the problem with social media; everyone thinks they're the star of their own reality TV programme and wants Kardashian levels of gushing and attention if they so much as get a new haircut. the GF needs to grow the fuck up IMO.

MistressMerryWeather The OP does say in her post Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year

Well, yes haveacupoftea.

That would be the mature thing to do.

HoHoHo....wait until they have both been born.....then watch the shit storm unfold !!!!!!! This is just the start of years of dramarama

what are the due dates ???

Completely agree haveacup

I'm sorry, but she is BVU. What a weird way to behave. Surely most people would be thrilled to hear that there will be a little cousin born at about the same time?

Who the fuck sulks anyway?! Toddlers sulk! She's a 26 year old adult woman. If you're annoyed you roll your eyes to yourself and let shit go because you're a grown up and not a little child having a little princess tantrum! Honestly OP I'd a) laugh at her and b) question if she's got the maturity to bring up a child. God help the nursery/teachers when the time comes....

People just feel differently about things and you can't do anything about that. You may find OP that it will be an indicaton of what will happen in future. I was a bit about my DSis waiting until Christmas Day a few years back to tell everyone about her first pregnancy and casting it as some sort of amazing incredible surprise for everyone. Yes I was happy for her, and it's always lovely to welcome a new member of the family but it wasn't exactly the be-all and end-all of everyone else's lifelong existence in the way she assumed it was. But we are just different, and I think I'm just not as self-absorbed as she is. She is the same about birthdays, whereas I sort of assume that everyone else's life doesn't get put on hold for your birthday once you get past the age of about 18 unless it's a significant number. No doubt she thinks I'm equally weird about other stuff- That's families for you (disclaimer: I can feel even-tempered about extended families today as we are having a lovely Christmas at home with just the 4 of us )

You might expect the baby's grandparents to be interested though Gaspode. And to be able to prioritise congratulating you for 5 minutes before changing the focus to your other favourite child.

Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year

Copied and pasted from the op^. Not ok to be happier for one couple over the other, especially when one half of each couple one of your kids.

That must have been so very hurtful. They must have been waiting for the moment to announce and then to have it swept aside with your news so swiftly is tough.

I can understand why your db gf (sil) is upset. Your Mum was insensitive and shouldn't have said anything.

You weren't bothered to have your surprise announcement split, your brother and his partner are.

I didn't have any announcements.

Pottering, I got interrupted in the middle of reading the OP by an urgent request for sticky tape & skipped a line or two. Hopefully that will probably be the most dramatic thing to happen here this afternoon.