To think this is my mums fault and DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

[FloralBarbourCoat]

Mum, Dad, Dbro and GF arrived for Christmas last night.

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

At dinner DBro and his GF handed me, Mum and Dad a Christmas card with a baby scan in it- so she has announced she is pregnant.

Mum then gets overexcited and blurts out that she can expect two grandchildren next year. Cue serious face from me- and DBro GF who feels like I have stolen her thunder as Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all. Naturally while MIL congratulated DBro/GF she is obviously more excited about her own biological grandchild.

Anyway DBro GF got up from the table in tears. Everyone just looked awkward until DH said to DBro I think you should go and make sure shes OK (hes one of those awkward types ). DBro does so and comes back 10 minutes later to say that he and GF would be leaving and spending Christmas elsewhere.

Mum and Dad have managed to convince them to stay- but theres an incredibly bad atmosphere. DBro GF wont even look at me never mind talk to me despite my efforts.

DH has suggested we go for a walk/quick drink with DD for a few hours as im getting quite upset about it.

I do understand why DBro GF is upset but Aibu to think it isnt my fault?!

I feel really sorry for SIL.

" Mum and Dad who are genuinley happy for Dbro and GF- do seem happier for us"

WTAF is that all about?

Surely in most families, the mum says she will have two DGC, the expecting couples look at each other and say wow how wonderful, hug each other and compare notes

This. She sounds like an immature drama queen. Bit miffed that she was not the centre of attention like she imagined - fine. In tears and leaving is way way over the top.

In the OP it says: "do seem happier for us as we have had a really shit year (FIL passing away, moving away and all the shit we get from MIL, DHs depression and the first couple of months this year were a bit bumpy financially) plus its a massive surprise as it took us 2 years to concieve with DD so the fact we have fallen pregnant without even trying has been a massive surprise to us all"

I'm sorry but that's shit for your DBro and his GF! How awful it must be to announce a pregnancy and for your in laws to appear more excited for your Sister in Law. I actually can understand why they may feel upset.

Good grief.

Mind I always think that people want to tell other people in a special way that they had sex are probably prone to be a bit drama queen like.

Just let them go if they want or maybe you go have a chat with her.

YANBU, it is not your fault. She/they are utterly mad. Of course it is a shame, they meant to have the lime light and your mum made a mistake in sharing your news early BUT bearing in mind some people struggle for years and never have a baby your Dbro's GF is acting pretty crazy.

I don't see how the fact that you have had a "shit year" should mean your pregnancy is more exciting than your brother's especially as for all your mother knows your brother and his girlfriend may have had a shit year too. If I was the girlfriend I would feel angry on behalf of my DP if I saw him being treated less favourably. The fact that you think it is okay suggests it may not be unusual and perhaps she has had enough.

It's not your fault but the poor woman had her thunder completely stolen and everyone's more excited about your baby not hers, when it should be equal. Not surprised they're both pissed off.

I do agree of course that it's not your fault & she might have been upset with you whenever she found out-obviously unreasonable.

But at least if you had managed to tell her quietly that would have been something, rather than your mum blabbing in company.

All your reasons for your parents being more pleased for you are just shit though.

I think she's being ridiculous. I'm pregnant with our first baby (and first grandchild for both sides) so lots of excitement. I'd still be over the moon if my brother and SIL announced they were having a baby! Heck we even joked that it would be cool if they'd had the news to announce when we did.

Your mum owes your brothers gf an apology, and your poor brother, there's no way it should be obvious that she is happier about her DD's pregnancy than her sons. That's shit for them.

Does your mother often favour you over your brother? If so then the GF's reaction could very much suggest that this is proverbial straw if they can't even pretend to be equally happy about the fact he is going to be a father.

I just can't imagine at all telling someone close that I'm pregnant & their reaction is well, meh, so is x.

Especially as x hadn't yet announced it themselves!

Me and DH found out we are expecting number two this week. We wanted to surprise Dad and MIL with a special present tomorrow and needed Mum to help so I told her last night before dinner.

