He doesn't believe in marriage

[sugarplumnight]

I've been dating a lovely man for a few months. He's wonderful, we get on really well, and it's getting to the stage where we are getting serious.

However he has told me last week that he doesn't want to get married, ever. He never has been, and he's 35 (I'm 25) At first this didn't bother me, but as I've thought about it more seriously I think I would like to marry someone eventually, and I think I would be disappointed to have to rule it out indefinitely.

So the question is AIBU to be re-thinking the whole (nearly) relationship? I really like him, I just don't know if this is going to be an issue. I'm not dead-set on marriage, and he might change his mind, but

When there are thousands of suitable partners out there I really don't understand why so many women sell themselves short.

'When there are thousands of suitable partners out there I really don't understand why so many women sell themselves short.'

Me, neither.

I think the problem is that, actually, there aren't enough decent men for the multitude of intelligent, successful women out there.

Hence men get away with being sub-standard simply because they are in short supply and women hear their clock ticking.

A lot of men I have met seem to have overestimated themselves. One in particular, who was nothing to write home about in the bedroom or elsewhere and mucked me about, simply could not believe I was dumping him. He still texts me 6 months later!

As often in life, people treat you the way you let them. If you put up with bad behaviour, that's what you'll get.

You cannot force anyone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected.

If a man doesn't treat you right or isn't offering what you need, walk away.

I was on a similar salary, similar prospects, assets and age as my boyfriend and no particular plans to have dc. When we decided to buy together there was no compelling reason not to marry and it was cheaper than the other legal options available to frame our lives/deaths.
Compellingly I now can say "husband", rather than partner (I work in a field where that is ambiguous).

A pp said they decided to marry for overseas legislative reasons. That DH maybe didn't especially want to marry before, and maybe nor did that DW, but neither had actually decided against marriage, and when it later became the right decision for them, they married.
One partner becoming a sahp is the most common reason I would think?