To think this is my mums fault and DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

[FloralBarbourCoat]

Mum, Dad, Dbro and GF arrived for Christmas last night.

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

At dinner DBro and his GF handed me, Mum and Dad a Christmas card with a baby scan in it- so she has announced she is pregnant.

Mum then gets overexcited and blurts out that she can expect two grandchildren next year. Cue serious face from me- and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all. Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Anyway DBro GF got up from the table in tears. Everyone just looked awkward until DH said to DBro I think you should go and make sure shes OK (hes one of those awkward types ). DBro does so and comes back 10 minutes later to say that he and GF would be leaving and spending Christmas elsewhere.

Mum and Dad have managed to convince them to stay- but theres an incredibly bad atmosphere. DBro GF wont even look at me never mind talk to me despite my efforts.

DH has suggested we go for a walk/quick drink with DD for a few hours as im getting quite upset about it.

I do understand why DBro GF is upset but Aibu to think it isnt my fault?!

I could understand her being a little bit upset, if YOU'D announced your good news. But it was your mum - who was understandably excited at 2 new GCs. YANBU. The GF and your Brother are behaving badly.

I'm a bit confused by the mothers and brothers and who's related to who?

The OP says their mother was more excited for her for various reasons. Regardless of the MIL confusion, that is unreasonable and hurtful to the SIL.

Why are you getting your dad and your MIL a present? That your mum needs to help you with? And that requires her knowing your are 4/5w PG?

And yes the OP did say that her parents were happier for her than for their son's announcement.

Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us

I don't know why the MIL happiness comment.

Anywhooo I hope one of your presents is a grammar book - particularly one on the use of pronouns.

I didn't read it that MIL is there at all, only one mum with son DB & daughter OP. Who are both expecting babies.? Will go back to beginning!

She sounds very childish and self absorbed. I was around 8 weeks pregnant last Christmas and would have loved someone else to be pregnant to shift the focus away from me, I hate being fussed over.

MIL is being told 'tomorrow with a special' something.

I feel sad for your brother's GF, she must have feel like nobody cares about her baby if the answer to "I am pregnant" is "FloralBarbourCoat" too! And everybody fussing about you.

Yes the crying/sulking/leaving is too much but still. And you give the impression that you think you deserve more attention/congratulations than her. Is it always like that in your family (you come first, DB and GF second)?

so what have all the parents of all the people who are expecting babies done to put this right? are they just sat in the kitchen scoffing mince pies now? Or have they sought out whoever is upset and put it right?

''and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year''

Err...ok then. So dbro's gf makes her big announcement, your mum chimes in with your news...and all of a sudden everyone's happier for you.

Yeah that probably hurt.

Surely in most families, the mum says she will have two DGC, the expecting couples look at each other and say wow how wonderful, hug each other and compare notes

This^

Obviously, OPs mum shouldn't have blurted out about OPs pregnancy as it wasn't her news to tell so I can understand OP being a bit irritated about it but not sure I could get overly worked up if I'm honest, as I really don't get the competitive pregnancy thing at all.

Whole situation seems needlessly overdramatic. I struggle to understand this great need to be the centre of attention when a pregnancy is announced- so much so that must not be distracted from by anything or anyone else. It seems quite childish to me. Happiness/congratulations/joy at good news are not like having a pie where there is only a set amount that can be given out at one time and if there is more than one piece of good news this means that each person receives less.

The only part that seems unfair is that OPs mum and dad are a bit happier for OP and her partner than her DB and his GF. OPs parents should not have allowed this to be obvious. I don't understand the problem re her MIL- it seems obvious that OPs MIL would be happier about her own GC than the pregnancy of her DIL brother & his partner.

Sorry, I missed that bit. Too many mums and MILs.

I still think it's an overreaction.

I feel sad for your brother's GF, she must have feel like nobody cares about her baby if the answer to "I am pregnant" is "FloralBarbourCoat" too! And everybody fussing about you.

Yes, this. Your mum and dad are being very unreasonable. And I suspect there is a backstory around this.

Your DM was a little insensitive announcing it then but it sounds like it was just down to genuine excitement as opposed to malice. Your SiL is being dramatic by the sound of it (unless there's some giant back story of competition between you and your DB's family?). Hopefully she's just hormonal/super excited about the baby and will calm down. I would put extra effort into making sure she knows you're all excited for her baby and try to put the bad atmosphere to one side.

I think both mil and mum should have pretended they were equally happy for both pregnancies.

Plus...if your mum blurted out your news, she already knew about it so had had time to process it. There was no excuse for making her favouritism clear last night.

I know you say it was your MIL that was more pleased for you (understandable) but you say your parents are also happier for you too (shitty).

Let's face it...it was a shitfest for db's gf. It's not your fault no...but you still sound as though you believe the favouritism is justifiable because of your circumstances. It's not.

Your mum and dad seem happier for you than for their son - that is so horrible. If I was gf I'd be in tears too. She's not only had her news gazumped, but her inlaws want to fuss of their daughter and not their son.

They need to do some massive apologising.

It's bloody hard trying to be part of someone else's family. Your mums probably just confirmed all her worries

I can see why she's upset but also agree it's not your fault. Could you go for a walk the two of you and have a chat? And you can take the chance to tell her how you would have felt upset in that situation too, ask when her due date is, if she's going to find out the sex etc.

Your brother's GF is being ridiculous to be crying over this. A bit miffed maybe, but surely the standard reaction is omg how exciting cousins the same age!

I'd be quite annoyed if my DM put me in that situation though. and if it was obvious that she was more excited for her daughter than her son then that's really horrible for your DB

Allthewaves has summed up my thoughts really.

I can just imagine how excited the gf and DB must have been to share their news only to see it eclipsed a second later.

I think the confusion comes from the fact that MIL isn't mentioned really in the OP until the comment about being happier about her own biological grandchild.

Don't people remember how batshit crazy pregnancy hormones make you? I'm not saying the GF is right, but I used to cry at anything when I was pregnant. She probably wants to be caught up in her own family's excitement at her pregnancy and instead your MiL is making her feel second best.

Good luck and hope it's sorted and calmed down now.

The GF is being is bloody drama queen and needs to get a grip.

It's actually lovely when you think about it, two new arrivals to look forward to next year.

She's behaving like a spoilt brat. Personally I'd let her go home if she insists on ruining Christmas for everyone.

I think you should go find your SIL and tell her how brilliant it will be to have cousins the same age.