Why are you getting your mum to help give your Dad and MIL a special present?

Could someone please explain to this old gimmer why only one person in a family or friendship group at a time is allowed to be pregnant? I think it's just terribly precious.

I remember joint baby showers, sharing symptoms and maternity clothes, helping decorate nurseries. A friend, a cousin, and I even had a 'race to delivery' as our dates were only about 10 days apart. It was actually great fun to be sharing the joys of impending motherhood. What happened?

Gamerchick....really. Very light on thinking there. I guess you'd interpret birthdays as embarrassing celebrations of a couples sex life too then.....

ImtheChristmasCarcass I think the gf's upset may be more due to the fact that OP's mother was more excited about one pregnancy than the other. OP has decided the reason for this is because she has had a shit year. Even if that was a good reason for reacting differently (I don't think it is) the girlfriend may just feel her DP is being treated less favourably than his sibling or she may even feel that the mother doesn't like her very much.

So mil is obviously more excited about the ops baby....That's fine. Of course it is. Why would she but juts as happy about her digs, dbro and his gf having a baby.

The ops mum and dad being more excited (which the ops admits) is shitty. And I suspect is something that happens alot to dbro. Not because the op has had a crap year. Surely both grandchildren should be equal, regardless of the circumstances.

Tbh, as I said, I suspect that the family has form for the OP being the golden child and the op quite likes it. Due to the fact that the op excuses her mum and dad reaction.

I have the feeling that the relevant fact is not clear, there are two grandmothers to be. One is grandmother to both, one to only the OPs child. That's why hers is being made more a fuss of. I can see the disappointment this must be to OPs SIL but I cannot see why she blames OP. Maybe she doesn't want to alienate her MIL for something that was after all simply an outpouring of pure joy, so OP is an easier target. 26 is young but also not that young! What will happen when she has to put her child first or her child does not achieve what she thinks he/she should? The OP is being very understanding I feel for something that was not her fault!

Maybe she feels like OP stole her thunder on purpose as she had enrolled her mum to tell the news to her Dad and MIL and her mum chose to do it while they were announcing their good news. Maybe OP's mum made it sound like OP was responsible.

Or maybe OP is always the golden child and Dbro GF resent it for it?

We don't really know how OP reacted to stealing the thunder.

Seriously, what your mum did is like asking your partner to marry you during someone else's wedding. It's just a big no no.

I think the whole family should plan a (little) surprise with cake and big fuss about Dbro's GF's pregnancy

She sounds a bit self-centred announcing her pregnancy like that to distant family. My own mil wouldn't give a monkey's if my sister was pregnant, but would care if I was. She shouldn't have expected any different.

Mary Got it! Thanks.

I think she's being ridiculous how is it ops fault if her mum blurted it out anyway ? Not like op is Psycic and should have prepped her mum not to say anything when the card was revealed

I also don't get why people get all "thunder stealing" about stuff like this I really don't yes it's exciting but not as much to everyone else as it is to the actual couple .

How exciting! Two cousins so close in age! 💗💕 Go apologise (even though it's not your fault) and suggest something to bring you together. Maternity clothes shopping? Spa day? I get why she's cross, but when it blows over it could be something really special for you both! Congratulations!! X

What an absolutely ridiculous way for grown adults to behave. From the girlfriend wanting to leave to the mother who cannot respect anyone else's privacy or right to excitement, to having to go for a walk as it's all so upsetting and a bad atmosphere in the house,

It's like a bunch of drama llamas in the one house, with no one behaving well. Pregnancy isn't a competition, no ones is more important than the others and no one should be made to feel it is.

And these are people about to be parents and grand parents. I'm sorry but this was going on in my family I'd be embarrassed.

DBros gf shouldnt be sulking at me?

She shouldn't be sulking because it's Christmas!

How exciting! Two cousins so close in age!

The Gf is being precious, I hope she realizes there will be lots of babies born on the same day as her baby and chances are yours will only be close in age.
Get her on her own, and have a chat, her announcement was spoilt and so was yours.