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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is being a knob, expecting me to be silent after a night out

104 replies

LardLizard · 23/12/2016 07:54

Ds went out last night, was driving so not drinking, got home about one
Got changed in the bathroom and was quite as a mouse got already for bed then slipped in bed

He was already huffing n puffing n sighing at this point

Then I went to text the friend, I was out with just av quick got home safe, as it's about a 45 min drive in the dark alone
Had to do it once iwas in bed, as my phone was out of charge
Otherwise I would have done it once I got on my drive before even getting in the house
Anyway dh had a fit about this saying how out of order I am etc
And basically going mad

Don't go out at night often really
Wasn't pissed
Was as quite as I possible could have been

OP posts:
MiladyThesaurus · 23/12/2016 07:56

Can you not just apologise for having woken him up and started pissing about with your phone?

Scooby20 · 23/12/2016 07:57

It would have pissed me off tbh.

Wether he was reasonable would depend on what you mean by 'having a fit'. Shouting and swearing is over the top.

QuiltedAloeVera · 23/12/2016 07:57

Sounds like an overreaction.

Does he go out?

ScarletOverkill · 23/12/2016 07:59

The thing is the light from your phone would have been quite bright in the darkness so I think ywbu to have used your phone in bed. Particularly as you knew you had disturbed him already. You could have been charging your phone in another room while you are getting changed to send the text.

MsJamieFraser · 23/12/2016 08:01

He needs to get a grip and I'd be telling him in no uncertain word that he does not speak to me in that manner.

HaveNoSocks · 23/12/2016 08:01

I think having a grumble would be perfectly reasonable if he was literally shouting then that's way over the top.

HermioneJeanGranger · 23/12/2016 08:02

I'd be pissed off to be woken up, albeit accidentally, only for my OH to carry on messing about and stopping me going back to sleep.

HIBU to huff and puff though - he could have just asked you to be quick/quiet.

Mindtrope · 23/12/2016 08:03

This would have pissed me off too.

OP you could have sent the text from another room.

5000candlesinthewind · 23/12/2016 08:03

I get really irrational when I've been woken up from my slumber. I can understand his frustration.

Don't think you are totally unreasonable though. I'm sure he'll get over it.

Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:05

Thing is even before I sent a v quick I'm home safe text he was already huffing n puffing and I'd already got changed in the bathroom

I jean it really is impossible to get into bd completely silent

We don't have a spare room
Otherwise I'd go in there after a night out

If I had took my charger out and into another room, that would have also pissed him off

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 23/12/2016 08:05

He's being a knob. Who went out-you or your DS?

kittybiscuits · 23/12/2016 08:06

I would wonder if he had some kind of problem with me going out.

Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:06

If he goes out, which to be fair isn't that often he normally wakes me accidentally
But he normally stinks of curry n beer
But I just stuck it up as it's not that often

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:07

I Went out

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:10

He seemed fine about me going out but he's weird IMO about sleep

For example we have Togo to bed at the same time
Like if he decides to go to bed at say 113o
He will say come on time for bed

And I have to go to bed because if he goes to bed, then I go up say an hour or so snd wake him, by just slipping into bed he gets pissed off then as he says if he gets woken he can't get back to sleep

So I end up going to bed sometimes before I want to

OP posts:
hawaiibaby · 23/12/2016 08:10

HIBU. These things happen when you go out - in fact my dh wakes me accidentally sometimes by just coming to bed after me. I just... go back to sleep Confused He sounds like a real misery.

Pseudonym99 · 23/12/2016 08:10

It's quiet. Not quite.

BowiesJumper · 23/12/2016 08:10

What's your son got to do with it?
Either way, he's overreacting just a tad.

HermioneJeanGranger · 23/12/2016 08:10

Has he apologised for getting stroppy?

I think most people are grumpy and irrational when they get woken up in the middle of the night, tbh.

Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:13

Oh I don't know why I've typed ds in op

He's only three so he wasn't out till that late lol

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 23/12/2016 08:15

Hasn't said anything yet

I came downstairs when the alarm went off at 730 as my tummy feels a bit funny

And he's still in bed

OP posts:
DeepanKrispanEven · 23/12/2016 08:15

Why did you have to text your friend anyway? It's no more dangerous driving home at midnight than driving home in the dark after work at 5.30 - do you feel the need to text all your friends that you've got home safely when you do that?

user1480946351 · 23/12/2016 08:16

You know that is incredibly controlling behaviour, right? He insists you go to bed when he wants you to, like a child? He complains about you daring to go out and make the slightest noise coming in ?

None of that is normal. Is he controlling in other ways?

SalemSaberhagen · 23/12/2016 08:17

Helpful, pseudonym Hmm

Scooby20 · 23/12/2016 08:17

Making you go to bed when he does is unreasonable

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